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Old Oct 29th 2009, 1:19 pm   #76
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Thanks for the tips Lorna.

I guess Im too used to the school in the UK. Whenever a kid got hurt we always got a note and an explanation. What shocked me the most was the total lack of concern from the Maestra. All she was worried about was the fact they had had to change his clothes.

The diary is the 'communication' book but I have had no such thing back since the first day. The thing that concerns me the most is the total lack of concern or support. Even from the language learning point of view...

Hope the lunch is still edible lol
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Old Oct 29th 2009, 1:33 pm   #77
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Thanks for the tips Lorna.

I guess Im too used to the school in the UK. Whenever a kid got hurt we always got a note and an explanation. What shocked me the most was the total lack of concern from the Maestra. All she was worried about was the fact they had had to change his clothes.

The diary is the 'communication' book but I have had no such thing back since the first day. The thing that concerns me the most is the total lack of concern or support. Even from the language learning point of view...

Hope the lunch is still edible lol
It was.

Don't worry about the communications book. As soon as they have something to say you'll know about it. It should be in his school bag though because it is for you as well if you have to ever let a teacher know about something.

Foreign kids in the school here get extra Italian lessons - but they are not really set up as extra lessons - they are instead of the RE lesson.

There are a lot of muslim kids in the school. They do not do RE so when the other kids have their RE lesson, they all go off into another classroom and do extra Italian.

Don't know how many foreign kids might be in your school, but if there are some perhaps you could enquire if they do Italian instead of RE.

The town hall set up free Italian lessons for foreigners but it was for the adults. I think they presume that kids will learn quickly at school and with friends but that's not always the case. My son is 6 and just started elementary school this year. The teachers have already told us that they are using two systems to teach reading and writing because of the large number of foreign kids that didn't go to scuola materna and have little or no Italian at all. Apparently they are mixing the Italian syllable system with the global system - but that means nothing to me really.
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Old Oct 29th 2009, 1:34 pm   #78
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No this shouldn't happen, but this is in part, what I was trying to get at on my last post. Italians think this is just kids being kids. Well kids grow up to be men who think this behavoiur acceptable.

If your child gets hurt (in anyway) at school take him to a pronto soccorso, get him checked over them file an 'infortuno sul lavoro' (strange I know). It is done at the hospital. With this you can threaten the school with a denucia (sometimes you have to stoop as low as Italians) if they don't sort it out.

Sorry all of you if this post sounds a bit harsh, but in case you hadn't gathered, I'm a bit p****d off lately.
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Old Oct 29th 2009, 1:36 pm   #79
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Oh Ruth, bug hugs for both you and your son. whereabouts are you?? I just want to come and give you both a big hug in personxxxx

I have been here two years and like you we went to the school in the small town we had found a house in and we asked the Presida (she is like the head of all the schools in this town and another small town next to ours) specifically if they had the resources to accomodate our then 7 (almost 8year old) and our 3year old in their school system. She embraced us (literally) with open arms and assured us that all would be fine and they would give lots of extra support. Needless to say she didn't seem to translate this very well to the actual teachers of my son. He went straight into year 3, although he is almost the youngest in the class and now I feel that they would have been better putting him into year 2. The teachers were exasperated from day one. They did give him one or two basic phrases like 'Posso andare a bagno.' (can i go to the toilet) and after that they kinda left him there to sink or swim. The rest of the class had been togther since year 1 and he did find it hard to fit in. He was ahead in the UK, but quickly found himself behind and struggling to keep up, and it is only really recently that he speaks fluently. We were called in the first time a few months in as there were problems. He wouldn't work for the teachers, he turned into the class clown etc. They even brought in the special needs teacher, but something about us and him exasperated her and she rudely and abruptly got up and walked out of our meeting with the teachers and she has never been supportive or polite. The teachers wanted to know why we would bring the children here only for two years (my hubbies contract has been extended for another 2 years) and why he wouldn't behave when they were under the impression that English schools were the strictest in the world. We knew that it was because it was a huge change for him but they have never made it easy for us or him. We kinda just get on with it.

DD fared better, but she was 3, there happened to be a teacher at the nursery school who spoke brilliant English and she helped my daughter a lot at the beginning, but it was literally only for about 2 weeks and then dd had picked up the language and refused to speak english at school. She has just started year one at the school and things are much better for her because she speaks like a local and is happy to be here. My son still is trying his damnedest to get himself kicked out as he is under the impression that we will then send him back to the UK to live with my inlaws and he can go back to english school where life is easy.

