danno

We've been talking about moving to NZ for more than a year. We are a family of 4 (2 kids 10 & 7) and our intention has always been to go for 2-3 years just for the adventure. We went out for a month in October and really enjoyed it and I'm now on the brink of being offered a job in Wellington. So far so good BUT now that it looks like being reality rather than a dream both wife and I are having doubts. Me more because to make the most of things we'd need to sell our house (albeit that we'd buy another easier to rent and have cash to buy outright in NZ). Wife is more concerned about missing family and friends.

I'm sure there must have been many posts like this before but I'd be glad to hear any views from people in a similar position or from those who put their fears behind them and did it.

Pollster

WE dreamed about going to New Zealand until hubby got a job and then we panicked!!

The reality can be very scary, we are going with the attitude that it is all an adventure for a couple of years and if it works out to be the place we want to live in for a bit longer then great.

If not we will come back to the UK.

Don't think about the now, think about the future and what will you feel if you DON'T go - sad or regretful or happy or.....?

Jirrupin

You will probably receive lots of different advice but at the end of the day you have to make your own decision. Migration works for some and not others. IMO you have to decide what emotional, physical and financial cost you are willing to pay to attempt this adventure. If you have a job lined up then you have a major hurdle already completed. You do have to consider the impact on all your famly.

It is a long way away and some people find homesickness overwhelming. Although some people find the move to OZ or NZ as they expected, some just find that they carry on living their lives, jobs, shopping, school, problems, pressures etc etc just in a different place.

Maybe you can rent out your house in the UK and then rent in NZ that way you haven't given up everything. You need to chat to people in NZ look at the moving back to the UK forum and there is a recent thread about some poeple in NZ wanting to go back to UK, this may give you the idea of the possible troubles you may encounter. Also people do enjoy NZ chat to them also.

Lots of times I have read on this forum that a lot of your happiness depends on the expectations you have. We did have some expectations and we have had to alter them dramatically but that is not necessarily a bad thing, but then we didn't put all of our eggs in one basket

Whatever you decide to do, I hope it makes you happy.

noodle

Danno

I posted on here a while ago, asking how to cope with my doubts and a got a huge response. Also I read a post today from Bussie who is loving it in Perth, but nearly didn't come because he nearly changed his mind.

I think everyone feels the same when the reality of it all kicks in (I can only imagine) and you wouldn't be normal if you didn't have these feelings. You say that your intention was to go for a few years for the adventure, so it's not like you are committing yourselves to NZ forever. You can always come back. Go on, give it a go. I wish you lots of luck and hope you all have a great life whatever your decision.

Noodle

TraceyW

We too are having serious doubts now. We're a year into this and are waiting to be sent for medicals but the reality that Oz is no Paradise has finally hit home..hard! We wanted to do this to have a better quality of life, both financially and personally with Dave (hubby) being able to spend more time with us as a family. It now turns out he'll be working roughly the same hours for half the pay and he'll have to work overtime to make up the difference to cover the mortgage we're now going to have to take out as the exchange rate drops! Defeats the object really!

Very, very doom and gloomy at the moment. Sorry.

We have a couple more months left to weigh up whether it's worth gambling all we have now, for what we may have in Oz...if it all goes right.

Ho ho ho...merry christmas!!!!!

PeterAndSue

traceyW,
Maybe light at the end of the tunnel,
but the exchange rate is coming back up.
So maybe he will only have to work half that planned overtime !!!

TraceyW

lol ah, but works the best place for him! Keeps him out from under my feet!

You're off soon aren't you, so are quite a few others off this forum. I look forward to reading the posts from people who have actually made the jump, not just us wannabes! I suppose, if I'm honest, I'm just terrified of it not working and then it will have all been for nothing and we'll have to start all over again back here in good old Blighty! You seem pretty positive about it all and sure you've made the right choices and I wish you all the luck in the world. Let us all know what happens won't you?

ANA123

danno,

I've changed my mind about going to Oz many times throughout the process, I feel its part of the decision making and weighing up the pros and cons for your family. Personally I think this is a healthy process and if you research well, although you may not like everything you hear, at least your expectations will be realistic if you do decide to go.
Personally, my doubts have subsided since booking the flights and sorting out all the practicalities, and I now feel sure that we should go and give it a try. Whether this will be right for us only time will tell but at least we wont be saying what if....


Good luck with whatever you decide.

