MDD

It looks like we are moving back to the uk after living in nz for over ten years. For the past 3-4 years I have been really homesick and would spend hours looking at things on the internet, in fact I had to come off here and rightmove at the request of DH as he thought it was unsettling and I promised to throw myself into enjoying things here. Recently some very close friends have let us know they are moving back, who were always NZ zealots and I made the comment that everyone of my close friends have left. DH then took upon himself that we were leaving and found himself a job in Bath, it initially looked like he might not be able to as he works in defence and needed security clearance and supposed to have lived in Uk for last 5 yrs, but then MOD just came back and said they would clear him, so good to go.
However really not sure it's a good idea, it's one thing to say it, but the horror stories are really off putting. I work in health and have built up a good reputation, been in senior roles and currently working from home, as well as doing some freelance work researching and teaching for uni, which has meant life been a lot easier. We live in a good area, with good schools and have a friend who works at the local high school and said the things the kids get up to and think is naughty is hilarious in comparison to when he was teaching in the uk. We would be bringing our three who are 12, 8 and 6 and I would be worried about how they would cope, they are really not street wise.
However the work opportunities for DH here are really ltd, he hates his job and this would be a good opportunity for him. Our kids are growing up away from most of their family and have been missing out and would have opportunities they don't get here being so small. DH parents live in bath so we can live with them and look at buying their house.
So pluses and minuses for both and feeling really torn. He might have to go quite quickly , leaving me to sort everything which isn't a nice thought either.

BEVS

Hey you.
Just passing on by and spotted you might be off.
As you know we have also been in NZ for over ten years and the jury is still out for me. Will I stay or will I go. or should that be

Did you all take up NZ citizenship in the end? We did.

I do think a move back to the UK can be far more traumatising in a way that the initial move to a new country so I am not surprised you feel concern.

Just like with the NZ forum, or any of the forums TBH , you'll get the utopia & the horror stories. Don't let either end of the scale put you off or pull the wool.

I'm sure you'll come to the best decision for you and your family .

Hopefully there will be someone in the Bath area that will pop along.

for you. I shall be interested to follow your journey, regardless of whether you return to the UK or remain in NZ.

regards
BEVS

Sally Redux

Bath seems like a great place although I don't know it well.

We have been back in the UK a month after 9 years in Los Angeles.

We feel very positive so far although of course it's early days.

My son is 21 and stayed in the US. My daughter is 18. So a different stage with the kids. Your 12-year-old might find the transition a little hard, as my son did going the other way.

I don't know about the streetwise aspect. LA is kind of weird so not a good comparison to NZ.

Anyway, have to get to bed now but just wanted to reassure you somewhat if you do decide to go.

Tirytory

I think you're always bound to have doubts. I suppose it's the curse of actually having the balls to move to another country, there's always what if's. But Bath is lovely, you'd have your family around you. Your husband would be happy with his job and you have been homesick. Don't let horror stories put you off. The UK really isn't that bad at all and while I admit it might be difficult to get your foot in the door in the health care profession, once you're in you'll be fine. I thought the UK was light yrs ahead of NZ in terms of health care- yrs behind etc?

The children will be fine although since I worry so much about making decisions that affect them I can only say that in theory!!

Would your husband even want to stay now?

MDD

Thank you so much for you reassuring comments, it really helps to know how others feel.
I did say to DH that wasn't sure it was a good idea and he kept pushing back and saying oh you know you want to go, you've always wanted to, so I said yes but really not sure it's a good idea, just because heart feels like it, plus I've always been someone who gets a bit restless. He then said well if we stay I don't know what I will do about work as there is only his place that does what he does and he is worried about his parents who are getting older and they visited at Xmas, but his dad had a stroke on the way home, which they said is likely from long haul flight, so can't visit again. So I suppose it makes sense in some ways. It just seems silly to give up a comfortable lifestyle for the unknown. Plus everyone says the nhs is terrible to work in, it's always been a bit of a thankless no win job at times, but friends say it's awful, really high expectations, massive case loads, responsibility and low wage, so not sure I want to work in that.
I am sure the kids will be fine in lots of ways, because there are lots here that are a nightmare, but as much as they drive me round the bend they are good kids, with good manners. I suppose it's just worrying putting them through a hard time unnecessarily.
Oh dear it's very confusing if it was just the two of us I think it wouldn't bother me.

Tirytory

I used to work for the NHS before I left for Canada in January. I miss my job, and the camaraderie with my colleagues. I see those posts on fb about how bad it is blah blah but I didn't feel that way. I still think the NHS is bloomin marvellous compared to other countries. Maybe I was protected as I worked in a specialist department and yes it's hard work and short staffed, but I wouldn't have swapped it.

