One Year in...
Apr 16th 2007, 10:04 am
#16
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Buderim, Qld, Australia
Posts: 1,072
Re: One Year in...
glad all has worked out for you, your first year sounds great. 
Lynn xx
Lynn xx
Apr 16th 2007, 10:05 am
#17
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 296
Re: One Year in...
Hi Ipom,
That's a wonderful post, glad to hear things are going well for you now. You talk a lot of sense, and have certainly helped me out in the past. Hugs and karma coming your way xxxxxxx
That's a wonderful post, glad to hear things are going well for you now. You talk a lot of sense, and have certainly helped me out in the past. Hugs and karma coming your way xxxxxxx
Apr 16th 2007, 10:35 am
#18
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2004
Location: Hills District
Posts: 1,399
Re: One Year in...
[quote=iPom;4648155]
I think that if you don't have a really good relationship, things can go awry here and it's a long way to come just to end up getting divorced....
IPOM, you have made a very good point, one which is very rarely touched on. Over the years I've seen a number of marriages that have floundered. Even if things go well from the start, over the first few years you only really have each other to get you through the inevitable stresses and strains of setting up in a new country, so a strong marriage is a must.
I think that if you don't have a really good relationship, things can go awry here and it's a long way to come just to end up getting divorced....
IPOM, you have made a very good point, one which is very rarely touched on. Over the years I've seen a number of marriages that have floundered. Even if things go well from the start, over the first few years you only really have each other to get you through the inevitable stresses and strains of setting up in a new country, so a strong marriage is a must.
Apr 16th 2007, 11:46 am
#21
ian
Joined: Oct 2005
Location: stirling scotland
Posts: 350
Re: One Year in...
Plain sailing? Nope. We haven't struggled financially, but our relationship came under fire for a while. I think I got very down about things and there were long standing issues from when we first married on both sides which are now being resolved with the help of a very good counsellor up the road and we're now very positive about our future.
I wouldn't recommend anyone coming here to think that a new move will sort their marriage... I wasn't thinking it would, but I thought it might make or break us - and it's the former.
I think that if you don't have a really good relationship, things can go awry here and it's a long way to come just to end up getting divorced....
The relationship stuff was there before we left though - I guess the life we've taken on here has forced us both to look carefully at ourselves.
In the few weeks before coming here, I spent many minutes going through the 'oh my god what are we doing?' highs and lows.... positive to negative swings but overall they were up, not down.
I guess the situation we'd left in the UK had been difficult for us - after the 9/11 tragedy, our business collapsed, a joint venture went under, clients dropped out owing us money and we spent two very uncomfortable years where some weeks it was difficult to even buy the groceries. There were a few occasions that we didn't eat so that the kids could, it was that bad.
Regardless of what we told my family, we got no help from them whatsoever. In the middle of this, I discovered we were expecting our third child, my health was terrible, my OH had a cancer scare which was a virus in disguise.... and then the baby arrived and we nearly didn't make it due to an abrupted placenta... and three weeks after that, the poor guy had viral meningitis so it was back to hospital.
And even then, my family didn't come to help, even though I'd asked my mother to come a few weeks before (I was desperate because I don't get on great with my mother so for me to ask was huge... ) but she couldn't come because she 'couldn't get the time off work'.. (A post office counter job in a village) I know what I would have done if my daughter asked me for help, but there we go.
So when people ask on here about why you left a good life in the UK for a fresh start, really, we had absolutely nothing to lose. Life had been shite and we'd spent a good couple of years climbing out of a massive hole... the things that happened in that time - ugh, it's too horrid to revisit. Seems like it was one thing after another... no money, health issues, car being broken into and a load of computer equipment being stolen, family who didn't really care in the way I wanted them to.... on and on it went.
So really, Fenton, when you say did I ever think it wasn't for me, there was really nothing lost by trying... We'd already lost it all and were trying to claw it back.
So in our year here, my children have come on in leaps and bounds. Their confidence is huge and their schooling is wonderful. They're stronger, more active and healthier than they were.
I'm healthier and have lost a lot of weight, I have a dog I walk, I bike and run... The sun is great - for someone with a slow thyroid, extra sun is a bonus.
We haven't found a house yet ... so we'll probably end up building. We were going to do that initially but we found the lovely Federation house and decided not to. Since that hasn't worked out, we're back to building again.
My OH is happier as he's back home near his family ... and they've been making an effort to be more social too, so everyone's winning. We're making friends, being sociable, going out, doing things as a family..
