mumomonty

Hello
I've got an oz pr.
it took me about 14 years to get it along withmy hubby who now has citizenship.
we moved to oz in july 2001.
like all the gals I wailed about my change in lifestyle even though I had luxury apartment on beach etc. i declined into a deep miserable horrible depression yuk.
WE came back together in feb 2002. hubby lasted 2 days and booked flight back.
I returned in march 2002 with horse! yes horse!
I then got a dog inmay 2002.
i sent the horse home in dec 2002 deciding it was abig mistake and it was instant relief!
then i got the dog organised to cometo the uk (rabies etc...) and came to the uk with him in oct 2003.
hubby came back nov 2003, sold house in uk and gone back 2 days ago (aug 2004)
will i ever get over my boomerang feelings? or should i just book a return ticket. hubby is not coming back here to live.
i've identified what it is that i prefer in theuk - great dog walks and horse rides and better for animals in general but I do know the place is gonna hit the skids and wanna be with hubster and also doubt i will get place on own.
hubster nowin tassy as wants to be really out of the ratrace. is lookin for suitable land to buy to bild kit house on near to state forest so i can ride! bot of us are knacked andtired. it's all my fault.
should i:
get counselling before i go?
after i go?
how do i get over those blues?
i know i'm a loser beforeyou lot say anything.
i just wish i'd booked in with qantas frequent flyers by now as i'd have had a nice free flight.
is anyone else in a similar postion or been in one?
help genuinely sought

walla

Nobody is a loser for returning to the uk or being a boomerang. I think you need to make a decision either way. You need to talk to someone sure, but not sure if it's counselling you need

Walla

babybella

Hey I thought I was confused!!
I'm probably not the best person to advise you as i'm in a confused fuddle myself.
Anyway, I'm UK born, lived in France 2 years and NZ for 15 years, been back in UK for 4 but will leave for Brisbane next summer when it is a good school break.
I always feel like I don't really know where I belong but have finally reconciled to the fact that I have 2 homes, NZ and UK. There will always be things that you love more about one country that the other and things that you really miss. I just try to accept them as positives not negatives. Sometimes it is difficult and takes time, I hated UK for the first 6 months when I came back but love the fact I have just spent 3 weeks in Itlay, (something I will miss in Auss v. much).
Maybe set your self a time frame of 3 years or so to really see if it will work, does sound like you and your hubby have a lot to talk about.
Hope things work out
Kaz

ABCDiamond

I "used" to be a boomerang

I left the UK in 1986, but had major negativity problems here in Australia, and eventually returned to the UK in 1996. It then took me 4 years to work out that the negativity problems were my own doing, and I came back to Australia in 2000.

In my own situation, it came down to how I looked at everything, so I was able to change that, and now I feel very settled. Reading a number of posts on this site does however bring back memories of my earlier years here.

And I agree "Nobody is a loser for returning to the uk or being a boomerang".

Vegemite Kids

Hi Mumomonty,

You are not a loser. Or if you are then I'm one too I've boomeranged all round the world (14 countries so far) but have come back to OZ cos its Home for me. I still miss things about each of those countries though - some countries more than others.

I dont think people ever fully get over the boomerang feeling (its the price you pay for moving countries) and but thats not to say you cant build a great life for yourself in OZ (or wherever else you decide).

Oz is a big country and nobody would expect you to like all of it. There are probably certain parts of the UK you wouldnt even consider living in and there are parts of OZ that wont suit you either. I guess the trick is to find the bits that suit you and hubs.

I'm assuming the first time in OZ was not in Tazzy, so maybe tazzy will give you the things you've identified as preferring in the UK. (dog walks, horse rides, animal care etc). But at the end of the day are these things more important than being with your hubby ? Relationship = compromise and all that stuff.

You may well be right that you need to talk to someone, but IMO that someone should first of all be your hubby. Would you even be considering OZ again if he wasnt there ? Why is he so adamant about not re-settling in the UK ? Or is it an option for you come back to OZ with him for say three years and then he goes to UK with you for three years. (get the quantas card and start talking bulk discounts with shipping firms ) sometimes just knowing there is an end date makes the experience nicer.

Whatever happens I hope you find your niche place

Regards
Mairi

Phoenixuk2oz

Hi mumomonty

I agree with what others have said before.....you are NOT a loser.

You do sound "lost" and it seems you need to find out what it is you want out of life

Maybe compromise is the key here my friend? Life is very rarely about getting a whole platinum package

Good luck......I'm sure you're already on your way to finding it

mumomonty

------------
Thanks to you all who replied.
Eachof you have said things I've thought about.
My hubby's so worn out with talking he can't handle me anymore and says " You have to make your own decision -no-one can make it for you" He is being genuine I know that.
I have to change.
WhenIwas in Oz (central coast, nsw) I made a few friends and one in particular I count as my best friend in oz. we get on so well and i miss her.
i always said wheni wasthere it wasn't the place's fault (i.e. Oz) There were aspects i loved about it: the light, beauty, sense of freedom of choice and Ithought i could handle it but i didn't do that well.
Just typing this now i'm getting confused.
looks like i wil be joining thefrequent flyers but it feels sort oflike I'mdrifting into it because that's what I've always done.
thanks again.