Grumps

Any advice would be welcome on what is expected in a CV that will be sent to prospective employers. I've heard that the content has to be more in depth. Is this true?

If any of you guys have had experience of this then any comments, pointers or even websites with examples would be great. If anybody has an example that they would let me rip off I would be most obliged.

I need to get one together before the weekend is out. Please help :scared:

Grumps

Timber Floor Au

http://www.resume.net.au/ PT PREFERS LINKS


how to write a good resume AUSSIE style
http://www.libjobs.com.au/job_seekers/resumes/

chippy

Here's an except from my latest cv......


Objective: World domination

Education: Nailbender University
Ph.D. Building chicken houses, expected May 2010
President, Founder, and sole member, Antisocial Society, 1997-2001

Clown College & Certificate for Mediocrity.

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Experience
King of Jakarta, August 10th 1994 - August 11th 1994
Served students and dissidents... as lunch.
Rubber Goo, Ltd., Summer 1994
Responsible for all aspects of Goo production and quality control.
Mad Scientist At Large, April 9th 1970 - present
Creator of growth-accelerated reptile responsible for environmental damage in the greater Tokyo region, Investigator into things man was not meant to know, Inventor of mind control ray, Goo production and quality control.

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Skills
Computers: familiar with Unix, C++, FORTRAN, and going clickey clickey a lot
(un)Licensed dentist

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Interests
Collection of rejection letters from literary magazines
China-shop rugby enthusiast

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References
From: Joseph Walkers
Subject: Sweet Shortbread/Chippy specials

This luxury Shortbread is manufactured in the secluded village of Aberlour, Strathspey, in the heart of the Scottish Highlands. It is baked to a generations old recipe, and we personally guarantee that it is made entirely with creamery butter and the finest ingredients possible to obtain.


From: IVOR LOT
Subject: CHIPPY IS LIKE A MAN WHO IS COOL.

LET ME TAKE A MOMENT FROM MY BUSY DAY TO TELL YOU ABOUT CHIPPY.
CHIPPY'S IS AN IMPOSING FIGURE, STANDING FOUR FEET 64 INCHES IN HEIGHT WITH A PLUME OF STEAM RISING FROM HIS FURROWED BROW.
CHIPPY DRIVES A RED CONVERTIBLE BULLDOZER, THROUGH CAR PARKS AND ACROSS SMALL LAKES, BUT NEVER NEVER ON MAJOR THOROUGHFARES. CHIPPY HAS AN ACTIVE IMAGINATION. CHIPPY'S INTESTINES ARE 556 FEET LONG, SO LONG THAT IF DANGLED FROM THE TOP OF NELSON'S COLUMN
THEY SHOULD TOUCH THE GROUND WITH MANY FEET TO SPARE. CHIPPY IS ABLE TO FATHOM COMPLEX MATHEMATICAL PROOFS WHILE SUBMERGED IN A TANK OF OLIVE OIL. CHIPPY'S HAIRLINE IS RECEEDING. CHIPPY'S GREATEST FANS KEEP THEMSELVES SECRET, TUCKED AWAY IN EVERY CORNER OF SOCIETY.
CHIPPY HAS HAIR ON BOTH HIS LEGS. CHIPPY IS RARELY ENVIOUS.



From: I.P.Freely
To: Chippy
Subject: Re: You are wierd...

As a friend, I have to tell you that this charade has gone on far too long. We're all very worried about you. Your constant references to your "twin" brother are starting to get creepy. If you're willing, I'd like to put you in touch with my brother Doug --he's a psychiatist, and I'm sure he could help you.


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Timber Floor Au

Chippy,

Thankyou for your recent application, however we were looking for someone with less time on their hands and perhaps a SANER personality, however we have openings in our, Customer Service Area, many thanks .

Osama

chippy

Osama. I've bin laden down with too many worries lately, what with all this psychiatry business. All I need is a lucky break. Did I mention that I'm an expert beard trimmer?

Timber Floor Au

fmpsl u crack me up