Maste

Hey guys,

As you know, I am here on an F1 student visa. My girlfriend and I have been together since 2015, and I came here this year to get my masters degree.

Obviously over Christmas, a lot of my girlfriends family asked about our future plans together and individually following our studies and what we want to do etc. Originally, my girlfriend and I were just going to go with the flow, and see where we would most likely end up before making a decision on our future; we were playing it out and seeing whether we will end up in the UK, or the USA. Obviously we have always wanted to get married to each other since we realised we were each others 'one', but had no idea when, or how!

My girlfriend has recently looked up post docs for when she finishes her PhD in a couple of years, and she's leaning towards the USA for her post doc, as she has now made contacts and networked through her lab professors and medical research conferences she has started to attend this school year. She's also found out we both would also make more money here in the USA than we would in the UK, even after bills, insurance, groceries etc. As she's leaning towards the USA for her post doc, she also thinks marriage would allow me to get a start on my career here.

We are both Christians, so we wanted to do the whole marriage thing properly. Since we got back from Christmas with her family, she's been thinking a bit more about our future together, and is saying maybe we should just for it.

We have a few questions, so I figured here would be the best place to seek advice/answers.

IF we decided to go for it, can we AOS from F1 visa to resident? How simple is this process to do? Will we encounter problems due to our situation? I have no criminal records, visa denials or anything 'dodgy'.

Will our relationship raise questions as to our intentions? We have been together since 2015, but I did come here in fall of this year to study so I can advance myself and hopefully my career; getting to live with my girlfriend was an extra added bonus whilst we figured out what we wanted to do!

If this process is ok and applicable for us, can we keep the marriage secret? We don't want any of our families to know, due to being conservative Christians. We will probably tell our closest friends only. Our families help us out a lot, so we don't want to disrespect them. Would USCIS contact our families for references or evidence or something?

If we could keep it a secret, could we do a 'proper' ceremony later on and have everyone think that is our wedding? If so, any advice on how?

My girlfriend is just thinking sooner makes more sense financially and for our relationship, but we want to check we are within our rights and within the law to do such a thing before we think any more on it.

tom169

Is your girlfriend a US citizen or Legal Permanent Resident?

Maste

Sorry, I should have said! She is a US citizen. Also, she gets a stipend from her school. I've seen mentions of meeting sponsorship requirements with income?

Rete

That is correct. The adjustment of status requires the USC spouse to be financial sponsor for the foreign spouse. They must earn 125% of the poverty guidelines for a family their size. In your case, that would be two people. The poverty guidelines can be found on the USCIS site or just google it. If she does not meet the requirement, she still needs to complete the I-864 but she can find someone who is either a USC or a LPR living in the US who can be the joint financial sponsor.

Have you had a look at the wiki up above and/or searched for posts here on the marriage-based visa forum for AOS posts.

This is the link: http://britishexpats.com/wiki/Adjustment_of_Status to adjustment of status. Note that it is written basically for those who entered with a K-1 visa. You did not. Your wife needs to add the I-130 for you.

Rene should be around shortly and she is wonderful in writing up the detailed steps.

Rete

Seems really sad that she is willing to give up the big church wedding and reception to sneak off and get married and then later on down the line have a party. Why not follow your original plans. Okay you are both Christian but unless you are Catholic and pre-marital sex is prohibited and you go along with it, what is the rush to marry now?

Also what will you lose, if anything, from the university if you marry.

Maste

Okay thank you. Is AOS allowed on the F1 visa then, if we decided to do this route?

Well, we both aren't too bothered about big church weddings and ceremonies etc. We both would rather have a small, cheap, simple ceremony, as cheap as possible if we married properly anyway as we are both frugal. We aren't 'strict' Christians, but both our families have stricter Christians in them, so we don't want to upset them. That's why we would want to keep it between us if we did decide this route, you know?

We won't lose too much from my university. I get a small scholarship but if we did marry and I get a full time job, this would bring in more money than losing that scholarship anyway.

My girlfriend is looking at this whole thing from a financial perspective and based on what we want to do and our feelings.

tom169

AOS is fine from F-1.

Nutmegger

I think you may be underestimating your families. They will in all probability be happy that you have decided to marry and will understand the situation-- a simple visit to the preacher with perhaps just both sets of parents present would be perfect and make things more straightforward for you and fulfill their religious needs. Then, they/you are free to throw a big bash, perhaps with a blessing of your union, for a lot of people at a later date, if that is desired.

KK85

Yes, you can. You and your girlfriend can go to the courthouse as soon as you're ready, get married, and then have a bigger ceremony whenever you're ready for that, too. Think of the bigger ceremony merely as a party - there need be nothing official about it whatsoever.

To my understanding, no, they will not. You might wish to provide sworn affidavits from friends or family in order to assist your petition (when it comes to providing 'evidence' of a legitimate relationship, for example, or of your intent when you first came to the USA), but those will be letters you seek, not USCIS, and you will be in control over who is asked to provide those. And I don't believe they are even necessary, merely optional.

