dunroving

I'm really surprised. I dated a girl from NI (Castlewellan) and her biggest problem with Americans was that they all fell in love with her accent and wanted to talk about the "old country". They usually ended up being ignorant tossers, as you alluded to.

Interested in your statement about IRA comments, too. I have had some surprising conversations with otherwise educated Americans who think the IRA are the dog's bollocks (again, ignorant "old country" mentality).

I had my "Where you from? Do you pay taxes?" moments, too (I'm English), but thankfully very few and far between.

bigmattE

When i was in the US Army there was a guy from England and he lived in Tampa, Florida and has had a good experience of living in America. I just happened to get a bad one. As my wife says, we just live in a very narrow minded town. I just miss home so bad. We could use the money and move to Boston or a big diverse city, but it is just not worth it. I just need to go home where I belong. I miss my family and friends and home far to much. America has been a nightmare for us.

bigmattE

Oh dont get me wrong, i have met people who love my accent. Some girls have near fell over for it. Heck I managed to marry my wife. Course my good looks never hurt

Yes I have experienced many ignorant comments about the IRA. Often in the Army some officers would be idiots and threaten to tell the FBI i was a member of it. No idea how that would work since you have to under go many FBI background checks to get your green card and to even join the Army. Then I have met ones who love the IRA and thought since I am from Belfast that I must also love terrorism. Just ignorance. They were not there to see people killed or watch bombs explode, I was.

I really got the short end of the stick with this country. I know there are many many good people here. Just not my home. I just dont fit in and I have tried.

sallysimmons

And then say how much they hate terrorists in the same breath.

So many Americans "rah-rah" about bombing middle eastern countries that harbor people who fund terrorism but I bet they'd be none too happy if Britain had bombed Boston and New York back in the 70s.

dunroving

I think I can count on one hand the number of times I have heard an American or British politician refer to the IRA as an example of "terrorism".

I bit like using the term "Muslim extremist" over and over again in the news, but never "Catholic extremist" or "Christian extremist" ...

Derrygal

Wow - I am surprised - sorry about your experiences. I too am from Northern Ireland, although I left there 34 years ago (OMG - cannot believe it is that long). I have a bit of a mixed accent as I have been here over 20 years and lived in England before I came here. I find some people can tell my accent is Irish, others aren't quite sure and ask me where I'm from. Most people here, are friendly and want to chat and are fairly interested if you don't come from here. Yes, there are some uneducated, stupid people here and I have come across someone who thought London was in France (girl who shampoos hair in the salon I frequent). As for the comments about the IRA, a lot of Americans have an almost "romanticist" vision of Ireland struggling for freedom, etc. I have (on more than one occasion) mentioned that I had friends who were murdered by the IRA (and this is true). Hope things get better for you. It sounds like you're moving back in May. I think about going back a lot, but I have adult children and grand-children here so I'm not sure it will happen.

dunroving

the whole Irish thing is a very emotive subject, and I am certainly not a colonialist. However, I play devil's advocate pretty well. When my (highly educated) colleague wouldn't shut up about how the "English" and "Protestants" should get out of Ireland because they shouldn't have invaded it in the first place, I asked him whether on the same premise he thought that the "European-Americans" should get out of the US because it was stolen from the Native American Indians. "That's different" was of course his reply ...

MsElui

We came to the US because an opportunity landed in our laps - works sponsorship and all expenses paid. Couldnt refuse!

We have liked the place from day 1 and hope to stay a long time. I suspect that a lot of that is to do with our personalities - we were very open to adventure and change and have 'can do' attitudes, as well as the fact we ended up in Ohio - which is fairly similar to the UK in lots of ways and has less extremes like other parts of america. I worry about retiring here and healthcare costs but we can always fall back to the UK if necessary.

Life went off on a different tangent here - i gave up work to be a stay at home mum for 3.5 years and only recently returned to work. It was odd emailing my old manager asking him to be a referee for me - as he wrote something along the lines of ....mselui would undoubtably had been a senior manager by now had she stayed here... which made me have a small pang for opportunities lost but the role ive found recently is decent and the pay is actually better then what i was getting in the uk when i left - so its just 'different opportunities'.

