spuds

1. The weather - shall I take my jumper/jacket/mozzie spray/brolly/sun hat/wellies/snowsuit/factor 50/all of the above???


2. The 'driving' (I use the term loosely) -
"Hey, Bruce, what are those funny flashing orange lights on the side of that car mate?"
"Buggered if I know Shane mate, sure my old bomb doesn't have any!"


3. DIMIA - enough said.


4. TV Adverts - what is going on with this? Poor quality, unintelligible bellowing crap which would never entice me or any sane living person to buy their wares.


5. Frequency of TV Adverts - honestly, you get the opening credits, then the adverts, then 5/6 ads in a half hour programme, then the ads, then the closing credits. I can't even stay up late enough to watch a decent film as they are all at least an extra hour long!


6. "No worries mate!" - the Ozzie equivalent to "Mañana Mañana" which realistically translates as, "Not this week mate! I'm a workshy, lazy-arsed b@stard!"


7. The flies - Isn't it time these all-orifice invading, burst-a-blood-vessel-dementia-inducing annoying little buggers were eradicated?


8. The Dollar - right, you have enjoyed the spotlight for quite long enough, please go back to the puny little currency you used to be.


9. St. Kilda - paradise of the misled or pisshead, depending on how you look at it. Shabby yes, chic it ain't.


10. AFL - "reminiscent of a bunch of medieval peasants hoofing around a pig's bladder until someone gets trampled to death" sums it up for me.




These are probably more specific to Melbourne and are mostly tongue in cheek observations of the Ozzies and their idiosyncrasies. We are actually having a really good time and have no plans to come back just yet!

We have actually just bought a plot of land in this mad country so it can't be too bad eh?

Lany

Completely agree with your ten things!! Whereabouts in melbourne are you?

spuds

Hi Lany,

We are renting in Armadale at the moment but have bought a plot and hoping to build house in Sanctuary Lakes as soon as DIMIA see fit to let us!

What about you?

Lany

I'm living in the city centre in a rented apartment, arrived in October. Mixed feelings! Just got my spouse visa granted last week so am starting to look for work

spuds

Yes, that's when we got here - I am on a working holiday visa and have been working as a Vet Nurse for the last three months while waiting for my teaching qualifications to be recognised. My poor hubby is playing house-husband though and going quietly mad!

So you are married to an Ozzie eh? We should go for a drink some time - we are only 10 mins from the city.

anzen12

Only 10! Geez, most new arrivals could come up with a few more. Of course, that's why we are called whinging poms.

I have lived in a few countries in the last couple of years - and there is something about a bunch of English people together - that just brings out the moans and complaints (me included).

To add to your list:

1. Television comedy - it seemes to be aimed at 6 year old boys. Toilet humour without the funny bits.

2. Aussie sportsmen who act as though they have just discovered a cure for cancer when they win something (Brett Lee, Leyton Hewitt etc, etc)

3. The fear of getting into an "intelligent" conversation. Women may be different, but most Aussie guys I know would rather throw up than discuss something interesting or meaningful.

4. Driving in the fast lane at 40k's per hour. Nuff said.

5. Being ripped off with almost anything electronic. In Singapore, you can buy exactly the same products that we are offered(with a different plug) for 30% cheaper.

I actually love living here - but it is dead easy to find stuff to criticize.

Lany

he's british but has ozzie residency. yeah that'd be great to go for a drink, when suits you? Think we are going out on sat nite with another couple we met on this site if u fancy it?

anya4oz

As we are in the process of moving to Melbourne, I found this post provided some very useful background information

Can you help me by listing 10 things you like about it (just to make me feel better ) Just joking - actually, I think you are quite right to see all sides of the picture about where you live.

Saw Sanctuary Lakes on the web - looks nice in the pics. Wondered what it was like 'for real' - in particular, are there any public transport links to the City Center?

Cheers
Anya.

OzTennis

Sanctuary Lakes - buses nearby, train from Laverton a few miles away, quick freeway link via Westgate Bridge to CBD. It's a complex (owned by Malaysians) which is centred around some man made lakes and a Greg Norman designed golf course with clubhouse, recreation club with tennis courts, swimming pool, gym etc. Property has to be from approved designs so they are almost exclusively 2 storey houses, many with lakeside frontages. The best blocks of land with views of the bay and the city skyline are about to be released soon or have just been released. Most of the residents are young professionals, families or retired and after the lifestyle. Just a few thoughts FWIW (and I'll refrain from '10 things I hate about the UK').

OzTennis

OzTennis

Beg to differ on no.2. Let's not have this obvious fierce desire to win which Hewitt in particular displays eh?

Instead, how about they celebrate by kissing each other, or how about pretending to 'sniff a line' like Robbie Fowler, or imitate a centipede by grabbing each other's feet on the ground, or use the corner flag as a microphone, or rock their arms as if they are holding a baby, or throw their shirt in the crowd (with the obligatory comment written on a T shirt below it). That's the 'proper' way to celebrate isn't it?

At least Hewitt and Lee do it spontaneously and don't practise it and think about how they are going celebrate.

OzTennis

The Koalas

Or Shane warne sticking 2 fingers up at the crowd and dancing like a prat on the seats. Or how he reported the indians for match fixing then he was investigated too. Or how he took drugs and got banned. Or how your goalie got suspended for drugs and drinking, or how you shunned Kathy Freeman for years until she became internationaly famous then you wanted her as a sports woman, or how your footie guys go into Sydney and get so drunk they collapse in the streets and get arrested for drunken behaviour..... if you are without sin then by all means throw stones, but if your not then expect stones back.

The Koalas

In all honesty it is a British expats web site and if you feel the need why not set up your own Ozzie expats site and then post the 10 things, did you think everyone to go on here and say wonderful things about OZ????
I like OZ and I am going back soon, but for christ sake ozTennis don't get so up tight over what is written about your country.

anya4oz

Thanks, Oz, very helpful. I've heard the Melbourne buses are far better than the typical UK bus (oops, nearly strayed into the '10 things I hate about the UK' territory there ), so would be quite happy with a bus link.

It looks like a nice peaceful place, but near enough the city to be a short commute to the CBD. Also I like the idea of the nature reserve, free gym/pool membership etc. Must go check it out when we do our validation/sussing trip in April.

Anya.

anzen12

I don't believe this for a moment. Lee's trench digging and Hewitt's "fist up yer bum" swing, are about as spontaneous as a John Howard speech.

I'll bet you a pound to a cent they both have full length mirrors strategically placed in their bedrooms.

hevs

i think he was just having a wee jest, i dont think he's the one who's uptight