JayDeee

This is just an observation I have made a a few "formal" ocations I have been in recently where I really noticed a difference between how things are dont in Britian and how they are done over here. I am not slagging off the Aussie way just stating the differences.

I have been to 2 weddings over here

One weding was very posh full sit down meal at a very expensive resturaunt and the other was a more laid back affair with canape's but the clothes some people wore were really (what I would call) scruffy, jeans and a tee shirt (unironed) thongs etc, no offence to these people but if it were my wedding and I had spent thousands and thousands of $$$ I would be a bit peed off at the lack of effort.

Then today I went to a Funeral, I dress in a dark Brown smart outfit and get my husbands suit, shirt and black tie out ready for him to just put on. His brother is stayibng here with us and it was his best mates funeral so he is carrying the coffin, he comes downstairs "ready" to leave wearing unironed half faded blue jeans and a black shirt with Billabong or some other surf brand painted all over it in white. I just looked at him in horror but kept my mouth shut as I'm sure what he was wearing was the least of his worries. When we arived at the cramatorium (which may I also add was outside and it was drizeling with rain and the sun was out so a beautiful rainbow was in the sky as the coffin was lowered which was so apt) half the people there were dressed like they were off to the beach. Dont get me wrong I am not against it as that is obviously the way it is done here but agian I dont think I'd be too happy if people didn't make some kinda effort for my funeral.

I dont know maybe us brits (or maybe it's just me) are a bunch of snobs but it just seemed wrong.

Is it just me or do others think that weddings and funerals are times where appearance should be of a high standard?

Kala

paulf

I agree with you, making an effort at a funeral is a show of respect.
sounds like Mandy Skeggs was right about taste.

kris maynard

Hi Kala
How strange i would think appearance was a mark of respect but maybe it could have been a final request or something anyway each to their own!!
Kris

JayDeee

Thats what I thought at 1st but there were no final requests, it was a very sudden death. I asked Ant (the Aussie hubby) and he said that he felt like a right eejit in a suit and had forgottenthat it was like this over here.

Like you say each to there own but if anyone comes to my funeral in scruffy clothes I'll haunt them forever

Kala

hevs

I reckon the age/ type of person whos funeral it is would denote the type of attire really. We went to a friend of my foster brthers funeral, he was 19, in all our goth () gear cos he would have freaked if we'd have dressed up.

Hope all is going ok hun..xx

tracey.d

I do agree that dressing up is seen as a mark of respect. However, I wouldn't have cared what my husbands mates wore to his funeral just so long as they were there. I know my brother was a bit worried as he didn't have a suit to wear (and he was carrying the coffin). I told him not to worry about it and certainly to not go out and buy one. To be honest, I can't even remember what he was wearing .

I think being there is/should be the major concern. I would hate to think that somebody had to stay away from a funeral as they didn't have and couldn't afford to buy something.

For a wedding however, I think it is a different matter. These occasions are usually planned in advance and therefore there is no excuse really. Unless the bride specified "come as you like" which would be very cool I think.
Maybe I'm just odd

Tracey

JackTheLad

Oh no!! So you could see the crease?

Sorry still getting up to speed on aussie lingo.


Thongs, right, right

JTL

moneypenny20

I have always said, and the family knows, that I do not want anyone wearing something dark and gloomy for my funeral. I want them wearing whatever they feel most comfortable in. It would be fab to know that people had come to say goodbye wearing jeans or designer dresses or whatever. It's a sad enough occasion without people wearing clothes that only come out at funerals and that they feel awkward in.

As Tracey said, I would be a bit peed off if they turned up at my wedding wearing surf gear though.

As long as someone turns up, that's the main thing.

JayDeee

Never actually thought about it that way, Gladly I have never had to. It was all just very different to any British funeral I have been to.

Kala

Pandanda

Eeeek! That sounds very strange. I've played music for numerous weddings (and a couple of funerals too) for quite a few years over here, and never seen anything like that -- people are always dressed up quite smartly for those sort of occasions. Maybe it depends on the area that you live in.

Scossie

Yup Kala.
I know exactly where you're coming from.
We went to a neighbour's funeral recently, & I was wearing the usual dark suit, white shirt & black tie.
When we got to the crematorium there was a huge turnout for the funeral, but as you said, most of the people were dressed in jeans & t-shirts, jumpers, trainers etc. There were some guys wearing a shirt & tie but one had a tie so bright you could probably see it from space! Another guy was wearing a Homer Simpson tie!?!

I think most of the mourners must have thought I was the Undertaker!

snowbunny

May I point out that dressing in formal black is very hot in a warm climate? I still do it out of respect, but I'm in the minority here in Texas. I'm a septic, so I think it's all down to how you were raised. I was raised to believe that solemn events such as weddings and funerals merit signs of respect such as trading in the bikini for a dress. However, I've seen white worn to weddings (a definite traditional no-no).

It's not hard to keep a simple black dress on hand. Can be worn to go out or for job interviews. Short sleeves, a mid calf hem (so that no tights are required) and simple black shoes make it bearable.

Anne4Terry

[QUOTE=snowbunny]May I point out that dressing in formal black is very hot in a warm climate? I still do it out of respect, but I'm in the minority here in Texas. I'm a septic, QUOTE]

I am a little concerned about you being "septic"!!! Are you ill?

I assume you mean sceptic? LOL

snowbunny

Nope, I'm a Yank = septic tank. though indeed I am a sceptic septic. Now that's a tonguetwister!

wmoore

You're also a long way south today You bored or something?