We also had another child - that we simply could not have afforded back in the UK. I was paying 1700GBP for 2 kids in full time nursery in the UK - so couldnt afford another one - or to give up work. Im paying $475 a week for all three kids to be looked after in my home here so thats an improvement! We live a lot more comfortably here - with a larger house/more space/two cars - but have a LOT more worries/stress about the lack of backup/safety net/medical costs etc here. Driving isnt the chore it was in the UK. We have made some good freinds too - although i left a lot behind in the UK which i still miss.

so I dont regret it at all - just acknowledge it would have been a different life which is neither better or worse. The only thing I would change if i could would be to get my family to visit here (or us the visit there) more often but the costs stops that a bit.

sallysimmons

This sounds like us. We came because a company offered us an opportunity, adapted easily, and loved it. When people used to ask 'will you ever come back?' we'd laugh. No way!

But I've changed over the years. A combination of slowly opening my eyes to the 'money, money, money' nature of the US and realizing how far away we are from aging family.

Englishman43

Sounds like me to a "T".

bigmattE

Yeah the whole greed of America makes me sick. Who has the biggest house, the biggest car, all that nonsense. Just fake superficial rubbish. I think living here has made me really thankful for the good normal average people of Northern Ireland. I use to think life was all about money, when really family matters more than a stupid BMW or a fancy holiday. I am more than happy to go home and watch Eastenders after working all day and being with my young kids. Nothing beats Belfast city center on Christmas eve, the hustle and bustle , the music, the smell in the air. I love Northern Ireland. It is my home and can not wait for the 27th of May. I have lived here for near 4 years now and we are both 27. Life has not changed much since we left and we have all our friends and family on Facebook. So excited to go home. 11 more weeks.

Lorac05

This is my story exactly. No real regrets - but do wonder what would have happened to my life if I had stayed in the UK. Just glad to be getting ready to head home to the UK - the time is defintely right - hopefully very soon - just need the closing procedure on my condo to go smoothly

us4now

I always think the irony of life in U.S is that people have these big houses etc, but don't get to spend much time in them as they work long hours.
One of my friends here earns good money, as does her husband, but can only take one weeks vacation during summer (they save days for Thanksgiving etc) But you do have to ask yourself, what good is it having all this money and no free time to enjoy it?

johnh009

This one is the tough call that we all face. You have to weigh up the high costs of moving around against the life experiences you have. I went to South Africa and then Canada out of nothing more than a sense of adventure. I am now back in the UK. Would I have been better off staying in the UK? Who knows? If I had never taken the chance I would no doubt be sitting here regretting it.

One thing I did realise is that those who went to Canada after the war are those who did the best. As each subsequent decade passed, the lifestyle diminished to the point where the standard of living is now comparable with the UK, depending on what you do of course.

confusedenglishrose

Here is an unusual stance from me and I'm not spoiling for an argument but in reading the posts there is a common thread of dissatisfaction with the USA because of the big house, money syndrome. I know I'm the first one to criticize Americans because of it. But is it really fair?

On my recent trip back to the UK I noticed the same issues. Only when I was away from the big cities and living my life without thinking about other people, TV etc it was very different in a positive way. I think the same is true here. I know many Americans who spend there time wisely and 'drop out' so to speak choosing not to participate in the media frenzies and talking head TV culture. Also many who do not aspire to the ultimate suburbia of a 4 bed house, swimming pool, 2 car garage and clinically clean streets (without sidewalks of course).

What I am saying is that sometimes these feelings of dissatisfaction can be helped by a change in attitude. I find once I forget the pervading American culture which is quite horrendous. The place I am in begins to take on a completely different character, it even seems very nice! Yes I know its still there with the underlying issues, but so are the bad bits when I'm back in the UK. They have not gone away after 20 years so I don't expect them to any time soon. Just when I'm there I ignore or see through/ go through them ( for goodness sake Bruce Forsyth is still on TV!!!).

Missing the family is one part that cannot be solved this way I know but ....

Anyway just up for friendly debate on the issue while I ponder the same and similar issues myself