morayeel

Hi
I am thinking of leaving the U.S to be a carer for my mum. I have been thinking of leaving the U.S for a while. I am struggling here financially. Work 2 part time jobs, no health insurance etc. I am in my 50's married, but that is rocky. My mum asked if I would be interested in being her carer as she is now in receipt of attendance allowance. Has anyone done this? Thanks for any advice.

Jerseygirl

Not sure I understand what you are asking. You are a British and are entitled to return home to care for your mother.

morayeel

sorry I am was not clear. I have some concerns about missing my grown daughter and grandkids.. I am also going to take my 2 dogs if I decide to do this. I just wondered if anyone had left their grown kids and grandkids and just felt so lost without them!!It will be a huge change for me. Some good and some bad..

rebeccajo

If you are asking if you can go back to look after Mum and draw carer's allowance, the answer is yes. But read here first:

https://www.gov.uk/carers-allowance/overview

Sally Redux

Possibly morayeel can be employed as the carer? Sorry I don't know, it looks like a possibility:

https://www.gov.uk/attendance-allowance/what-youll-get

edit: didn't see Rebecca's post.

rebeccajo

Attendance allowance is what Mum is getting. Carer's allowance is what morayeel could get. Is that what you meant?

RICH

It sounds like the question is geared at the emotional aspects of leaving US life behind? I have no experience to add.

Sally Redux

Yes. I was thinking perhaps her mum was going to use the attendance allowance to pay her. I don't actually know how it all works.

Sally Redux

I will be leaving my son in US college but it sounds like morayeel is much more bedded into US life than that.

Possibly the healthcare exchanges could be helpful if you did stay?

Rocky marriage sounds a bit of a worry. Would your husband come too?

rebeccajo

Yeah, morayeel answered Jerseygirl while I was writing about the benefits.

rebeccajo

The healthcare exchanges are a bit 'gappy' when it comes to working people who earn a low wage.

A lot of it depends on which state you live in. In states that are participating in Medicaid expansion (and many are not) the new higher income allowances will help people get on Medicaid for no cost.

If you earn too much to qualify for expanded Medicaid, then you go to the exchange for coverage. Some states have more choice for coverage than others. It just depends on the number of insurance companies participating in the exchange (if more companies participate, there is more competition and premiums will be more varied). In my state, there are only two insurers participating. The cheapest coverage is around $350 per month. That's not terribly affordable for a low earner.

Jerseygirl

Thanks...I have read back through your posts and thought there was more.

I thought your daughter and grandchildren were also going to live in the UK. There is no doubt about it...it is very difficult to live kids/grandchildren behind. It seems that your back is a little against the wall in the US...so maybe returning to look after your mum would be a good idea. You can always visit your daughter and she can visit you,

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

rebeccajo

I am sitting on this PC, writing in this thread and trying to chat online to my adult son (26) who now lives 180 miles away from me.

He's not really got a lot to say. He's a grown man now with his own life. Hurts some, but I think that's the way nature intended.

I don't believe we can live our lives for other people, even if they are family. We won't be happy that way and we will just end up resentful. Probably better some distance and affection, than so close we are smothered.

morayeel

thanks so very much for everyones responses. Very helpful. Leaving my daughter and grandchildren would be difficult, but they have their own lives to lead. My husband, well, long story!! he would like to move to the U.K but we don't have the money needed for that. If I decide to go we will remain friends. In the U.S I am struggling to survive and I will struggle in the U.K, but without the worry of affording to see a doctor and pay for my lab work. I have a condition that requires blood work every few months..I am going to decide in 2 more months. We have put or mobile home up for sale. My husband is understanding. He is a good man but understands my heart is torn and he finds it difficult to hold a job! the money from the sale of the mobile home would be funding my dogs to fly over etc.. Once again thanks.. I think it would be hard to leave my grandchildren, especially my 10 year old one. We have such a strong bond, but lives move forward, situations change and in in the long run who can you count on but yourself.

Jerseygirl

Are you a US citizen?