The only thing you will need to be mindful of, assuming one of you might choose to adopt the other's surname in marriage, is that whomever conducts the 'wedding' at the bigger ceremony is careful to use your/her previous name when conducting the vows. If nobody intends to change their surname, this won't be an issue, of course! Alternatively, if your girlfriend does wish to become Mrs Maste, for example, then she could wait until after the bigger ceremony to change her name officially, and then you'll have nothing to cover up at all - the only issue you'll be faced with is the potential emotional/logistical implications that might come with keeping secrets from certain family members and whatnot. Likewise, should you choose to adopt your girlfriend's surname, you will need to ensure that whomever conducts the ceremony uses your previous name to avoid 'outing' you as already married.


I know nothing about AOS, so can't help there, but it seems you're already in good hands with advice from everyone above.

Congratulations on this development in your relationship.

Edit: it is worth considering Nutmegger's post, above, too. The situation you and your girlfriend are in is rather rare compared to most unions in the world, and maybe - Christian values still considered - certain family members might be a little more understanding and considerate than we'd expect when they are made aware of the fact that a quick, no-frills 'wedding' makes the most sense in your current circumstances. You can tell them that you need to do this to get the ball rolling so that you can start your lives together without delay, that it doesn't devalue your vows or commitment or marriage in any way, and that you still intend to honour your marriage with a big ceremony as soon as you are able. Just food for thought. It might be easier and feel morally better than trying to hide stuff (though whichever route you go down is understandable, of course).

Nutmegger

A point I intended to make above but forgot -- getting married on the quiet and then pretending not to be, doesn't seem to jibe with the Christian ethic you wish to comply with. Be up front, and you will feel a lot better about yourselves and not risk engendering any ill will. (And if anyone is unhappy, they should look at themselves, not you!)

Rete

I was going to write that having a quick ceremony and keeping it a secret will do nothing for the disapproval coming your way from the more conservative Christian members of the family. Of course, I don't know you or her or the families. But parents, mother in particular, are very emotional when it comes to their children marrying and want to be part of the ceremony.

Be upfront about the wedding. You can keep it simple, as Nutmegger said, and then the parents can happily pass on the news to relatives.

BTW wouldn't her family want to throw a party for the two of you to celebrate the marriage? And honestly, it is a shame that you will have to give up going to classes full time when you need to find full time employment to support the two of you.

Also, bear in mind, if she cannot complete the I-864 and be the sole financial supporter of your visa won't she have to ask a family member to do so? Cat .... Bag and all that.

notaclue

I did the exact thing you are thinking of.

I was an F1 and we got a courthouse wedding (Although we are having a big wedding this coming July). The reason behind that was I was a student and couldn't work and we both needed to save up for said wedding. So we did the AOS and I've been working and saving since.

In short you need to:

- Get married
- Your now wife needs to earn over the poverty line (I think it's 20 grand?)
- You need to file a bunch of forms that will cost close to $2000 (Including a medical)
- You go for biometrics (Usually around now you can start working)
- You both go for an interview
- You are approved and get your greencard

See my time line below for a rough guide as to the time taken.

In short, get married and find $2000. Your girlfriend/wife needs to earn more than $20,000 or you'll need to fess up and ask her family for financial assurances on the form (No physical money).

Noorah101

The I-864 Affidavit of Support joint sponsor does not have to be a family member. It can be a friend or anyone else who is financially qualified.

Rene

Noorah101

Yes.

If you are good with filling out forms, have attention to detail and patience, very simple.

No.

Good, that makes it even easier.

No.

You can keep it secret from everyone except USCIS, and a joint sponsor if one is needed.

No.

Not a 'proper' one, because the proper one will have been the legal one. But you can do a fake fancy one to make everyone think it's the legal one. Keep in mind that forever more, you will have 2 anniversary dates (i.e. your legal one that you two might celebrate on the anniversary, and the fake one that everyone else sends you good wishes on. This doesn't matter except in the future you might end up letting the secret out after the fact, which could cause hurt feelings for those who didn't know.

Not from me, but I imagine it's just a case of setting up the venue, the person performing the ceremony, inviting the guests, etc....and just making sure the person performing the ceremony treats it as an original one (you'll have to let that person in on the secret because you'll already have a marriage certificate and all that).

Yes, it makes sense, and is within your rights and within the law.

Personally, I would just tell everyone you're getting married sooner rather than later, as others have suggested. Makes life a whole lot easier.

Rene

tom169

When my wife and I got married (as I was on a K-1 I needed to get married quickly) we went to the courthouse and had everything sorted within an hour. We kept it on the down low from anyone except our close family, but it wasn't a huge secret.

Everyone totally understood our reasons for this and had plenty of time at our large ceremony and party.