For those who are scared about the move....
Jun 18th 2006, 10:52 am
#1
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: Sydney but also lived in Melbourne
Posts: 221
For those who are scared about the move....
Ok, this is our update at nearly 6 months in.........
I am the partner of the member Scared who has posted on here when we moved and I wanted to update things so people know what it is like to move over here when you do have serious doubts. For those who want to know how bad it got, just do a search for posts by "scared" and you will see it has not been easy. http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=348535
We moved out here right at the end of December and my OH was worried before we moved so much so that we were having doubts before we moved about whether we should even do the move. We both had jobs to come to but I started at the start of Jan and Scared started as a teacher at the end of January. Scared found it REALLY hard so much so that we were at the point of booking flights back to the UK and ship the pets back until I could get back with the furniture at the end of my job on the Commonwealth Games.
In the end we worked through it and she did agree that we would leave it until the end of the year and see what happens. She did go through the doctor route and found a fab doctor who prescribed anti-depressants and talked to her that "it was all normal" and to give it time. We both knew that I have enjoyed most of it from the start which has made it quite difficult but we both agreed that we would do what we needed to do and if that involved going back to the UK then I would do it.
We use Skype and Messenger every week and have arranged time to talk to people who are important to us in the UK. Scared has not been able to talk to some people but we are slowly getting through everyone. We have wrote and emailed everyone to say it has been hard and we will talk to them in the end but that we are OK. For those who are leaving kids behind in the UK, they will be OK if you are totally honest with them, things can be OK. We talk on Messenger every week to my kids and send things to them every month. Birthdays are hard but we do all we can to make them special with parcels of things that they can't get in the UK.
The biggest thing we have found is to talk about things, don't bottle it up, finding it hard is NORMAL and just see what happens. If you decide you like it, you can stay, if you don't like it you can always go back but at least you have done it.
We have made sure we have been out and about and seen everything we can, we have been to the Tennis, Commonwealth Games, yarra valley, Great Ocean Road, Sydney, Brisbane etc so we have tried to see the sights and enjoy what we have.
Well, where are we up to and are we going to stay.....
Well things have got loads better, Scared is off the tablets and has been signed off by the doc. She was very worried about seeing the doc as she felt she had failed but it just helped her (and us) through a very hard time but now we have agreed that we are going to give it a go and we are now looking for a house to buy.
Are we going to stay forever.... I have to say it has been one of the hardest 6 months of our relationship but we have tried hard to keep it together and have come out of it stronger but will we stay well we don't know but at least if we don't we will have tried and decided it is not for us.
Sorry for a rambling post but if in doubt, try it and you might just like it. If it helps anyone who is not sure then I have succeeded!!
If anyone has doubts, just PM us and we will be as honest as we can.
I am the partner of the member Scared who has posted on here when we moved and I wanted to update things so people know what it is like to move over here when you do have serious doubts. For those who want to know how bad it got, just do a search for posts by "scared" and you will see it has not been easy. http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=348535
We moved out here right at the end of December and my OH was worried before we moved so much so that we were having doubts before we moved about whether we should even do the move. We both had jobs to come to but I started at the start of Jan and Scared started as a teacher at the end of January. Scared found it REALLY hard so much so that we were at the point of booking flights back to the UK and ship the pets back until I could get back with the furniture at the end of my job on the Commonwealth Games.
In the end we worked through it and she did agree that we would leave it until the end of the year and see what happens. She did go through the doctor route and found a fab doctor who prescribed anti-depressants and talked to her that "it was all normal" and to give it time. We both knew that I have enjoyed most of it from the start which has made it quite difficult but we both agreed that we would do what we needed to do and if that involved going back to the UK then I would do it.
We use Skype and Messenger every week and have arranged time to talk to people who are important to us in the UK. Scared has not been able to talk to some people but we are slowly getting through everyone. We have wrote and emailed everyone to say it has been hard and we will talk to them in the end but that we are OK. For those who are leaving kids behind in the UK, they will be OK if you are totally honest with them, things can be OK. We talk on Messenger every week to my kids and send things to them every month. Birthdays are hard but we do all we can to make them special with parcels of things that they can't get in the UK.
The biggest thing we have found is to talk about things, don't bottle it up, finding it hard is NORMAL and just see what happens. If you decide you like it, you can stay, if you don't like it you can always go back but at least you have done it.
We have made sure we have been out and about and seen everything we can, we have been to the Tennis, Commonwealth Games, yarra valley, Great Ocean Road, Sydney, Brisbane etc so we have tried to see the sights and enjoy what we have.
Well, where are we up to and are we going to stay.....
Well things have got loads better, Scared is off the tablets and has been signed off by the doc. She was very worried about seeing the doc as she felt she had failed but it just helped her (and us) through a very hard time but now we have agreed that we are going to give it a go and we are now looking for a house to buy.
