Dorothy

This I love my mother, but I would not want her to uproot her entire life snd move thousands of miles to be closer to me. As an adult she should live her life for her. Not me, not my children, but her. Just as I did when I left home to live overseas.

Lychee

I am resurrecting an older post of mine from months ago, because there are other things to factor that you may not even realise are factors, so I'm going to copy and paste my thoughts here as they are still relevant:

You sound absolutely lovely and I wish you the best in your future plans. As you stated, this is a big decision.

After reading another thread, it reminded me that one thing many people seem to omit in their plans to move for quality of life purposes, or perhaps not take seriously, is the culture shock and the differences in culture. You are not moving to another place in the UK. You are moving to a different country with different customs and different ways of living life. Do you want a different life? To immerse yourself in a different culture? This is what a move to Canada will bring you.

On the surface, it may be similar to the UK, but the subtleties of the differences do add up. What I mean is that the small things you take for granted in the UK will be different in Canada. The infrastructure is different. Canada is the size of a continent, with a population half of the UK. It cannot function like a small, densely-populated country like the UK. Services and prices reflect that. The banking systems are different. The way towns/cities/villages are built is different. The options to interact with the wilderness and countryside is different. The perceptions of history and geographical distance are different. The prices and modes of public transportation are different. The seasons - when they start, how long they last - is different. The way people shop for food is different. The food choices available to you are different. The television shows and radio personalities and all the pop culture references you take for granted that you grew up with in the UK will be foreign to Canadians, and what they reflect on nostalgically will be foreign to you. The way people socialize in public and behind closed doors privately is different. Etc. You will need to adapt your UK habits and transition and adjust into new Canadian habits.

Again, these are subtle differences. A move to Canada is not a move to Mongolia, but these subtle cultural differences will exist.

Let's say you arrive in Canada. You secure your dream job. You secure your dream home. Will you and your family be ready to embrace living immersed in a different society that is quite different from UK society? Are you looking for that kind of cultural change? Those expectations must be there before considering a move to Canada in my opinion.

My ramble there is mainly to play devil's advocate, but to also set expectations. Again, I do emphasize, you sound absolutely lovely and I do believe you are going about your research in the right way. If you're the easy-going sort and move to Canada with an open mind ready for new experiences, you could have a very happy family life in Canada.

Jerseygirl

I wouldn't buy a home here until you are a PR. Admittedly we bought 2 condos before PR...but since then some Provinces have stepped up taxes to prevent overseas buyers pushing up property prices.

Look into healthcare insurance (its required for the SV)...for both living here and for a long vacation. For 70s it may be a deciding factor. It will also cover you for emgencies only...which means they patch you up and then you have to go home for further treatment. This happened to a friend visiting relatives for 3 months...she went to the ER...was admitted and after tests was advised to return to the UK for further treatment (cancer).

Rete

I've read this with interest and the many well balanced and thoughtful replies you've been offered. I'm not Canadian but American and my Canadian husband chose to live in the US instead of my going to Canada (he hates snow). I'm just shy of 70 and he is well over it.

He fell in love with the southern state of Mississippi when we came to visit my daughter who lives down here. Hubby wanted to live here and so when he retired he moved to Mississippi and I stayed in NY for several years alone while I continued to work to reach the retirement age. Last year, I finally moved to Mississippi.

I felt, while I didn't like the state, at least I had my daughter and my 3 grandchildren and my husband here. Surprise. I live 3 miles from my daughter and while we were always close and we visited twice a year when I lived in NY, I see her perhaps once every 10 to 15 days and talk with her only when I pick up the phone. Why? Not because there isn't love there but because she has a life with her husband and children and work and after school games for the boys and her daughter all of whom play either football, baseball or soccer. There isn't time in her busy day to be seeing Mom daily or every other day or to be picking up the phone daily. She had lived down here with her family for many years before we moved down. They have established a life with church, family, friends, activities all of which do not involve parents who lived 1500 miles away. It was wrong of me to think that we would be an easy inclusion into their lives and that I could be helpful to her with the kids and running errands. We are still what we have always been: parents who are loved and who they visit for special occasions or when we issue an invite and they have the free time to accept.