I never thought it wasn't for us.. though I did have the odd wobble in the first weeks, but I'd just get off my arse and go and do something nice to make me feel better.... let's face it, how could it ever get as bad as the UK got for us.
We had nothing to lose and everything to gain, so I think for the most part, things are working out that way, or that's the way we're making them go... master of your own destiny and all that.
[/FONT][/SIZE]
I wouldn't recommend anyone coming here to think that a new move will sort their marriage... I wasn't thinking it would, but I thought it might make or break us - and it's the former.
I think that if you don't have a really good relationship, things can go awry here and it's a long way to come just to end up getting divorced....
The relationship stuff was there before we left though - I guess the life we've taken on here has forced us both to look carefully at ourselves.
In the few weeks before coming here, I spent many minutes going through the 'oh my god what are we doing?' highs and lows.... positive to negative swings but overall they were up, not down.
I guess the situation we'd left in the UK had been difficult for us - after the 9/11 tragedy, our business collapsed, a joint venture went under, clients dropped out owing us money and we spent two very uncomfortable years where some weeks it was difficult to even buy the groceries. There were a few occasions that we didn't eat so that the kids could, it was that bad.
Regardless of what we told my family, we got no help from them whatsoever. In the middle of this, I discovered we were expecting our third child, my health was terrible, my OH had a cancer scare which was a virus in disguise.... and then the baby arrived and we nearly didn't make it due to an abrupted placenta... and three weeks after that, the poor guy had viral meningitis so it was back to hospital.
And even then, my family didn't come to help, even though I'd asked my mother to come a few weeks before (I was desperate because I don't get on great with my mother so for me to ask was huge... ) but she couldn't come because she 'couldn't get the time off work'.. (A post office counter job in a village) I know what I would have done if my daughter asked me for help, but there we go.
So when people ask on here about why you left a good life in the UK for a fresh start, really, we had absolutely nothing to lose. Life had been shite and we'd spent a good couple of years climbing out of a massive hole... the things that happened in that time - ugh, it's too horrid to revisit. Seems like it was one thing after another... no money, health issues, car being broken into and a load of computer equipment being stolen, family who didn't really care in the way I wanted them to.... on and on it went.
So really, Fenton, when you say did I ever think it wasn't for me, there was really nothing lost by trying... We'd already lost it all and were trying to claw it back.
So in our year here, my children have come on in leaps and bounds. Their confidence is huge and their schooling is wonderful. They're stronger, more active and healthier than they were.
I'm healthier and have lost a lot of weight, I have a dog I walk, I bike and run... The sun is great - for someone with a slow thyroid, extra sun is a bonus.
We haven't found a house yet ... so we'll probably end up building. We were going to do that initially but we found the lovely Federation house and decided not to. Since that hasn't worked out, we're back to building again.
My OH is happier as he's back home near his family ... and they've been making an effort to be more social too, so everyone's winning. We're making friends, being sociable, going out, doing things as a family..
I never thought it wasn't for us.. though I did have the odd wobble in the first weeks, but I'd just get off my arse and go and do something nice to make me feel better.... let's face it, how could it ever get as bad as the UK got for us.
We had nothing to lose and everything to gain, so I think for the most part, things are working out that way, or that's the way we're making them go... master of your own destiny and all that.
[/FONT][/SIZE]
My step mum wouldn't even come to see me the night I went into hospital with placenta previa, doctor telling me I could deliver at 26 weeks. I was scared shitless but of course she had to go to work the next day also. My little boy stayed at a neighbours house overnight.
I think friends are worth their weight in gold , family however are a different story you can't pick them. My mum died thirty years ago and I miss her every day, she will always be in my heart even when we go to Oz.
Cheers for that great read
I'm glad I'm not the only one.
Carol
Apr 16th 2007, 3:00 pm
#22
F*** it!
Joined: Feb 2006
Location: Stepford, WA
Posts: 958
Re: One Year in...
Wow, what an amazing journey you've been on. I take my hat off to you Mrs iPom. You have been through a living hell and now it's all fallen in to place.
I really feel for you with those parental problems you had to face. Now that you have your own family, I suppose the trick is to learn from your parents ****-ups.
You sound like a wonderful Mum, person and a foxy wife too (I've said that before somewhere haven't I?)
To your very good health me-dear!
I really feel for you with those parental problems you had to face. Now that you have your own family, I suppose the trick is to learn from your parents ****-ups.
You sound like a wonderful Mum, person and a foxy wife too (I've said that before somewhere haven't I?)
To your very good health me-dear!
