Leaving California for England after 16 years
Jul 31st 2019, 6:25 pm
#16
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 32
Re: Leaving California for England after 16 years
Don't get me wrong. I am ok being alone. I have done it for the last 4 years since my divorce. But that can only get you so far. Sharing my life with my family and friends and having the time to do it is what is important to me. More important than making money, having a big home or the weather.
Jul 31st 2019, 6:29 pm
#17
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 32
Re: Leaving California for England after 16 years
Except that popping to Spain takes 2 hours and costs pennies and 'popping to Florida' costs several hundred dollars and takes 6 hours direct + 3 hours of time difference so basically you either take the red eye and get there completely f-ed or you lose an entire day. There's no 'popping' to Puerto Rico either, since there are no direct flights from any of the Bay Area airports and the last time I went, my flight cost over $800 (cattle class) and took me 12 hours. It's often cheaper to fly to UK/Europe on the low cost airlines than it is to get to the east coast. And of course there's actually getting to the airport. OP lives in Sonoma county. It would take him at least 2.5 hours to get to SFO on a good day, 2 to OAK. The distances here are huge and the traffic abysmal so getting anywhere takes forever. Sonoma County to Yosemite? 5 hours one way with no traffic. Pop down to LA? Anywhere from 6 -9 hours depending on the traffic. Fancy a trip to Portland, Oregon? That's an 11 hour drive one way. Not exactly a weekend trip. I've done that drive in one day and it killed me. I live 12 miles from the coast: takes me at least an hour unless I go at 8-9pm.
Sure, but you do not understand Bay Area prices and the cost of living in California in general. I pay well over $3k a month for a 2 bed/one bath and that's a good deal.
Unlimited time off is very common in Silicon Valley. However, it's a bot of con. Unlimited does not mean unlimited. Your manager has to approve all your time off and your holidays are at the discretion of your manager. At least with a designated amount of time off you are entitled to it.
Sure, but you do not understand Bay Area prices and the cost of living in California in general. I pay well over $3k a month for a 2 bed/one bath and that's a good deal.
Unlimited time off is very common in Silicon Valley. However, it's a bot of con. Unlimited does not mean unlimited. Your manager has to approve all your time off and your holidays are at the discretion of your manager. At least with a designated amount of time off you are entitled to it.
You really can't 'pop' anywhere for a weekend break that doesn't involve long hours of driving\flying and expensive accommodations. And when you do, well you have to plan it wisely with your small vacation allowance.
The last decent sunny trip I took was to Maui, Hawaii almost 2 years ago. 4.5 hours fligh.t I went for 1 week. Flights, accommodation and car rental cost me $3,000 USD
Last edited by essexnick; Jul 31st 2019 at 6:34 pm.
Jul 31st 2019, 8:40 pm
#18
Just Joined
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 8
Re: Leaving California for England after 16 years
I have yes. But all the other 49 don't give me my family, good vacation allowance, free healthcare and most of all is I will still be alone.
Don't get me wrong. I am ok being alone. I have done it for the last 4 years since my divorce. But that can only get you so far. Sharing my life with my family and friends and having the time to do it is what is important to me. More important than making money, having a big home or the weather.
Don't get me wrong. I am ok being alone. I have done it for the last 4 years since my divorce. But that can only get you so far. Sharing my life with my family and friends and having the time to do it is what is important to me. More important than making money, having a big home or the weather.
Last edited by Evenstar120; Jul 31st 2019 at 8:43 pm.
Aug 1st 2019, 9:52 am
#19
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 10,014
Re: Leaving California for England after 16 years
I have yes. But all the other 49 don't give me my family, good vacation allowance, free healthcare and most of all is I will still be alone.
Don't get me wrong. I am ok being alone. I have done it for the last 4 years since my divorce. But that can only get you so far. Sharing my life with my family and friends and having the time to do it is what is important to me. More important than making money, having a big home or the weather.
Don't get me wrong. I am ok being alone. I have done it for the last 4 years since my divorce. But that can only get you so far. Sharing my life with my family and friends and having the time to do it is what is important to me. More important than making money, having a big home or the weather.
The US is a big country and certainly living in the high cost Bay Area, with difficult commutes, probably not overall the best place though weather is great. It seems even the average job in UK can easily be 4 to 5 weeks vacation, 37 1/2 hours a week- and the work environment certainly seems much easier than in the US in terms of pressure and stress.
