Blossy

Hi guys and gals

This is the 1st thread i have started so please be gentle with me

We arrived in Sydney 3 weeks ago, i am a nurse here in a large hospital and really getting into my job and love it. We dont have any family here and not made too many friends as of yet, at times i get homesick but as my days are so full tend not to dwell on it.

My boyfriend on the other hand is a Freelance web developer who works from home and is very very homesick and as he is on his own a lot more than me tends to dwell on things.

My question is, is this a normal thing to be going through and how long does it last, i know thats a bit like asking how long is a piece of string but i'd welcome all of your input.

Thanks

Blossy

jayr

Absolutely it's normal, and I'm afraid to say it may take six months to get over the worst of it. It's not so much homesickness as the"Oh my god what am I doing here where I know no-one and nothing and its all too hard when I've left friends family and familiarity behind at home".

The frustrations of being like a child in an adults world is difficult (i.e. you don't even know 'how' to get on a bus, 'how' to shop, 'how' to respond to "G'Day") and distance and loneliness is never a good thing.

I think you'll go through a stage of withdrawal where it's all too hard to even try to settle in and do new stuff. Taking small steps at thsi time is probably important, not so much to dive in to making new friends but just forcing yourselves out on the world, simple stuff like join and go the library, go for walks - spend as little time in the house on your own as possible. Later on join up to some things, Ozzies are a social lot and you will soon be on the way to BBQ invites etc.

In six months you will be well past the worst as you get more familiar with your surroundings and begin to have human contact. Good luck.

mlbonner

Hi Blossy,

I'd say it was definitely normal - you've been taken out of your usual surroundings and placed on the otherside of the world. I always find myself thinking of home at times when I'm alone (and basically have nothing else to do!).
It is hard, but I do think you need to get out there a bit. You say you're doing okay, and by the sounds of it your job would involve a lot of interaction with hundreds of people... just perfect for keeping the blues away. IMO your boyf needs to do something similar.
Perhaps you could learn to scuba dive together, or learn a language together, whatever works for you. Or does your boyfriend play soccer, or maybe he'd like to take up Touch Footy or AFL (training starts again in Nov). As a web designer, perhaps there is a nightclass he could do nearby to not only help him in his career but also to meet likeminded people.

Everyone has their own approach and like you say it is very subjective. Sounds like he's just missing interaction though and the easiest way to fix that is to interact!!!

Ceri

It seems it is very normal to a lot of people. Lots of new arrivals go through homesickness. I can't relate to this, because it's the opposite with me. I've been an expat for around 12 years now moving about from Asia to Aus .. the longer it goes on the more that homesickness creeps in. I don't think I was ever homesick in the first few years.. but most people that I have read here they seem to go through this.

Can't really relate to this new arrival homesickness sorry, I don't think I was ever homesick in the beginning because it was never meant to be permanent/for ever me working abroad. With me it's the opposite.. been to long living away from my country , and now just want to go back to my home now. The first few years I took it all in .. just like some adventure, and enjoyed the ride, the new experiences, the challenge etc etc .

I would think you being a nurse, you'd get to make a wide variety of friends there at the hospital.. nurse "p*ss ups" , or what ever. your boyfriend needs to find his feet as well,which is proably a lot harder to do if he works from home .. maybe clubs is the answer.. whether it's football (like been mentioned) fishing clubs, 4 wheel drive clubs anything

Give it time - you can't expect to make friends and find your feet in just a few weeks.

months or years from now you could be very well settled into your new life here...loving it , or who knows feel the same way about missing home ... but give it time

Good luck

Blossy

thanks so much peeps, its very comforting to know that its normal, he loves soccer and has even joined a local Chelsea supporters club in Sydney, some of you might say "what comfort is that " We are looking for a house to buy at the moment so maybe that will help when we have our very own place.

once again

thank you

gedge

Just a thought, but why don't you go along to the sydney expats meet in two weeks time?
Read all about it here.

ABCDiamond

Blossy
What area of Sydney are you in ?

It may be that an expats group meet could be on near you, and that could help in starting to get to know more people. I feel that the more people that you know, the easier it may be. Especially for your boyfriend, if he is stuck at home most of the time.

If there isn't an expats meet going on, then why not start one ? Do you have a BBQ where you are staying ? If so put a post on here and say "everyone round to our place on "date" and bring your own BBQ'able food and drink"

I did something like that a little while ago and got over 50 people round

good luck, and what area of Sydney are you looking to buy a house ?

gedge

Yeah, what he said.

owieb

Just to throw a spanner in the works, I do exactly the same work as your boyfriend and I work from home.

I've never had any feelings of home sickness at all and much prefer working on my own.

Guess it's what you're used to and what drives you. I love the work that I do; but if i fancy a break I get myself out and go and do some surfing or kiting, then come back fully refereshed to carry on. It makes me appreciate how lucky I am to have the flexibility to do other things.

Maybe everyone else is "normal" and I'm the oddball!?!

bondipom

It takes time to settle and hopefully your boyfriend will start getting into things. I've never been homesick but I sometimes would like a good night out with my old friends. Anyhow getting active and out and about is the thing to do. Good luck.

scoobydoo

I have just been through the same thing and it lasted 6 months....my husband suffered!! Am feeling much more positive now. So just to say what the others have really - hang in there and take one step at a time.

Blossy

Thanks again everyone for their replies, so very constructive. We definitely plan to attend the meet

We are near Parramatta, we intend to stay in the area as its close to my work

moneypenny20

Get him on here, we'll cheer him up. Either that or send him round the bend

rumbletum

Glad to hear that you intend to come to the expats meet Blossy. You will probably feel a bit excited about meeting people and maybe a bit nervous, but it really will help. As Soapy says on the 'Sydney Meet' thread, you really will benefit from it and meet some lovely people like we did. Remember we have all been through it too.
We have been here for 2 months, I am also a nurse and so is Soapy's wife and a load of others around here, so there will be lots to talk about!! We will also do our best to make your boyfriend welcome, he will no doubt meet people in his line of work too.
PS I went through a stage of bad homesickness about a month ago and felt really bad for about a week, didnt want to talk to anyone really, but it has passed and now I feel really good. I enjoy being with the mates we made from here and the others that we had out here before we came. The secret is to keep busy and not to be alone for too long when you feel it coming on
Looking forward to meeting you both in a couple of weeks.
Heather x

soapy©

Blossy, Heather is right. After the meet u wont feel as bad. u will still get days when u feel down. but u have people on the other end of the phone.
it makes life so much easier here.
then things dont feel so bad.
Get up Get oot and Get laughing it works wonders

soapy