Apr 16th 2007, 5:19 pm
#23
Account Closed
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 938
Re: One Year in...
Plain sailing? Nope. We haven't struggled financially, but our relationship came under fire for a while. I think I got very down about things and there were long standing issues from when we first married on both sides which are now being resolved with the help of a very good counsellor up the road and we're now very positive about our future.
I wouldn't recommend anyone coming here to think that a new move will sort their marriage... I wasn't thinking it would, but I thought it might make or break us - and it's the former.
I think that if you don't have a really good relationship, things can go awry here and it's a long way to come just to end up getting divorced....
The relationship stuff was there before we left though - I guess the life we've taken on here has forced us both to look carefully at ourselves.
In the few weeks before coming here, I spent many minutes going through the 'oh my god what are we doing?' highs and lows.... positive to negative swings but overall they were up, not down.
I guess the situation we'd left in the UK had been difficult for us - after the 9/11 tragedy, our business collapsed, a joint venture went under, clients dropped out owing us money and we spent two very uncomfortable years where some weeks it was difficult to even buy the groceries. There were a few occasions that we didn't eat so that the kids could, it was that bad.
Regardless of what we told my family, we got no help from them whatsoever. In the middle of this, I discovered we were expecting our third child, my health was terrible, my OH had a cancer scare which was a virus in disguise.... and then the baby arrived and we nearly didn't make it due to an abrupted placenta... and three weeks after that, the poor guy had viral meningitis so it was back to hospital.
And even then, my family didn't come to help, even though I'd asked my mother to come a few weeks before (I was desperate because I don't get on great with my mother so for me to ask was huge... ) but she couldn't come because she 'couldn't get the time off work'.. (A post office counter job in a village) I know what I would have done if my daughter asked me for help, but there we go.
So when people ask on here about why you left a good life in the UK for a fresh start, really, we had absolutely nothing to lose. Life had been shite and we'd spent a good couple of years climbing out of a massive hole... the things that happened in that time - ugh, it's too horrid to revisit. Seems like it was one thing after another... no money, health issues, car being broken into and a load of computer equipment being stolen, family who didn't really care in the way I wanted them to.... on and on it went.
So really, Fenton, when you say did I ever think it wasn't for me, there was really nothing lost by trying... We'd already lost it all and were trying to claw it back.
So in our year here, my children have come on in leaps and bounds. Their confidence is huge and their schooling is wonderful. They're stronger, more active and healthier than they were.
I'm healthier and have lost a lot of weight, I have a dog I walk, I bike and run... The sun is great - for someone with a slow thyroid, extra sun is a bonus.
We haven't found a house yet ... so we'll probably end up building. We were going to do that initially but we found the lovely Federation house and decided not to. Since that hasn't worked out, we're back to building again.
My OH is happier as he's back home near his family ... and they've been making an effort to be more social too, so everyone's winning. We're making friends, being sociable, going out, doing things as a family..
I never thought it wasn't for us.. though I did have the odd wobble in the first weeks, but I'd just get off my arse and go and do something nice to make me feel better.... let's face it, how could it ever get as bad as the UK got for us.
We had nothing to lose and everything to gain, so I think for the most part, things are working out that way, or that's the way we're making them go... master of your own destiny and all that.
[/FONT][/SIZE]
I wouldn't recommend anyone coming here to think that a new move will sort their marriage... I wasn't thinking it would, but I thought it might make or break us - and it's the former.
I think that if you don't have a really good relationship, things can go awry here and it's a long way to come just to end up getting divorced....
The relationship stuff was there before we left though - I guess the life we've taken on here has forced us both to look carefully at ourselves.
In the few weeks before coming here, I spent many minutes going through the 'oh my god what are we doing?' highs and lows.... positive to negative swings but overall they were up, not down.
I guess the situation we'd left in the UK had been difficult for us - after the 9/11 tragedy, our business collapsed, a joint venture went under, clients dropped out owing us money and we spent two very uncomfortable years where some weeks it was difficult to even buy the groceries. There were a few occasions that we didn't eat so that the kids could, it was that bad.
Regardless of what we told my family, we got no help from them whatsoever. In the middle of this, I discovered we were expecting our third child, my health was terrible, my OH had a cancer scare which was a virus in disguise.... and then the baby arrived and we nearly didn't make it due to an abrupted placenta... and three weeks after that, the poor guy had viral meningitis so it was back to hospital.