The part about your heart saying yes resonates with me... I have decided to go with my head but really that's because I've only been here 9 months so I can't be sure my heart can be trusted!

MDD

Thanks Tirytory, that's really reassuring. I must admit I wasn't exactly impressed with the work here when I first came, but you just get used to it after awhile. However I loved my job in the uk, it just seemed much more innovative and interesting. However everyone says it's not the same. I know what you mean about the NHS though, as much as it's been spoilt in recent years, it still is great that people have access to free healthcare. We do here in NZ, although not for GP, and we are told to keep things with primary care, for very good reasons, but very difficult when we are telling them to go when around here it's around 25 pounds a visit. It has it's good and bad parts to that, you can almost always get an appt on the same day, but people don't go unless they really have to, which lots of people say it's much better, but actually they ignore things they shouldn't, including me, and it's not even like we can't afford it, I just would rather not pay it until feel dying and then find out it's pneumonia. People do that with children here, and that's partly responsible for really high rheumatic fever here (as well as damp overcrowding living that is common). It also means that A & E is full of people who should be with a GP but they can't afford it.
I know what you mean about giving it a good go, I think your right you need to give it time to see if it settles down and then if it doesn't then at least you know you gave it a good go and got a good adventure.
I didn't really feel too homesick for the first few years as I think at that point I just thought it was fun, then around four years ago I started to think, do I really want to grow old and die here. Also once the shine starts to wear off, as it does any where and it's the daily grind, you just start to think I could be doing this any where why am doing it so far away.

quoll

The market is all out of crystal balls unfortunately but if you approach this move with the mindset that nothing is forever you should be fine! Bath is a lovely part of the country and I would live there in a heartbeat. Your kids will be fine - it's not all doom and gloom! However if you give it a go and decide it isn't floating your boat then you've moved before, you can do it again! There will, undoubtedly, be days when you think "OMG What have I done?" - we all have them, even those of us who have made the right move! When something is going not quite right we will always compare the bad of the now with the good of the then and the past will always win but give it a go and see! You're starting from a good base with a job offer!

Good Luck!

Pollyana

Bath is an amazing place. If and when I move back it will either be to Brighton or Bath. My family live just outside, my elder niece works in the city, my younger one attends an amzingly good school there which seems to focus on developing teenagers as people, with interests, hobbies, good careers. Very happy with it and her traditional school subjects are doing well too!
Bath has excellent transport links and a pretty good local bus service too, beautiful sights, amazing pubs and cafes and touristy stuff, yet it isn't trashy. I know it has its dark side, my brother was part of that so I am well aware of it, but it truly is a lovely place to be, in a beautiful part of the country.

chris955

As others have said Bath is a lovely area, it is my wifes hometown. Please dont get sucked into the doom and gloom horror stories, we wouldnt have bought our (then) 11 year olds here if it was even a fraction as bad as some would have us believe. They love it here and at least currently have no desire to return to Australia.

Spacecake799

We moved our 13 year old back to a totally new area for us in the UK. We had been in NZ 6 years. One of our older children finished year 13 there then went back to sixth form college and did A'levels. Our 13 yr old has been absolutely fine. We have been very lucky and he is very happy.
Good luck

Evolve2013

We returned with our 2 girls 12 and 14 two years ago after spending 8 years in NZ. The eldest went straight into GCSE's and came out with 4A* and 5A's. Even though I was desperate to return to NZ I was really surprised that it took a lot of time and energy to settle back in Uk again as so much had changed and was so used to doing everything the kiwi way (so be prepared for this) There will no doubt be a transition period for the children and they will miss their friends, but children adapt so quickly and will be the main attraction at school with their kiwi accents so new friendships soon develop. It would seem that you have much to come home for. There are always gains and losses in whichever country you are living but you will know in your heart of hearts where you really want to be. Good luck

Evolve2013

Ooops it should have read "even though I was desperate to return to the UK"

Novocastrian

You're not alone in that opinion.

I think this Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, 2014 Update: How the U.S. Health Care System Compares Internationally - The Commonwealth Fund may interest you.

Note where Canada comes in the ranking.

Tirytory

Thanks Novo, my husband it turns out had already seen this and feels he can really see why Canada is ranked as it is. Trouble is a lot of UK peeps are pretty ungrateful for the perceived failings of the NHS so all they can do is grumble about how bad it is etc etc.