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Re: Generic questions!
Originally Posted by hatfield1
(Post 5575254)
That’s the funny thing about SA forums there is very little room in the middle. I think it is a good indicator to how things are over there. Everyone picks a side and refrains from compromising. I don’t know that I would consider crime a political issue; I think you will find it is very much a way of life. I think you will find that SA is a very bipolar place to live; it has its extreme ups and equally extreme downs. Regard less of what you read on here or what the BF tells you prepare to have your mind blown, nothing can prepare you for the spectacle that is Africa.
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Re: Generic questions!
Originally Posted by amb
(Post 5575205)
You're right, not nasty, ansty! Do forgive me, it appeared to me to be a typo. Please offer the definition of that word as I cannot seem to find it in a dictionary so not quite sure what your point is. :huh:
I'm certainly not getting worked up over this, there is a clearly a big clique here with a chain of command that I'm not yet used to! Having looked at the post history I can see I'm not the first one to be force fed 'SA = certain death'. In one light it seems like people are saying you ought to be aware of crime, in another they say it's inevitable, so I'm rather lost. I'm not going to understand the politics of SA either now or even after a year living there, so I'm not going to get into it! |
Re: Generic questions!
Originally Posted by amb
(Post 5575291)
And not one person has suggested being hit by severe crime is anything but inevitable!
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Re: Generic questions!
Originally Posted by amb
(Post 5575029)
Oh come off it. If I ignore everything I told everyone gets ansty, if I agree he might have rose coloured glasses on, you say I've got bigger fish to fry than SA. :frown:
I'll worry about the relationship, you lot worry about the politics eh? I would worry about your relationship because I have lived in South Africa and even although the transition took time which makes the condition of the country less obvious to some, the risk for women living there is very real. My nephew’s wife was very close to being raped whilst they held him as gun point, this was in Rosebank, supposedly a good area of Johannesburg. They bast***s that broke in were not happy to take their belongings, they wanted to rape the white bitch, of course that means a gang rape. They had her down to her underwear when their posted lookout outside warned them that the security company was on the way. If you can even imagine the physcolgical effect the whole deal had on his wife ? :ohmy::ohmy::ohmy:Any male that cares about his partner in a situation like that will become a basket case within ten minutes. The realisations that you are HELPLESS in a society where the criminals are barbarians have more right than you. The trauma result was they got out of SA in a hurry, not worried what they sold their home and belongings for. They experienced a jolt Having been a member of this forum some time now I have watched many SA folk come on here for the first time and say they are sick to death of living in alert mode all the time and want out ASAP. Most husbands and fathers say that they are exhausted with the worry that something will happen to their precious ones. Of course, no sunshine, no domestic help, no swimming pool, no fancy car and double story house with gold plated toilets will repair the damage that SO MANY have fallen victim to. Let me ask you a very SERIOUS question: Have you ever had your car broken into or your handbag snatched ? That feeling - in South Africa will multiply by a thousand as usually the crime is associated with murder, rape or at the least torture. The racial HATRED in South Africa is so rife that regardless of how many homeless starving Africans you help, many will still glare at you and see you as the fault that they don’t have a job or live in a tin shack or have no heating in a freezing Johannesburg ( oh yes). You read the last 20 posts on this thread and see how the whole thing just swings into the whites being blamed and a racial anger being spewed out. When you move to South Africa, you are white and a British one at that. You are part of the colonials that bought & sold African slaves, you were the designer of apartheid and the reason that there is so many unemployed in the country, you are the reason the health system is falling apart. YOU are to blame. I have travelled through border posts MANY times with black border guards searching our car whilst they reek of alcohol and ganga whilst clutching a machine gun. Many times the white woman in the car was referred to as “white bitch†trying to provoke a response from me. My point: You are not my daughter but you are somebody’s daughter. You are precious and the fact that your boyfriend is not openly discussing the situation with you in South Africa certainly does not give the impression that he really cares for you in a way that you are precious. If you go to Africa, one of the first things you will learn is that life is cheap. BUT: Ultimately you are aware of the potential dangers in South Africa and if you are happy to move to a strange country with a boyfriend where you do not openly discuss situations like this I shudder to think what will happen if you really need his support. Regardless I wish you good luck. |
Re: Generic questions!
Campbells, you don't understand. This is exactly what AMB does not want to hear, and is feeling like this is being forced down her throat. :sneaky: Please offer only feel good stories.
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Re: Generic questions!
Originally Posted by Tegwyn
(Post 5575313)
Mere choice.
South Africans just live with it as best they can. It is second nature. Some things you can guard against to a certain extent. You do not, for example, drive with doors unlocked, or often with any windows open. You always check who is behind you, either walking or driving. You do not drive out at night into "no go" areas. You always check who's around when entering or leaving via the security gates in your driveway.... And on it goes. And as I say, all this will be made clear right at the start to any visitor. |
Re: Generic questions!