It is not wise to think you will be heavily involved in your children's lives. They have started lives with spouses and children and you have been pigeon holed into the slot marked "loved, respected and happy to see on visits". As difficult as it is to have them living on another continent, they have moved more than geographically. They have moved emotionally. That is the hardest thing to find out.

Why not take advantage of a few long visits to Canada to stay with them. Six to eight weeks will tell you a lot about whether you can seamlessly reinsert yourself into her new life. Go in the summer and go again in deep winter. You really need to experience the deep winters of Canada before you seriously consider a permanent move.

The best of everything to you.

Shakyuk

I think Not2Old sums up my thoughts on this. The kids growing up and old folks getting in the way comments whilst may not be particularly nice to hear, are often quite true even with best intentions.


I was very close to my grand parents which admittedly was very nice but I used them as an escape from a troubled home life. All of my cousins on the other hand had 'normal' home lives and as such as they got older the visits to grand parents became very infrequent, sometimes only a couple of times a year.


I've read a few times on this forum that people spend more quality time with their friends/relatives when visiting than when they lived close by. I think when it's a visit, both parties feel a desire to make a real effort to make the most of your time together.


If you can continue to make the 3-6 month annual trips then I'd continue to do that, it must be a pain but in my opinion it's the best of both worlds.


Either way I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide. There's a wealth of knowledge around the forum, stick around and let us know how you get on

Principled

Wow, so many posters to thank. So much sound advice. Where do I start? Firstly, I'd like to thank the new posters- Dorothy, Lychee, Jerseygirl and Rete for their valuable input. Many of the points they raise have been buzzing around my head since we began considering whether or not to make the move to Canada.
We've been 3 times to Canada in winter and genuinely do worry about how we would fill our time. My wife and I walk and cycle to keep fit- but when it's 40 below that's not really an option outside. Our answer (in our head) is we would visit our son on the US west coast (ie become a snowbird, I think they call it), or visit southern Europe (from where my wife comes from). But whether that would really be an option as we get older is questionable. BTW, we went this summer and discovered Canadian "mosquitoes", but- thankfully- never encountered any ticks!
Rete also made a good point about seeing her daughter ("I see her perhaps once every 10 to 15 days and talk with her only when I pick up the phone. Why? Not because there isn't love there but because she has a life with her husband and children and work and after school games..."). Our daughter Skype's us every 7-10 days or so. Her life is hectic. How would we feel if having moved to Canada we discover that contact is no more frequent? My wife and I have discussed this scenario at length, and still don't know the answer!
Jerseygirl mentioned health insurance- that for me is one of the biggest issues (if no PR were forthcoming). A close relative of mine has just been diagnosed with cancer, and so the thought of having to fund such treatment ourselves came to the fore.
Lychee mentioned cultural differences. We have noted these as well. In one way we are lucky as my wife and I have both lived abroad when we were younger. But we would be moving to an area in Western-Central Canada with sparse populations, where some have never left the region and many have not visited other countries. Discussing in any depth things outside of their experience that we hold dear (heritage, European history, ancient buildings, cricket(!) etc) will be challenging. But the onus is on us to adapt to their culture. Unfortunately, without trying it we will never know if we can.
Not2old also made a salient point about people moving. My daughter has been in Canada 7 years and in that time has moved houses about 6 times! Thankfully, all within 90 miles. We haven't moved in over 30 years, so moving once for us will be a big thing. Having to move yet again having established ourselves would be problematic.
I could waffle on forever. So I'll sign off and say thanks for all the advice it has been a great help.

not2old

given the responses to your OP, in your shoes I would proceed as follows

- apply for the super visa, who knows if you get it

- should you get the visa, then & only then can you make your decision to 'shall we, shan't we'

Likely that you have already checked out the basics on the super visa?