And even then, my family didn't come to help, even though I'd asked my mother to come a few weeks before (I was desperate because I don't get on great with my mother so for me to ask was huge... ) but she couldn't come because she 'couldn't get the time off work'.. (A post office counter job in a village) I know what I would have done if my daughter asked me for help, but there we go.
So when people ask on here about why you left a good life in the UK for a fresh start, really, we had absolutely nothing to lose. Life had been shite and we'd spent a good couple of years climbing out of a massive hole... the things that happened in that time - ugh, it's too horrid to revisit. Seems like it was one thing after another... no money, health issues, car being broken into and a load of computer equipment being stolen, family who didn't really care in the way I wanted them to.... on and on it went.
So really, Fenton, when you say did I ever think it wasn't for me, there was really nothing lost by trying... We'd already lost it all and were trying to claw it back.
So in our year here, my children have come on in leaps and bounds. Their confidence is huge and their schooling is wonderful. They're stronger, more active and healthier than they were.
I'm healthier and have lost a lot of weight, I have a dog I walk, I bike and run... The sun is great - for someone with a slow thyroid, extra sun is a bonus.
We haven't found a house yet ... so we'll probably end up building. We were going to do that initially but we found the lovely Federation house and decided not to. Since that hasn't worked out, we're back to building again.
My OH is happier as he's back home near his family ... and they've been making an effort to be more social too, so everyone's winning. We're making friends, being sociable, going out, doing things as a family..
I never thought it wasn't for us.. though I did have the odd wobble in the first weeks, but I'd just get off my arse and go and do something nice to make me feel better.... let's face it, how could it ever get as bad as the UK got for us.
We had nothing to lose and everything to gain, so I think for the most part, things are working out that way, or that's the way we're making them go... master of your own destiny and all that.
[/FONT][/SIZE]
Great post. Karma sent
Apr 16th 2007, 6:43 pm
#24
Living the Dream!
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Cleveland
Posts: 6,515
Re: One Year in...
OMG! ipom I'd no idea you had been through so much before you got to Oz. I am so pleased for you that things have gone from strength to strength for you and your family! Long may it continue! 
Jackie x
Jackie x
Apr 16th 2007, 6:53 pm
#25
Former Resident Visa
Joined: Nov 2005
Location: Mornington Peninsula
Posts: 2,887
Re: One Year in...
I'd got my pick and mix out and was devistated.....
But you did us proud! Lovely, honest, open post ipom.
Thanks for sharing.
J x
But you did us proud! Lovely, honest, open post ipom.
Thanks for sharing.
J x
Apr 17th 2007, 12:57 am
#26
Account Closed
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 10,158
Re: One Year in...
Thanks everyone.
I guess the past shapes the person you become... so for all the shite we went through, there were lessons learned there too...
There are always choices.
I guess the past shapes the person you become... so for all the shite we went through, there were lessons learned there too...
There are always choices.
Apr 17th 2007, 1:09 am
#27
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: Beyond the Pale
Posts: 963
Re: One Year in...
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY iPOM!!
Glad to hear your life has turned around so positively
cheers!
shears x
Glad to hear your life has turned around so positively
cheers!
shears x
Apr 17th 2007, 1:14 am
#28
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: Beyond the Pale
Posts: 963
Re: One Year in...
"WEBGUM: Two years yesterday - flown by.......Happy for the moment, but may need to tweek the location a tad. Life is certainly good."
... and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to all the thread-jackers
... and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to all the thread-jackers
Last edited by shears; Apr 17th 2007 at 1:18 am.
Apr 17th 2007, 6:43 am
#29
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: Sydney
Posts: 372
Re: One Year in...
Good for you Ipom
I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you guys moving to a country so far away, and often from your families- but it sounds as though it was worth it for you! I've only moved interstate and to NZ (almost Oz! Though I'm sure the Kiwis wouldn't like me saying that!) and I found that challenging enough.
I hope the rest of your time here is fulfilling and as enjoyable as you want it to be.
I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you guys moving to a country so far away, and often from your families- but it sounds as though it was worth it for you! I've only moved interstate and to NZ (almost Oz! Though I'm sure the Kiwis wouldn't like me saying that!) and I found that challenging enough.
I hope the rest of your time here is fulfilling and as enjoyable as you want it to be.
Apr 17th 2007, 7:22 am
#30
Look at moi!!!
Joined: Jan 2006
Location: Magnolia, TX
Posts: 2,762
Re: One Year in...
Great to hear that things are going well for you and your OH again - always wondered after your thread a while back. Good on ya.
Karma sent
Lou
xx
Karma sent
Lou
xx