Just because I do not openly discuss the conversations I have with my boyf on an internet forum, does not mean that we do not have discusssions. :thumbsup: Only on an internet forum could I be told that I should worry about my relationship.
And Tegwyn, sssh will you, you must be scraping at the bottom of the barrell for that one. |
Re: Generic questions!
Originally Posted by Pablo
(Post 5575406)
I agree Tegwyn. I mean, all the nitty gritty stuff about personal security precautions will be explained to anyone moving to Jo'burg on DAY ONE.
South Africans just live with it as best they can. It is second nature. Some things you can guard against to a certain extent. You do not, for example, drive with doors unlocked, or often with any windows open. You always check who is behind you, either walking or driving. You do not drive out at night into "no go" areas. You always check who's around when entering or leaving via the security gates in your driveway.... And on it goes. And as I say, all this will be made clear right at the start to any visitor. Not one of these things have been mentioned before. Just men jumping into gardens in boomed compounds to rape girls. |
Re: Generic questions!
Originally Posted by Tegwyn
(Post 5575396)
Campbells, you don't understand. This is exactly what AMB does not want to hear, and is feeling like this is being forced down her throat. :sneaky: Please offer only feel good stories.
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Re: Generic questions!
Originally Posted by amb
(Post 5575415)
Not one of these things have been mentioned before. Just men jumping into gardens in boomed compounds to rape girls.
Well they soon will. Believe it or not, the people writing to you do actually wish you well. I mean, go and look at Homecoming Revolution or something if you just want the good news version. |
Re: Generic questions!
Let me see. Don't drive around at night if you can help it, and never alone in the car.
Don't walk around at night, ever. Never stop at a red light at night. Drive through. At any time of day or night, when you stop behind a car at a red light, leave a space in front of you, in case you have to make a quick getaway. Lock all doors and windows in the car. Never leave anything on the seats, whether back or front, and that includes your bag when you're driving, put it under your seat. When you arrive home, no matter what time, make sure there are not cars following you, if you think you're being followed, drive to the nearest shop, or police station. When you arrive at home, make sure there is no one waiting for you behind the gates, and that there are no loiterers in the street. Pull in as fast as you can, and get into the house, ensuring there is no one inside first. Open the security gate, then open the door, then lock the security gate, then lock the door. At night, make sure your 'rape gate' the gate between the lounge and the bedrooms, is locked. When you walk to your car after being in the shops, make sure you are not being followed, be aware at all times. Only get into the car if there is no one near you and lock it and drive off as quickly as possible. Just some of the things you'll be doing when you move there. |
Re: Generic questions!
Originally Posted by amb
(Post 5575412)
Just because I do not openly discuss the conversations I have with my boyf on an internet forum, does not mean that we do not have discusssions. :thumbsup: Only on an internet forum could I be told that I should worry about my relationship.
And Tegwyn, sssh will you, you must be scraping at the bottom of the barrell for that one. |
Re: Generic questions!
Originally Posted by Tegwyn
(Post 5575497)
LMAO!!!!! That's rich, really rich! :rofl::rofl: Remember my dear, those were your words. :p Enjoy your trip, you should be ....... just fine.:thumbsup:
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Re: Generic questions!
Originally Posted by Redlippie
(Post 5575474)
Let me see. Don't drive around at night if you can help it, and never alone in the car.
Don't walk around at night, ever. Never stop at a red light at night. Drive through. At any time of day or night, when you stop behind a car at a red light, leave a space in front of you, in case you have to make a quick getaway. Lock all doors and windows in the car. Never leave anything on the seats, whether back or front, and that includes your bag when you're driving, put it under your seat. When you arrive home, no matter what time, make sure there are not cars following you, if you think you're being followed, drive to the nearest shop, or police station. When you arrive at home, make sure there is no one waiting for you behind the gates, and that there are no loiterers in the street. Pull in as fast as you can, and get into the house, ensuring there is no one inside first. Open the security gate, then open the door, then lock the security gate, then lock the door. At night, make sure your 'rape gate' the gate between the lounge and the bedrooms, is locked. When you walk to your car after being in the shops, make sure you are not being followed, be aware at all times. Only get into the car if there is no one near you and lock it and drive off as quickly as possible. Just some of the things you'll be doing when you move there. |
Re: Generic questions!
Oh goodness, frankly not driving into 'no go' areas sounds like something I'd do without thinking, I had rather hoped that it might encourage folk here and stop all the stress!
I'm not really sure why my boyf even comes into this! I wanted the opinions of British expats on BritishExpats.com... Leave out the 'dears', I'm not one for the lame attempts at patronising, try to do that with what you write if I deserve taking down a peg or two, not little digs. |
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