Aug 1st 2019, 10:00 am
#20
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 10,014
Re: Leaving California for England after 16 years
Except that popping to Spain takes 2 hours and costs pennies and 'popping to Florida' costs several hundred dollars and takes 6 hours direct + 3 hours of time difference so basically you either take the red eye and get there completely f-ed or you lose an entire day. There's no 'popping' to Puerto Rico either, since there are no direct flights from any of the Bay Area airports and the last time I went, my flight cost over $800 (cattle class) and took me 12 hours. It's often cheaper to fly to UK/Europe on the low cost airlines than it is to get to the east coast. And of course there's actually getting to the airport. OP lives in Sonoma county. It would take him at least 2.5 hours to get to SFO on a good day, 2 to OAK. The distances here are huge and the traffic abysmal so getting anywhere takes forever. Sonoma County to Yosemite? 5 hours one way with no traffic. Pop down to LA? Anywhere from 6 -9 hours depending on the traffic. Fancy a trip to Portland, Oregon? That's an 11 hour drive one way. Not exactly a weekend trip. I've done that drive in one day and it killed me. I live 12 miles from the coast: takes me at least an hour unless I go at 8-9pm.
Sure, but you do not understand Bay Area prices and the cost of living in California in general. I pay well over $3k a month for a 2 bed/one bath and that's a good deal.
Unlimited time off is very common in Silicon Valley. However, it's a bot of con. Unlimited does not mean unlimited. Your manager has to approve all your time off and your holidays are at the discretion of your manager. At least with a designated amount of time off you are entitled to it.
Sure, but you do not understand Bay Area prices and the cost of living in California in general. I pay well over $3k a month for a 2 bed/one bath and that's a good deal.
Unlimited time off is very common in Silicon Valley. However, it's a bot of con. Unlimited does not mean unlimited. Your manager has to approve all your time off and your holidays are at the discretion of your manager. At least with a designated amount of time off you are entitled to it.
Aug 1st 2019, 4:25 pm
#21
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Feb 2017
Location: Newnan, GA
Posts: 802
Re: Leaving California for England after 16 years
I was basing my Utopia on living in Georgia, not California!
Aug 1st 2019, 6:31 pm
#22
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 947
Re: Leaving California for England after 16 years
Good point about travel costs ! One can fly from UK , flights or with hotel, to Europe a lot less than trips with in the USA. Taking a three day trip to Paris or Rome, or a week in Spain or Cyprus is often very affordable and less time than going to Puerto Rico or Florida. California has some beautiful parts, but the cost of living is insane and less time to enjoy.
Sep 3rd 2019, 8:09 pm
#23
Just Joined
Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 2
Re: Leaving California for England after 16 years
Hey Essex,
I'm also enjoying the sunlife in LA... and I'm with you, you can't base life on sun, palm trees and beautiful houses. Waiting til Brexit waters clear then I think I'm for seeing my family, reengaging with friends and being able to have a life beyond my work base that isn't all my annual leave being sucked up visiting home, and popping to Paris on the Eurostar for a weekend. Just because I can. Yes, there's rain and grey but there is also theatre, and great pubs and good food that isn't either burgers or salad. 16 years is a long time but sounds like you haven't put down roots in Sonoma...maybe cos you were always planning to go home...
I'm also enjoying the sunlife in LA... and I'm with you, you can't base life on sun, palm trees and beautiful houses. Waiting til Brexit waters clear then I think I'm for seeing my family, reengaging with friends and being able to have a life beyond my work base that isn't all my annual leave being sucked up visiting home, and popping to Paris on the Eurostar for a weekend. Just because I can. Yes, there's rain and grey but there is also theatre, and great pubs and good food that isn't either burgers or salad. 16 years is a long time but sounds like you haven't put down roots in Sonoma...maybe cos you were always planning to go home...
Sep 5th 2019, 12:40 pm
#24
Just Joined
Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 1
Re: Leaving California for England after 16 years
Hi Essex,
I left California for the UK in April, after 37 years living and working in the Bay Area. It was more a decision of the heart not the head. Every time I came back to the UK to visit it felt like coming home, and returning was just ‘well this is where I live’. I had close family in both places, but more friends here. I love to hike, and the UK is much more hiker and dog friendly. Have had a lot of raised eyebrows when people here find out I left there - their attitude seems to be California is heaven, why ever would you want to leave, although being British they’re usually too polite to ask! But I felt like you do - prices crazy, lack of green, risk of medical bankruptcy, gun madness, Drumpf and his supporters, etc etc, and when my job disappeared and my house started to fall apart I knew it was time.