The teachers have a different way of thinking. School is school, they are the professionals and you are not. You are just a parent who is going to side with your horrible child over them and they will do all they can to make him into a compliant worker, except they cant as they try and get respect without giving respect and therefore many italians do not have respect for others as far as i am concerned. I have never seen an accident book but there is no ofsted in italy either. The schools and the teachers are unregulated and you do kinda get used to that. Teachers here, once they score that job of gold, are impossible to get rid of, no matter how awful they are. I don't know what to suggest.... do you have some italian materials that you could use to help your son Ruth? We brought the Muzzy series of DVDs made by the BBC, and this helped both the kids pick up some language in the beginning. It does get easier as you get more used to how things work and you pick up more of the language which helps too, but we have found it really hard here tbh. Hope me telling you all this might be helpful. I just wanted to make you feel that you are not alonexxxx
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Old Oct 29th 2009, 1:38 pm   #80
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No this shouldn't happen, but this is in part, what I was trying to get at on my last post. Italians think this is just kids being kids. Well kids grow up to be men who think this behavoiur acceptable.

If your child gets hurt (in anyway) at school take him to a pronto soccorso, get him checked over them file an 'infortuno sul lavoro' (strange I know). It is done at the hospital. With this you can threaten the school with a denucia (sometimes you have to stoop as low as Italians) if they don't sort it out.

Sorry all of you if this post sounds a bit harsh, but in case you hadn't gathered, I'm a bit p****d off lately.
I don't think it sounds that harsh.

One of the girls in the square here got pushed over at school in 5th year and lost one of her front teeth. The family ended up taking legal action against the school and the insurance company as the insurance refused to foot the dentist bills for a new tooth for her. I know they ended up in the tribunal in Venice.

Makes you wonder what we pay the bloody insurance for.
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Old Oct 29th 2009, 1:44 pm   #81
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I don't think it sounds that harsh.

One of the girls in the square here got pushed over at school in 5th year and lost one of her front teeth. The family ended up taking legal action against the school and the insurance company as the insurance refused to foot the dentist bills for a new tooth for her. I know they ended up in the tribunal in Venice.

Makes you wonder what we pay the bloody insurance for.
Same happened when my eldest was in 4th grade. A girl lost two front teeth when another girl pushed her down the stairs. The culprit's parents paid up.
And again when he was in junior high. A boy wacked another one so hard he burst his ear drum.
The insurance only covers accidents.
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Old Oct 29th 2009, 1:58 pm   #82
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Wow! Thanks to you all for all the replies! I thought I was going mad and that maybe I was being unreasonable too.

I have travelled a lot over the years (teaching English as a foeign language) and have always been a greater supporterof the adapt, tolerate and understand as much as possible when living in another country.

That was before I had my son...I couldnt care less about how Im treated but I am concerned for Alex.
So far my experience has been very similar to yours and your son indiegirl-btw Im in Modena-I was promised everything, reassured time and time again and now I am, quite honestly, scared for Alex.
If he comes home and tells me he doesnt want to go bcak, Im not sure if I will take him back
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Old Oct 29th 2009, 2:05 pm   #83
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Wow! Thanks to you all for all the replies! I thought I was going mad and that maybe I was being unreasonable too.

I have travelled a lot over the years (teaching English as a foeign language) and have always been a greater supporterof the adapt, tolerate and understand as much as possible when living in another country.

That was before I had my son...I couldnt care less about how Im treated but I am concerned for Alex.
So far my experience has been very similar to yours and your son indiegirl-btw Im in Modena-I was promised everything, reassured time and time again and now I am, quite honestly, scared for Alex.
If he comes home and tells me he doesnt want to go bcak, Im not sure if I will take him back
This is gonna be good. My son is called Alex too and so is another poster's son.
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Old Oct 29th 2009, 2:09 pm   #84
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lol really? Maybe they should be numbered or something, Alex 1, 2 and 3.

Aw its nice to smile again lol. I do miss our wicked sense of humour. Its all so damned serious around here. I can honestly say that is what I miss the most! Oh, and common sense! Don't think they have heard of it in Italy! I know I shouldnt complain, I chose to live here etc but how is it possible to have a total lack of common sense nationwide??
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Old Oct 29th 2009, 2:11 pm   #85
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Originally Posted by Ruth2003 View Post
Wow! Thanks to you all for all the replies! I thought I was going mad and that maybe I was being unreasonable too.

I have travelled a lot over the years (teaching English as a foeign language) and have always been a greater supporterof the adapt, tolerate and understand as much as possible when living in another country.

