cezmay

he is not sure as solar isnt as big in uk, but im sure he will find something, he loves the out doors and his best friend is a tree surgergon so maybe something in that area might interest him, he would love some real out door work i think. i must go my little man has woken up. would love to keep in touch with you and see how things are going, bye for now. love and peace xxx

Fleaflyfloflum

I am always here. Look forward to heairng from you. Have a good day

Anne-Marie Wickham

Hi
I have a question for London cabbie. (sorry, i don't know how to post original thread)
Do not really have time to learn, as I use a friends computer. If I am able to get myself back to England - i will have to decide where i should go.
I want to go within train distance of London, but do not wish to return to South East London - (Was the reason why I left originally, to try and make a better life)
I would like to come back to the Essex area - Maybe Brentwood? I know the stereotype of Essex, i don't believe in stereotypes.
My children have been in Germany since they were 1, 2 & 16. They are very polite, sweet children (maybe not the 16yr old) but they have all led sheltered lives since living in Germany. Easy, country life, where everyone is really friendly. I want to move far enough out of London, to be able to retain a little of this.
Am I being too hopeful. when thinking about Brentwood, should I be looking even further out.
I won't have a car, and my childrens grandparent lives in Hornchurch -
I am only asking as you would probably have an insight into London suburbs and could give me a clue as to where I could head for.
If I am able to return, i will only get 1 opportunity to choose where to move to...until i can establish myself (as i am on my own, that maybe a few years..if ever) so the choice is very important to me.
Can u, or any other person with a valid opinion help?

Thanks for your advice so far people (particulary the army SServices (although i am a civilian , with no military connections at all - haven't tried yet, but will update - for others who may be in my situation - God forbid not)

Anne-Marie

Anne-Marie Wickham

Hi Dingbat, just thought i'd up date you on progress so far! I contacted ssafa - no joy. I am a civilian and I have no serving family members. (although i would not know this, as i was in local authority care from the age of 2 - however if any member of my family had served even 1 day - i would have been eligible for help)
I have contacted Gingerbread (lone parents help, and other charity organisations) my problem is , I do not live in England, so they are resticted by that.
I was advised to try British Embassy - what a joke. After being pushed from pillar to post at least 6 times, i was put through to David Kelly - Vice Consul. Having to recount my woeful tale from 5 millionth time with some comapssion is hard enough. having listened to my tale - David Kelly told me, sorry we don't fly people home anymore - but we can get in touch with a relative who can send you money via Western Union. I asked about 5 times in 5 different ways - are you sure that is all you can do, explained i was familyless etc - no joy. Like a mechanical macine he reiterated to each question the same answer.
I was extremly stressed and my voice rose octaves by the minute. I asked to speak to his superior as maybe there was information he was not aware of. after all, i thought thier remit was to help Brits abroad. If he could not help with financial advice , maybe could he point me in the right direction as to someone who could, or be provided with a plane ticket, or something.... no , and as i as raising my voice he would have to terminate my call - very convenient.
I calmed down enough to ask if he could give me his name (to which he refused firstly, and then reluctantly gave. I asked for his superior to which he told me 'You can'y get any higher than me, I am the Vice Consul.
At this point I had to laugh..... I said,'Your the Vice Consul, and the only advice you can give me, is that you can contact relatives and accept Western Union payments, and that is the extent of your knowledge.
He told me, 'You don't need to be sarcastic, that is the only advice i can give you',
In this mans eyes I am banished to a life of homeless poverty, in a country where i can't even claim benefits, becasue i don't speak German and all because i dont have any relatives.
Its crap - i have lost count of how many people particulary German , him being the first Brit, who has told me "its ur fault for going to Germany, your husband is responsible for you , not us"
I can't even get p***** off anymore, i have no power for it, i just want to get home.
So please if any one has any other ideas, i'm listening.
Good News - Worthing Borough Council are willing to re-house me,........if I can ever get there.
Onwards & upwards.
Anne-Marie

Kath & Graham

I know it sounds really silly but cant you take out some kind of loan in Germany, just enough for flights back and a bit for a few nights in a hostel? Tell them its for home improvements or summin and use the money to get back to UK and then try and pay bit by bit back that way? I know he left you with debts but bugger it, why should you have to stay and pay it back!!!

I was in a womans refuge for a couple of years sometime ago and Im sure even though you were not physically abused they might put you up for a while. Do a search on google and you should be able to see some social services numbers in the area you want to move to who can put you in touch with Womens Refuge, Im sure they will help you out temporarily.

Good luck

Kath xx

hitchw

moved back after growing up in spain and after 2 years here would never go back...love it, love the cold, love the doom and gloom, love the misery in everyones faces...im a sado masochist...well,not really but i do love this country and barring a huge lottery win or inheritance from a long lost relative i shall die here.

dunroving

That's interesting - although you love it here, if you had enough cash, you'd live elsewhere?

Bevm

"In this mans eyes I am banished to a life of homeless poverty, in a country where i can't even claim benefits, becasue i don't speak German and all because i dont have any relatives."

Ann-Marie, you say you have German friends. Will none of them go to local offices with you to see if there's help available? Some government department might have access to money to help you get home. Social services are often keen to get people in need off somewhere else.

