blossom

We were in NSW for almost 14 years and occasionally I wanted to be back in the UK, but hubby and daughter were firmly fixed in Oz (so they thought)! However after serious illness I was concerned that if I did not survive my family would be on there own. I so strongly felt that if this happened they needed to be with family back in the UK.

Anyway, we ended up coming back (got my own way in the end). Can't say we have been unhappy here at all, there have been moments I could well have done without but on the whole, its not too bad.

However, it has not been that good that we want to stay and after 11 years we are now planning to return to Australia - including the 2 grandchildren we didn't foresee, where I know we will all be very happy. It is exciting for us making our new plans and getting all the old photos and movies out to show the children what Australia is like.

I will miss my parents, but I can honestly say that that is all, most of our friends have moved on and we don't have that same closeness we had originally, but I think that is more of an age thing and all having different priorities in our lives rather than just drifting away.

My biggest regret is that I didn't listen to hubby and daughter, I'm still here and loving life as much as I can, so why not love it where the sun shines.

Blossom

jad n rich

We gave serious thought to returning, but first did a lot of research including trips to other parts of australia, I think it made us realise we have it very good here. We ended up moving 25 minutes away to the middle of the sunshine coast instead of Noosa which we found very isolated at times.

I think given much of what is said on here about the UK, I take with a pinch of salt however recent returnees now rebounding back here again do make you think carefully.

We do know people happily installed back in the UK however their circumstances are very different to ours. I think any return to the UK for now would have to be after a very detailed research trip not the holiday we had that so unsettled us in the first place.

blossom

Okay, I had the rep from Crown into date to provide a quote on shipping our 'home' back to Oz.


During our chat, rep informed me that for every 100 families they ship out to Australia 30 return. And of the 30 that return, they ship 20 back to Australia.

Hope this helps!

Blossom

Merlot

Such an individual thing and everyone has their own reasons for either coming or going.

Came back 12 months ago to UK, had 9/10 great months, just got over 2 crappie ones (same time as long dark nights and cold weather, had a little to do with it ), now feeling fine again and enjoying every minute with my family and friends.

Will go back to Oz at some point, Hubby's folks there, he lived there 17 years and is more Australian than English. We have no kids, ties and are dual Citizens - we feel very lucky and count our blessings for that!

We will go when we are ready to go.

M

kath n kim

Thanks to all you who replied. I'm pleased to see that looking at the statistics most of you are happy bunnies!
On the downside this makes me feel even more restless as it makes me realise that my indecisiveness about spending the rest of my life in Australia probably means that I will never consider this my home, as most of you who replied seem to feel very settled very quickly.
I have been living here now for well over two years and still do not feel 100% settled, I suppose this should tell me something!
During this time we have met some very nice people and made some very good acquaintances and connected with a lot of people but I don't think I would call them "good friends" yet..... Those are still in the U.K.
Please don't think I'm not a friendly type of person, "stand offish" or anything, or even "snobby", "fussy" or too selective, in fact I believe that most people are inherently "good people". It's just that I class "good friends" as people that I could call on any time, people I would trust my life with, trust my children's life with (without wondering about their background history and whether they served time or were convicted a few years ago for paedophilia or the like.......This is not being suspicious, just realistic. Statistically most of us have at least one paedophile living within walking distance. This is not just in Australia either...) And whom I would never have to doubt their motives. And they could expect the same from me. Willingly. I feel this is the difference between family "good friends" and acquaintances.
I realise this sort of relationship takes time, but I'm not sure I am willing to sacrifice my children's childhood while I take the time out to build these sort of relationships again? All this time I feel, they would have something lacking in their lives too.
True, they are oblivious to the fact that they have no Grandparents here, they don't realise that they are missing out on that special relationship that only Grandma and Grandpa would only provide. (Weekend sleepovers at their house, where they get to do baking with Grandma, make wooden boxes with Grandpa, go for walks, listen to stories, be somewhere where they get spoiled rotten and are allowed to get away with things that Mum & Dad would never allow!) Or the fact that they have no extended family or family friends here, Aunties, Uncles or cousins who they can run riot with at family gatherings, weddings, Christmas etc...
Looking back at my own childhood these were some of my most enriching experiences and best memories, I feel sad that I am depriving my children of these special moments and memories, even if they are unnaware now that they are missing out on them, does this make it any better? I know they will be missing it, losing out on this important part of their development and childhood. They would probably become more aware too, as they got older and started to see their friends surrounded by their family.
Ceri said she wants to be buried where she was born, this struck a bit of a cord with me too because when I thought about it, I realised I didn't really want to be buried here either. (Not that I'm planning on going underground just yet!)
Don't think we didn't research this move either, yes we did. We had plenty of time to look into everything and every scenario while we were waiting for our visa application to be approved. (18months of research and still I didn't cover the power of emotions!) I suppose I didn't realise the true value of things.
Yes, we probably do have a better standard of living here than we would be able to afford back in the U.K. More money and a better house/car. But these are only "things", and I almost feel that this is another minus - It will teach the children to be more materialistic instead of the true value of things. I now feel that material items do not fulfill your life. Most things of the highest value are free. These are the things which Australia will never be able to provide (for us anyway) But it is something that Australia has taught us. Our journey here has been very enlightening.
So, thanks again for all your honest replies. I think this has just made me realise where my heart lies, and at the end of the day...."Home is where the heart lies...." So I think I'd better go and start packing!
By the way, incase any of you were wondering I think I should add that my partner does feel the same way as I do!