Rather than regret, my overwhelming feeling has been relief! Yes it rains a bit and is generally colder, yes there’s Boris and Brexit, but hiking and swimming on Dartmoor, sitting in a proper pub chatting to locals, attending the local country shows, seeing the green vistas across Devon, free healthcare - all makes me realise how right I was to follow my heart.
Just had an offer accepted on a thatched cottage in the countryside and couldn’t be happier! Good luck to you with your decision, I hope you make the right one for you. Cheers!
I left California for the UK in April, after 37 years living and working in the Bay Area. It was more a decision of the heart not the head. Every time I came back to the UK to visit it felt like coming home, and returning was just ‘well this is where I live’. I had close family in both places, but more friends here. I love to hike, and the UK is much more hiker and dog friendly. Have had a lot of raised eyebrows when people here find out I left there - their attitude seems to be California is heaven, why ever would you want to leave, although being British they’re usually too polite to ask! But I felt like you do - prices crazy, lack of green, risk of medical bankruptcy, gun madness, Drumpf and his supporters, etc etc, and when my job disappeared and my house started to fall apart I knew it was time.
Rather than regret, my overwhelming feeling has been relief! Yes it rains a bit and is generally colder, yes there’s Boris and Brexit, but hiking and swimming on Dartmoor, sitting in a proper pub chatting to locals, attending the local country shows, seeing the green vistas across Devon, free healthcare - all makes me realise how right I was to follow my heart.
Just had an offer accepted on a thatched cottage in the countryside and couldn’t be happier! Good luck to you with your decision, I hope you make the right one for you. Cheers!
Sep 5th 2019, 5:11 pm
#25
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 947
Re: Leaving California for England after 16 years
I wonder if those living in CA (and more specifically those of us in NorCal/Bay Area) are more jaded with/critical of US life than those in other states? Everyone I talk to around here has an exit plan, including myself, whether that be to another state or another country. The extreme cost of living has to be a factor, as does the traffic, the flooding/fire/earthquake threat and the relative isolation (it's a huge investment in both money and time to get back home, or to get anywhere really).
Because no one would ever move to the Bay Area 'because it's nice', everyone is here for work, and boy do they work all.the.time, and everyone is plotting their escape so it's hard to meet people and develop meaningful connections as everyone has one foot out of the door already.
When I tell people that I live in the Bay Area they start gushing about how uh-mazing San Francisco is and I always say, when was the last time you were there.... because if I *never* have to go into the city again I would not care one iota. Whatever magic and charm it had, it's not there anymore. It's just a terrible display of human misery and inequality and tech bro madness.
Because no one would ever move to the Bay Area 'because it's nice', everyone is here for work, and boy do they work all.the.time, and everyone is plotting their escape so it's hard to meet people and develop meaningful connections as everyone has one foot out of the door already.
When I tell people that I live in the Bay Area they start gushing about how uh-mazing San Francisco is and I always say, when was the last time you were there.... because if I *never* have to go into the city again I would not care one iota. Whatever magic and charm it had, it's not there anymore. It's just a terrible display of human misery and inequality and tech bro madness.
Sep 5th 2019, 9:31 pm
#26
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2017
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 455
Re: Leaving California for England after 16 years
When I tell people that I live in the Bay Area they start gushing about how uh-mazing San Francisco is and I always say, when was the last time you were there.... because if I *never* have to go into the city again I would not care one iota. Whatever magic and charm it had, it's not there anymore. It's just a terrible display of human misery and inequality and tech bro madness.
You couldn't pay me enough - literally - to actually live there, considering the wonderful life I'd be giving up here in Texas.
Sep 7th 2019, 2:34 pm
#27
BE Enthusiast
Joined: May 2012
Location: Nebraska by the Sea
Posts: 987
Re: Leaving California for England after 16 years
I wonder if those living in CA (and more specifically those of us in NorCal/Bay Area) are more jaded with/critical of US life than those in other states? Everyone I talk to around here has an exit plan, including myself, whether that be to another state or another country. The extreme cost of living has to be a factor, as does the traffic, the flooding/fire/earthquake threat and the relative isolation (it's a huge investment in both money and time to get back home, or to get anywhere really).
Because no one would ever move to the Bay Area 'because it's nice', everyone is here for work, and boy do they work all.the.time, and everyone is plotting their escape so it's hard to meet people and develop meaningful connections as everyone has one foot out of the door already.
When I tell people that I live in the Bay Area they start gushing about how uh-mazing San Francisco is and I always say, when was the last time you were there.... because if I *never* have to go into the city again I would not care one iota. Whatever magic and charm it had, it's not there anymore. It's just a terrible display of human misery and inequality and tech bro madness.