Bev

Jules Europe

Presumably back in Marbella

Anne-Marie Wickham

Hi Kath,
I really have tried everyhting. I cannot get a loan over here, because my husband ran up so many bills, he didn't pay his taxes either and that meand our name is blacklisted and sent to the Scaefer (credit agency)
I stayed in a womans refuge in kasierslautern for 2 months when it all happened, but i have a 16 year old son who wasn't allowed to stay with me, because of his age. I felt to guilty letting him stay with friends, as you can imagine he already feels that it was all my fault that we ended up like this because i didn't leave him before. You know kids , they don't really understand the gravity of the situation and how hard it is to make a massive decison like that.

Thank sfor the suggestion though - Anne-Marie

Anne-Marie Wickham

Bev,
Don't ever get stranded in a country where you can't speak the language. My eldest son speaks German and on a few occasions i took him with me to Social Security interviews (WE both understand German, but he can speak also) They informed me that this was not allowed as he was not a registered interpreter, and might relay the information back incorrectly. On one occasion they handed me a letter which was written one side German other side English.
The letter basically said the German was the mother tongue language of Germany and that i did not speak it to a sufficent level of understanding - Please return with an interpreter.
I cannot afford to do this. They are so rude and cruel, i have been too worn down by them. at one point Balliffs were coming reguary to my door, i was advised by my neighbour to register as an insolvent as i would never be able to pay the money back. I tried to do this at the town hall (waited 3 months for an interview) he was well aware i did not speak German and waited untill i turned for my interview - ansd then told me he could not help me as i dont speak the language.
I refused to leave and sat there. IN the end it took 3 german men employees to try and very physically remove me and i screamed blue murder - there was nothing else i could do. Damnded if i do, damded if i dont. I though at least if the police come - somebody will have to listen to me. Social Services smight get involved, Eventually the Balliff ( who works in the same building and speaks English) came and took me to another room and explained it was best if I left , becasue if the police wre to come and remove me, I could be arrested, and liable to pay a fine for disruption. Just what i need - not!

No , I am resourceful and not stupid (i don't know if i am tolerated less because i am black - i would like to think not, but....
There is no help here, i have walked the streets , approached every government office, and am mentally and physically exhausted.
i have posted a bid for financial help on People Aid and i am just praying something will come right or keep trying.

Thats why i am trying to post my story on as many relevant sites a spossible - something must come right.
Anne-Marie

BristolUK

Contrast this with local and national government offices in the UK where the minimum will likely be information in a variety of languages.

Job Centre staff are instructed to call an interpretation service immediately at cost to the department and they will also pay for an interpreter if one is needed at interview.

Cape Blue

Good to see the Brits doing something more efficiently and comprehensively than the Germans for once

dingbat

So sorry, it was a long shot. I found this site. My German is poor, but I can read enough to know there may be information about benefits on here somewhere...

http://www.familien-wegweiser.de/bmf...did=93506.html

The kids grandparents in Hornchurch you mentioned, why can't they/won't they pre-pay coach or train tickets for you? If you were in Kasierslautern, you are near-ish to Luxembourg and then Belgium. Getting back to the UK from there is not that expensive. It might be worth swallowing your pride and asking them for a few Euro's.

http://www.refuge.org.uk/page_l1-3_l2-235_l3-242_.htm
These people are a mine of information and I have called them for help with re-pat situations before. I know they are back in London, but they may have some idea how you can get back cheaply from Germany.

There are reciprocal arrangements between international Social Service depts, despite what they might tell you. It might be worth talking to a social worker at West Sussex CC, emphasising that you have kids and that you cannot meet their basic needs, having been abandoned by your husband in Germany. Explain that the language barrier is putting your kids at risk through no fault of your own. See what they suggest. I am out of the loop about re-pats to the UK from the EU, but I have done a few from here when families fell on hard times. It was hard work getting the SW in the UK to actually do something, but I kept bugging them until they did.

We have a referral service for ex kids in care; I don't know how old you are, but might be also worth looking at the care authority who looked after you. See if they can help, because of your kids.

Don't bank on Worthing CC re-housing you btw. There is a priority waitlist, and you have been non resident in the area.

Best of luck.

cricket1again

My advice might sound a bit harsh but I've been in a similar situation to you so it is intended to help not judge you.

Reading your posts, you've got to get your mind out of 'victim' mode. I know that's hard when you've been treated so badly and let down but these are things you can't change so there's no point dwelling on what caused your situation. That's the first thing. By not allowing yourself to feel victimised, you'll immediately empower yourself.

Secondly, you're talking to the wrong people. If they can't understand you, talk to someone who can. Get on the phone to social services in the UK and pester them until you get some answers and advice. You have children, I believe under UK law, they have to help you.

Once in the UK, you are entitled to help.

OK, next thing I notice is that you seem to be making a lot of excuses for still being in Germany. Is it possible you're afraid to leave in case you make your situation worse? If so, ask yourself, can it get any worse?

You've clearly got access to the internet so if I was in your situation, I'd be on the phone to social services to see what can be done. I hope this helps.