ABCDiamond

I was here for ten years before I moved back to the UK. Maybe I should have done the move back sooner, and got sorted out earlier Or, at the very least, stopped comparing to the "old" UK all the time.

What I did realise was that by constantly comparing, and only really concentrating on the negatives, the positives did not get a proper look in.

Then, when I did move back, to the same area, a lot of Australian memories resurfaced, and it wasn't until I made a fresh start in another area, that I was able to feel properly settled.

kath n kim

Hi ABCDiamond, yes I can agree that maybe I haven't been here long enough yet to really get my feet under the table, so to speak, but I feel that this is maybe one of my worries - If I'm never going to feel 100% happy here, then why prolong the agony so long that if we did decide to go back, we would find that we no longer fitted back into the U.K either, because we had been away so long that we had become more "Aussie" than British?
Or even worse, like a few expats have told me, they left it too late and now have too many commitments here, or they can no longer afford the move back?
I don't really compare the U.K to Australia, just our life. As a place to live, Australia can offer just about everything in lifestyle- except close relationships with the most important people and culture in mine, my partner's and our children's lives. These are the main things which I feel are missing, and I think that it doesn't matter where I look in Australia, I am not going to find them.
Yes, I did know that we would be leaving them behind when we came.
I did not forsee the emotional impact that it would have.

If you don't mind me asking, what were the reasons that took you back to the U.K after such a long time here?
And what brought you back again?
Do you have any children, and were they born here or in the U.K?
Thanks
kath n kim

wombat42

So of the 30 ships that return carry whinging Pom families that did'nt like OZ they then ship back 20 of the whinging pom families to OZ , why does Britain ship them back, we don't want them.

optus

I wish there was a homesick pill! Woke up this morning and all I can think about is going home and how much I miss the UK. I know it will pass, but at the moment it is the dark night of the soul.

Bugger!

ABCDiamond

I went back to the UK as I never really felt settled in Sydney, and one day just decided i'd had enough, and went back.

I returned to Australia again, basically because the UK wasn't what I really wanted after all.

1 child, 8 yrs old, born in UK, but loving it here in Australia after 4 years here, no, make that 5 years now, time flys .

One advantage that I have is no close relatives. So, no homesickness problems.

wombat42

Perhaps you should go back to the uK for a holiday and if you don't miss OZ at all or don't wish you were back in OZ then perhaps you should stay in the UK for good.

kath n kim

Yep, even you Wombat42!!

kath n kim

Thanks for that ABCDiamond.
Sorry to hear that you have no close relatives but, as you say, sometimes that can be a distinct advantage

When you went back to the U.K, did you go back to the same place?
And was it no longer what you really wanted because it had changed a lot since you left or for other reasons?

Is your partner from Australia, U.K or elsewhere?
And does she have any family here?

Sorry to ask possibly personal questions and I will not take offence if you don't wish to answer, it's just that it is good to hear it from someone else's point of view, who has "been there (and back again!) done it" and survived to tell the tale.
Thanks.
kath n kim

kath n kim

Hi optus! Yes, I know what you mean. If there was a pill there's probably a few occasions when I would have overdosed!
You're right, it will pass and you will probably get to love Australia nearly as much as the U.K. Then the decision of choosing where to live becomes even harder (it has for me anyway!) as you realise that each place has it's own qualities.......
Think I'll join you in one of those... !!!

Merlot

[QUOTE=kath n kim]
I suppose I didn't realise the true value of things.
Yes, we probably do have a better standard of living here than we would be able to afford back in the U.K. More money and a better house/car. But these are only "things", and I almost feel that this is another minus - It will teach the children to be more materialistic instead of the true value of things. I now feel that material items do not fulfill your life. Most things of the highest value are free. These are the things which Australia will never be able to provide (for us anyway) But it is something that Australia has taught us. Our journey here has been very enlightening.
QUOTE]

I have to say a fantasic thread!!!! I feel for your situation at the moment, been there.

I have been back 12 months, my Dad is about to re-marry this weekend and we have 195 people attending, mix of close family, life long friends, people that have known me since before I was born and some new faces.

I can't wait for that , this is what it is all about, I would have died of a broken heart if I could not share this day (or the run up with its stresses and fights)and sure that if I flew Oz to Uk, I would have not wanted to come back!!! The other side of that to is that my Dad could not give me away in Australia, so this is very important for me.

Basically, if my life came to an end now, I can honestly say I am surrounded by those that count, I would not be saying "Geez, what a fabulous Beamer I have on the drive".

Good luck
Merlot