That was before I had my son...I couldnt care less about how Im treated but I am concerned for Alex.
So far my experience has been very similar to yours and your son indiegirl-btw Im in Modena-I was promised everything, reassured time and time again and now I am, quite honestly, scared for Alex.
If he comes home and tells me he doesnt want to go bcak, Im not sure if I will take him back
Awwww Ruth, a bit far for me to come for a hug in person. Hopefully the pushing and shoving will stop quickly. Doesn't sound like the teachers have proper control. We have perservered as we hope that one day we (and he) will look back and see that we learned a lot from the experience. We never had actual violence or any accidents. My son did poo his pants once as the teachers only give out one piece of loo roll for the girls to wipe themselves with and none for the boys. I did cry for him. I had to go and take him a change of clothes and he was so ashamed. The teacher couldn't understand how i could question her as to why he couldn't have had some loo roll. After that I sent him in with tissues so that if he needed to he could have a poo and wipe his own bottom. He was eight for goodness sake! To his credit he does go in every day and he does enjoy the company of the other kids. Quite often though i am left wondering if I'm just too sensitive.

what will you do if your son doesn't go to school? Will you move somewhere else or will you try and find another school? You could try going back to the school secretary and making an appointment to see La Presida. I am always diverted away from this action by the teachers who never think it's necessary and they decide to carry on and maybe do some of the things we suggest in the short term. If it had been just me here on my own with the kids i would have pulled them out and taken them home to the UK ages ago, but we are just desperate to all stay together as a family.

The diary thing here is very important. Both kids have to bring them home and i have to sign every day, otherwise i get in trouble...
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Old Oct 29th 2009, 2:13 pm   #86
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lol really? Maybe they should be numbered or something, Alex 1, 2 and 3.

Aw its nice to smile again lol. I do miss our wicked sense of humour. Its all so damned serious around here. I can honestly say that is what I miss the most! Oh, and common sense! Don't think they have heard of it in Italy! I know I shouldnt complain, I chose to live here etc but how is it possible to have a total lack of common sense nationwide??
If you want more smiles and a bit of British insight into life in Italy then you should read this old thread ....

LIVING IN ITALY - A LOVE/HATE RELATIONSHIP
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Old Oct 29th 2009, 2:15 pm   #87
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Here in Verona the comune organizes children's summer school for immigrants to improve their Italian. Not that that's any good to Ruth and Alex3 in Modena.
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Old Oct 29th 2009, 2:47 pm   #88
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Hi again Ruth,
Sorry to hear about your son's problems. I can't really advise much as I don't have kids but as I said in your other thread, there are loads of foreigners here in Modena so it might be worth finding out if there are any other foreign kids in Alex's school (that's my nephew's name! ) Lots seem to do the whole expat thing and send their kids to the international school, but there's bound to be someone who chose to go down the state school route. I'm sure it would be worth finding out if anyone else is in the same boat.

Also, I did a quick internet search and found this:
http://www.sassuolo2000.it/2009/10/2...i-industriali/

(am I allowed to post links? Not sure...)

I don't know how hot your Italian reading skills are, but it's about a project called "paroliamo"to help foreign kids integrate into Modena schools by giving them Italian language support. Might be worth trying to find out more about this and if they can offer any support for your son.
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Old Oct 29th 2009, 2:56 pm   #89
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Lol 37000.
Indiegirl, I might just end up speaking to the headmaster. Getting quite concerned now!

Lorna-Hillarious thread! Made me feel much better!

K-What a wonderful link, thank you so much! Will try to figure out as much as poss. Are there any Brit meet-ups in this area?
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Old Oct 29th 2009, 4:33 pm   #90
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Hi again Ruth,
Sorry to hear about your son's problems. I can't really advise much as I don't have kids but as I said in your other thread, there are loads of foreigners here in Modena so it might be worth finding out if there are any other foreign kids in Alex's school (that's my nephew's name! ) Lots seem to do the whole expat thing and send their kids to the international school, but there's bound to be someone who chose to go down the state school route. I'm sure it would be worth finding out if anyone else is in the same boat.

Also, I did a quick internet search and found this:
http://www.sassuolo2000.it/2009/10/2...i-industriali/

(am I allowed to post links? Not sure...)

I don't know how hot your Italian reading skills are, but it's about a project called "paroliamo"to help foreign kids integrate into Modena schools by giving them Italian language support. Might be worth trying to find out more about this and if they can offer any support for your son.
Links are fine as long as they not advertising or promoting your own business etc. and links to adult content, pages with links to adult content, near adult content, warez, hate sites or messages describing anything against the law is not allowed .
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