Well, I'm pleased to be able to report that in some sectors they do exist, and work.
The other day we discovered that 'a nonna had a passport that was about to expire. Remembering the palaver when we renewed it 10 years ago, and having read what I now have to do to renew my British one next year, I thougght 'here we go again'; after last weeks little lot at the comune for a 'life certificate'.
Anyway, went on line to find out what we needed this time round, and 'bingo' - you fill out the dead simple form online, including making a fixed time appointment to suit you at the Questura. No certficates, just fill in the details. All you have to do then is print it off, get 2 photos, a 'contrassegno elettronico' for 40 odd eurines at the tobacconist, pay another 40 odd eurines on a pre printed form at the post office - job done. Present yourself at the appointed time, get fingerprinted electronically, and put a couple of signatures on the photos, and that's it. All assisted by a very courteous plain clothes officer, who tells you exactly what day and time the passport will be ready (10 days).
Well done Polizia di Stato
ciao for now,
'o nonno

Have you secretly relocated to Switzerland or the likes?

Believe it or not, rural deep South.:-)