Because no one would ever move to the Bay Area 'because it's nice', everyone is here for work, and boy do they work all.the.time, and everyone is plotting their escape so it's hard to meet people and develop meaningful connections as everyone has one foot out of the door already.
When I tell people that I live in the Bay Area they start gushing about how uh-mazing San Francisco is and I always say, when was the last time you were there.... because if I *never* have to go into the city again I would not care one iota. Whatever magic and charm it had, it's not there anymore. It's just a terrible display of human misery and inequality and tech bro madness.
Sep 11th 2019, 8:00 pm
#28
Just Joined
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 22
Re: Leaving California for England after 16 years
I guess I am writing this post because I need to write out my thoughts. Also, to know if anyone is or was in a similar situation.
Long story short, I moved to California 16 years ago from Essex, England to marry an American. We got divorced 4 years ago. No kids. Just 1 dog that I have now. I also have my US Passport and UK Passport.
Financially I have a nice little bit of savings and could move back to England and afford to not work for say 2 years. Obviously i'll want to work as soon as possible.
I live in Sonoma County(about 1 hr north of San Francisco) and its very beautiful part of America. But here is a list of my issues living here:
Has anyone gone through this argument in their head before deciding to leave? Did you leave and now find life better in the UK.? Do you feel the same if you live in America still?
I know I have to give up certain things by moving back to England. But, I know I will gain other things in my life like my family, friends, life\work balance and that is important to my health.
Long story short, I moved to California 16 years ago from Essex, England to marry an American. We got divorced 4 years ago. No kids. Just 1 dog that I have now. I also have my US Passport and UK Passport.
Financially I have a nice little bit of savings and could move back to England and afford to not work for say 2 years. Obviously i'll want to work as soon as possible.
I live in Sonoma County(about 1 hr north of San Francisco) and its very beautiful part of America. But here is a list of my issues living here:
- It's very very very expensive to buy or rent
- Groceries are expensive compared to England. $4 for a loaf of bread? Seriously?
- Going on holiday is expensive to book a hotel or fly.
I am amazed of the cheap deals my dad and brother get to go to Spain, Canaries, Greece etc - I don't see how I can retire here. I would have to live in another state.
- Dating in general is tough at 43. Most people have kids, or don't know what they want or are just too busy. Many people in the bay area have two jobs to make it work. Which is madness.
- Earthquakes, fires and floods
- Underlying tension of the gun culture plays on my mind when going to live events. See today's news about a shooting at a Garlic Festival in Gilroy, CA.
- I have no family here
- The friends I have are too busy working or house projects or kids etc
- Healthcare is not free and costs per co pay etc
- I am sick of the attitude towards earning sick days
- I get 15 days vacation which is considered good in America.
My brother just got a new job in London that gives you 30 days + 8 Bank Holiday. My American friend just moved to London and now gets 28 days holiday pay.
This seriously is my biggest gripe with America. It's all work an hardly any play. Corporate slavery.
No wonder so many Americans are seeing therapists or on some kind of medication just to keep going here. They work you to the bone.
Has anyone gone through this argument in their head before deciding to leave? Did you leave and now find life better in the UK.? Do you feel the same if you live in America still?
I know I have to give up certain things by moving back to England. But, I know I will gain other things in my life like my family, friends, life\work balance and that is important to my health.
1. First one is the one that bothers all of us these days. To survive, one needs 2 jobs, one will never repay his mortgage. Our parents repaid it in 10 years, our grandparents in 3. We can't repay a car in 3 years. Today, young men in their 30s still live with their parents. The ones that get married, 40-50% end up divorced. 20% end up childless. Every third death in UK is cancer caused and there is no cure for common folks etc.
2. Loneliness. Find a nice lady and kick-off your new project. My best project is my marriage and my kids.
PS: All big cities are alike. If you think London is much different, you are just fooling yourself. Google up nationality map of London online and you'll notice that only 40% of people living in central London are British. Out of those 40% at least half are naturalized immigrants. That'll tell you a nice story about escaping the big city. Those naturalized immigrants will also escape sooner or later, so it's like a big game of "Blind man's buff" only it's played in overcrowded space and everybody is the blind man. The ones who get tired and decide to take the blind of, escape the city. The ones that don't stay there and until the next round.
So your problem could actually be the big city, hence, just move away.
Sep 12th 2019, 1:36 am
#30
Account Closed
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 2
Re: Leaving California for England after 16 years
The percentage varies with educational achievement which has some potentially interesting long term consequences.