Michaela

JaneandJim

Hi Tracey,

It won't have been for nothing if you have to come back. At least you'll be able to say you've done it, and know that you didn't miss your chance. More people regret the things they haven't done than the things they've done.

We're going in less than 2 weeks. Everything is sorted now, and the time will fly by with Christmas coming. Too late for panic now! Hope everything works out for you.

Jane

carryon

Its an absoulute bugger trying to make a decision isnt it? weve been swaying back and forth for a year, friends emigrated to sydney 2 years ago, love it, not said a single bad word. Then we started hearing slightly more negative veiws on here, which is a good thing, makes you think harder, my wife can get a job almost anywhere in aus which makes that side easier, but then the exchange rate started to drop, although looking at the real estate today prices around perth seem to be slipping. wife was very keen 6 months ago but has now started worrying about missing family, 4 weeks ago wife collegue emigrated to perth, and loves it, although early days, now rekindled interest again. were going out for a month in march to get a feel for the place and visit friends, get a real view, hopefully. good luck in whatever you do, and even more to those of you who have been brave enough to do it! Happy new year to all.........

bondipom

Think long and hard as NZ and Oz do not want unhappy migrants. What does NZ offer that you cannot get from a short flight to Europe or the US? Have a read on the returning to UK section for a very lively read on the pros and cons of living in NZ.

Another thing I find is that Aussies yearn to go back to Australia but I rarely find Kiwis want to return to NZ.

WheelsOfSteel

All very normal on the worry front. You will chop and change your wanting to move all the time. You are out of your comfort zone after all.

Also, it's unfair to say Kiwis never want to return, as I have met many who have spent time overseas and moved back voluntarily becasue this is where they want to be.

If you want the bright lights then nz isn't the place for you. I would imagine it appeals to a different type of person that maybe wants something else?

You have the right attitude though. Just go with the flow and go somewhere else if you don't fancy it after a while.

Jirrupin

I am lucky that I never had any doubts about giving Oz a go, but then as I have said before I wasn't putting everything I had financially into the move and I do think this makes a big difference.

Some people do say that you can at least say you have tried it but remember it can be a very costly business and although the cost varies from person to person overall it can cost several £1000's, especially if you have to support yourself while looking for a job.

So my advice is be sure how much you are willing to 'gamble'. I have met expats here who just have to make the best of it because they couldn't afford to go back to the UK. Ask them how they have found life here and a few of them have answered 'hard'.

Maybe they forgot to collect the free rose tinted glasses at the arrivals lounge

TraceyW

lol
Hi Donna

I think if we could rent our house out here then I would probably be feeling better about going to Oz and giving it a really good go but we can't. We need the equity from our home to be able to get the visas as we are having to pay the bond of 100k.

I feel so afraid of all of this. It's mainly because Dave and I have had to start again once before, it's both our second marriages and we've found it tough starting off with nothing in your mid 30's. So the thought of giving up what we have achieved to fly half way round the world to start again, with the knowledge that it may not work for various reasons, scares the hell out of us both. I think the feelings are also exagerated as we have two small children and although we know that kids are adaptable, we just want them to have a good, stable life. Not one where they're dragged around moving all over the place.

When we started this journey at the beginning of the year it was based on what Dave had seen on his travels throughout Oz 10 years ago. He's always yearned to go back and to try to make a life there. So, after a lot of thought and discussion we decided to try. We employed an agent and we are waiting now to go for our medicals. It's over the past 6 months or so that our 'rose tinted glasses' have become very blurry indeed. Especially when we read threads that involve people who have done it and want to return to England. It makes you realise that it doesn't always work out.

When I tell people that we are hopefully emigrating to Oz they usually say 'how fantastic' or 'what an amazing lifestyle you'll have' they all envisage Oz to be a place where the sun shines constantly and they will laze on the beach all day and light up the barbie at night! They haven't got a clue about the realities of Oz. The low wages, the drug problems, the high suicide rates (Adelaide) the un-employment issues, the bloody spiders (!) and the most real of all...that you're one heck of a long way from home and all that home means.

So, all in all, we have some really serious thinking to do over the next couple of months. Should we decide not to go, yes perhaps we will think 'what if' in years to come, but our decision will be based on logical, practical reasons and not whims and dreams.

Jirrupin

Hi Tracey,

One of the most realistic threads I have read for a while. I wish you luck whatever your decision is.


Donna