Decision made by feeling very wobbly
May 26th 2013, 9:55 pm
#1
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 167
Decision made by feeling very wobbly
Hi
Well we have made the decision to return to the UK next year after 8 years here in NZ. It has been a long road to reaching the decision - I have been suppressing how unhappy I have been for years but it has now come to a head and I can't hold it in any longer.
I am still however suffering major guilt feelings - leaving our eldest here (she will be 21 by then) and taking our son away from his mates. However he will be 17 by the time college starts over there so will be starting afresh with everyone else.
Our other daughter is already in UK.
Eldest didn't react too well although she knows it has been on the cards for a while. I keep telling myself she has her own life and will make her own way but she was quite angry with me.
Son was keen but now wobbling.
Anyway am busy making plans - I may go first to see if I can get a job. Just trying to work out the best time frames for everything. Also a bit worried that son could have a good few months before he can start college there and don't want him too isolated. I know all these things can be worked out and we will survive regardless of whatever happens.
We have citizenship so can always come back if we need to.
Guess will just have to get used to this permanent headache that seems to have appeared and throw myself headlong into organising and list making (which I have to say I do enjoy!!!)
Well I do have 2 things listed on Trade Me so guess that's a start and we get rid of a skip load of rubbish earlier in the year.
Right back to it I guess - at least not being able to get a job leaves me plenty of time to sort things out.
Well we have made the decision to return to the UK next year after 8 years here in NZ. It has been a long road to reaching the decision - I have been suppressing how unhappy I have been for years but it has now come to a head and I can't hold it in any longer.
I am still however suffering major guilt feelings - leaving our eldest here (she will be 21 by then) and taking our son away from his mates. However he will be 17 by the time college starts over there so will be starting afresh with everyone else.
Our other daughter is already in UK.
Eldest didn't react too well although she knows it has been on the cards for a while. I keep telling myself she has her own life and will make her own way but she was quite angry with me.
Son was keen but now wobbling.
Anyway am busy making plans - I may go first to see if I can get a job. Just trying to work out the best time frames for everything. Also a bit worried that son could have a good few months before he can start college there and don't want him too isolated. I know all these things can be worked out and we will survive regardless of whatever happens.
We have citizenship so can always come back if we need to.
Guess will just have to get used to this permanent headache that seems to have appeared and throw myself headlong into organising and list making (which I have to say I do enjoy!!!)
Well I do have 2 things listed on Trade Me so guess that's a start and we get rid of a skip load of rubbish earlier in the year.
Right back to it I guess - at least not being able to get a job leaves me plenty of time to sort things out.
May 27th 2013, 1:01 am
#2
The Kwisatz Haderach
Joined: Aug 2008
Location: North Wales
Posts: 8,080
Re: Decision made by feeling very wobbly
Good luck. 
Maybe the oldest will decide to join you when she knows it all for real.
But you are right, she does have her own life and can choose to follow or stay.
So onwards and upwards, selling, binning, and giving away all kinds of accumulated stuff.
Maybe the oldest will decide to join you when she knows it all for real.
But you are right, she does have her own life and can choose to follow or stay.
So onwards and upwards, selling, binning, and giving away all kinds of accumulated stuff.
May 27th 2013, 3:45 am
#3
.
Joined: Jun 2010
Location: Peterborough, Cambridgeshire
Posts: 2,744
Re: Decision madde by feeling very wobbly
Yup, I know how that feels. If you can move back after 8 years in NZ and another poster has moved back after 6 years in NZ it seems there's no upper or lower time limit for staying. Once again it is personal choice and/or circumstance.
May 27th 2013, 12:25 pm
#4
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 603
Re: Decision made by feeling very wobbly
Good luck, so often it is not a straight forward decision but hopefully now you have decided things will start to fall into place, just keep moving forward and keep letting your daughter know how hard it is to leave her behind and what plans you have in place for her visiting you and visversa and ways to stay in touch like skype etc. I think she just needs to keep hearing that your leaving the country not her.