I checked the Canada immigration website for processing times that indicates they are currently working on applications made in January 2014

Check application processing times

eligibility?

Determine your eligibility� –� Visit your children or grandchildren

Tirytory

Great post!

Leaving children aside, are you living your ideal retirement now? What was your dream when you retired?

Principled

Thanks for the post Shakyuk, it's a hard call. Up to now we've spent 6 weeks on each visit (mainly because of travel health insurance). However,for many reasons (4 lively grandkids under 9 years can be exhausting; having your mum/dad living with you 24/7 for months at a time is not ideal ; lack of independence due to no public transport etc) we found this stay length was just about right. However, this parachuting in an out of our grandkids' lives means that just as they are getting used to us being around it's time for us to go. I think staying longer would be better for them, but I really think we would need our own "space" (ie place to sleep and "escape" to ), which then opens up another can of worms in terms of additional costs, insurance, general upkeep etc. etc.
On the subject of non-visa 6 month stays, I have wondered if immigration officers would start to question why we were staying for 4/5 months, leaving for 1-2months and then returning. Would/could immigration call "time" on this and refuse entry based on the grounds that we are trying to evade residency rules? I suspect my fears are groundless, but they have been in the back of my mind- which is why I then started thinking about the SV route and more permanency.

Not2old- Thanks for the links. Putting in the basic SV details it says that the London wait is 69 days. We'll see if that's true when I start the process later this year. Anyway, I'll keep the forum updated on any progress and any things that I note along the way.
Thanks again
P

Jerseygirl

If you tried to spend more months of the year in Canada than outside Canada...then yes it would be viewed as trying to live here. You may get away with it for a while. You also have to consider taxes...if you spend "x" number of days per year in Canada you will have to file Canadian taxes. Just because you are not a resident as far as immigration is concerned...doesn't mean you are not a tax resident and liable for Canadian taxes.

not2old

which brings us the the financial/income requirements

FWIW

Applying for Visitor Visa (Temporary Resident Visa – IMM� 5256)

2 adults + 4 children + 2 grans = 8 people requires family income for the sponsors of $71,729.....erm?

not2old

you may wish to check of that again. From the CIC website processing times. I went to the Canada mission in London UK & it still gave me the following


Parents or grandparents

"Working on applications received in January 2014?
Visit Canada sooner with a Super Visa!

View your application status online

If you applied before January, 2014 be sure you have responded to all communication from IRCC."

Aviator

Tax residency rules https://www.canada.ca/en/revenue-age...cy-status.html

Principled

Hi Not2old, Have checked again. The Family sponsorship does say 2014, but when you click:
What are you applying for? and select visiting, studying etc a sub box opens which allows you to select Super Visa. The process time then says 69 days.

I hope that's correct!

P

Principled

Tirytory, you pose a couple of difficult questions.
I'm not sure we had a dream at retirement, it was more a freedom to go where (not necessarily great distances) and when (ie not just Sat or Sun or holidays) we wanted and do things when and how we wanted. In that respect we've been very lucky as we've been fit enough to be able to achieve those goals without any problems. We never really did the sort of crystal ball gazing and planning we did when we were young, it was more about the present.

But for us life has never been just about having experiences,it has always been about sharing those experiences with our family. Other couples of our age don't feel the same. Some think they've "done their bit for the family" and have emigrated to warmer climes to live THEIR lives, leaving behind their children and grandchildren. I'm sure that if had we been of that mindset, we would now be drinking a Bloody Mary on some golden beach and this thread would not exist. But we aren't, which is why it is difficult to "Leave the kids aside".

We stayed put as we felt we had a supportive role to play in our families' lives. Now they have emigrated we need a new plan, one we could never have foreseen and one which has major repercussions on our lives. Hence our need for others' viewpoints so that we know that on deciding which way to "jump" we have considered all the angles.
P