heart sinking day
Nov 7th 2008, 7:21 pm
#16
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jun 2008
Location: Back in the UK after 12 years in Australia
Posts: 579
Re: heart sinking day
Feel for you matey, and don't worry you can whinge on this part of the forum, the odd weird one that loves the new country (or hasn't been yet!) strays on here sometimes but mostly it's a safehouse!
6 months is not really long enough for your wife and kids to know that they love it IMO, like any major life change it takes at least a year for reality to sink in (ie major milestones, like birthday, christmas, weddings funerals etc).
By the sounds they are still in the honeymoon phase, and may feel differently once they have missed some family stuff back home in the UK, and at least you have not bought a house there so have no major ties should you decide to return.
In the meantime can you look around for a better job or is it impossible to get anything decent in your part of Canada?
6 months is not really long enough for your wife and kids to know that they love it IMO, like any major life change it takes at least a year for reality to sink in (ie major milestones, like birthday, christmas, weddings funerals etc).
By the sounds they are still in the honeymoon phase, and may feel differently once they have missed some family stuff back home in the UK, and at least you have not bought a house there so have no major ties should you decide to return.
In the meantime can you look around for a better job or is it impossible to get anything decent in your part of Canada?
Nov 8th 2008, 7:20 pm
#17
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jun 2007
Location: South Island NZ
Posts: 527
Re: heart sinking day
It is good to know that someone somewhere, even in cyberspace, can empathise. It is an even more difficult situation because you cannot talk to anyone around about it since part of the problem is my discomfort in Canada. Telling anyone this & it just brings on more grief and isolation, so best keep quiet about it and hope for sunnier days.
Doing what I want means leaving the three wonderful kids we have and that would break me I think.
Doing what I want means leaving the three wonderful kids we have and that would break me I think.
Cheers
Cally
Nov 9th 2008, 2:57 pm
#18
Account Closed
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 79
Re: heart sinking day
I know how you feel, we have been in Canada 5 1/2 months and I wake up most mornings feeling that same way...
And the thought of xmas here saddens me also. What does cheer me up is the 'planning' we are now doing to get back 'home'...
We don't regret doing this one bit, as it has opened our eyes to what we were 'ignoring' in good old England.
Good luck to you, and hope you feel more positive very soon.
And the thought of xmas here saddens me also. What does cheer me up is the 'planning' we are now doing to get back 'home'...
We don't regret doing this one bit, as it has opened our eyes to what we were 'ignoring' in good old England.
Good luck to you, and hope you feel more positive very soon.
Nov 9th 2008, 4:28 pm
#19
Just hanging around
Joined: May 2008
Location: Back in England
Posts: 1,447
Re: heart sinking day
I'd have liked the Ontario winter if it had started at Dec 15th and ended January 15th.
I have a good recipe for mincemeat if you want it. The stuff they sell here isn't right at all, IMO. It's sloppy, too sweet, and usually reeks of cinnamon. Getting proper suet can be tricky. The powdered stuff doesn't work right.
Bev
Nov 11th 2008, 8:47 am
#20
Éireann go Brách
Joined: Mar 2006
Location: White Man in Hammersmith Palais
Posts: 2,932
Re: heart sinking day
I feel for you. I never *hated* Canada when I was out there, but I know the feeling about the jobs and feeling that Canada is somewhat backward in many ways. I also know about missing the old life. (I also know I risk being attacked by the Canada-lovers and those who could make it work for them).
The thing is that different people find different places to be suitable to their circumstances. Sadly, Canada did not suit us - and we are happy to have gone home on a whole. Me more than hubby, who is very happy to be back in the UK (but would prefer not to be in London-town but closer to his family).
Of course, given that your family would like to stay and you are in the "minority" with your feelings about wanting to go back, it is really difficult. Can your family live on the wage you are making or is it really hard to make ends meet? Are there any progression chances down the line for you? I suppose there should always be, but believe me, we had to go back as we could not afford living on what we were making and our funds ran out! Do you think if the wage problem was sorted out, you would still "hate" Canada? The whole feeling of Canada being a backwards place - some people actually like the slower pace of things and perhaps you'd learn to love it of the money was right? I know I did not really enjoy it, personally, but I understand why people would... .
Most people say you need to give it at least a year, but I don't necessarily subscribe to that view as it all depends on who you are and your individual circumstances. But given that your family seems to be happy in Canada (though you don't indicate how strong their feelings are about not returning), I suppose you do need to give it more time. But perhaps it is worth sitting down and setting that deadline to review the situation, especially if you can't really see any way out of the pay-situation and need more to survive.
Good luck with whatever you decide... I am not sure how much this will help you, but I hope by now you feel a little less down than when you first posted.
The thing is that different people find different places to be suitable to their circumstances. Sadly, Canada did not suit us - and we are happy to have gone home on a whole. Me more than hubby, who is very happy to be back in the UK (but would prefer not to be in London-town but closer to his family).
Of course, given that your family would like to stay and you are in the "minority" with your feelings about wanting to go back, it is really difficult. Can your family live on the wage you are making or is it really hard to make ends meet? Are there any progression chances down the line for you? I suppose there should always be, but believe me, we had to go back as we could not afford living on what we were making and our funds ran out! Do you think if the wage problem was sorted out, you would still "hate" Canada? The whole feeling of Canada being a backwards place - some people actually like the slower pace of things and perhaps you'd learn to love it of the money was right? I know I did not really enjoy it, personally, but I understand why people would... .
Most people say you need to give it at least a year, but I don't necessarily subscribe to that view as it all depends on who you are and your individual circumstances. But given that your family seems to be happy in Canada (though you don't indicate how strong their feelings are about not returning), I suppose you do need to give it more time. But perhaps it is worth sitting down and setting that deadline to review the situation, especially if you can't really see any way out of the pay-situation and need more to survive.
Good luck with whatever you decide... I am not sure how much this will help you, but I hope by now you feel a little less down than when you first posted.
Where in London did you end up?