Are we going to stay forever.... I have to say it has been one of the hardest 6 months of our relationship but we have tried hard to keep it together and have come out of it stronger but will we stay well we don't know but at least if we don't we will have tried and decided it is not for us.
Sorry for a rambling post but if in doubt, try it and you might just like it. If it helps anyone who is not sure then I have succeeded!!
If anyone has doubts, just PM us and we will be as honest as we can.
Last edited by andrewb; Jun 18th 2006 at 11:05 am.
Jun 18th 2006, 10:56 am
#2
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Apr 2006
Location: Ballarat
Posts: 7,005
Re: For those who are scared about the move....
What a good post. I wish you luck for the future.
Mandy
Mandy
Jun 18th 2006, 11:36 am
#3
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2006
Location: Perth
Posts: 107
Re: For those who are scared about the move....
Great post! Gives us some ups for moments where we are in doubt 
And as you said - what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger! Even if one day you pack your things, you did go down under and tried - that is more than many people do with their dreams!
All the best to you and Scared!!!
GreenSauce and her Engineer
And as you said - what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger! Even if one day you pack your things, you did go down under and tried - that is more than many people do with their dreams!
All the best to you and Scared!!!
GreenSauce and her Engineer
Jun 18th 2006, 12:27 pm
#4
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Sep 2004
Location: Somerly, Perth
Posts: 652
Re: For those who are scared about the move....
Excellent post
I think half the battle is admitting things are not Ok then you are half way to doing something about it, hope you continue to settle but like others have said, at least you have had the guts to try it.
Di
I think half the battle is admitting things are not Ok then you are half way to doing something about it, hope you continue to settle but like others have said, at least you have had the guts to try it.
Di
Jun 18th 2006, 12:47 pm
#5
visa holder
Joined: Jan 2006
Location: Thornlands, Bayside
Posts: 1,964
Re: For those who are scared about the move....
Fab post. Hopefully you are over the worst now and things will get much better. All the best with your house buy and the future.
Joex
Joex
Jun 18th 2006, 8:00 pm
#6
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 323
Re: For those who are scared about the move....
Great post.
I think so many people dont talk about how they are feeling and keep it bottled up for fear of letting the other person down. Good on you for sticking it out, only wish we would have. We (I) only gave it three months in 1997 and we are now in the process of moving back, to Melbourne hopefully, (visa granted 3 weeks ago just waiting to sell house).
Good luck and stick in there. We are hoping to move to Caroline Springs haven't heard anyone say anything about it on here, any info would be good.
Ta
Sandra
x
I think so many people dont talk about how they are feeling and keep it bottled up for fear of letting the other person down. Good on you for sticking it out, only wish we would have. We (I) only gave it three months in 1997 and we are now in the process of moving back, to Melbourne hopefully, (visa granted 3 weeks ago just waiting to sell house).
Good luck and stick in there. We are hoping to move to Caroline Springs haven't heard anyone say anything about it on here, any info would be good.
Ta
Sandra
x
Jun 18th 2006, 8:21 pm
#7
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2004
Location: in a place near the river and the sea where the sun always shines
Posts: 3,155
Re: For those who are scared about the move....
andrew, what a greta post, havent seen you around for ages and now i can see why!!! sounds like its been extremely tough for you both but it looks like you have come through it together.
good luck and be happy both of you
debbie
good luck and be happy both of you
debbie
Jun 18th 2006, 9:30 pm
#8
Just Joined
Joined: May 2006
Location: Milton Keynes UK.
Posts: 9
Re: For those who are scared about the move....
Great post Andrew - Thankyou for sharing that.
Honest open posts like this give hope to those of us who still have to make the final bold move across the world. We are in the position of getting closer to making the final move but with three kids we have periods of doubt - the what if it doesn't workout mentality starts creeping in.
My OH is a Teacher and just recently she has been researching the site for posts about the job situation Down Under. Many are not very encouraging so the doubts creep in. Obviously we both need to work for the family.
Hope the future is bright and happy for both of you.
Honest open posts like this give hope to those of us who still have to make the final bold move across the world. We are in the position of getting closer to making the final move but with three kids we have periods of doubt - the what if it doesn't workout mentality starts creeping in.
My OH is a Teacher and just recently she has been researching the site for posts about the job situation Down Under. Many are not very encouraging so the doubts creep in. Obviously we both need to work for the family.
Hope the future is bright and happy for both of you.
Jun 18th 2006, 11:05 pm
#9
Chocoholic
Joined: Apr 2005
Location: Betchworth, Surrey.
Posts: 2,899
Re: For those who are scared about the move....
Thanks for a very good and honest post Andrew.
I, too have been having doubts and I'm not even there yet
Good luck to you and your family.
Julie. x
I, too have been having doubts and I'm not even there yet
Good luck to you and your family.
Julie. x
Jun 19th 2006, 3:16 am
#10
Forum Regular
Joined: May 2006
Location: Sunshine Coast, Australia
Posts: 222
Re: For those who are scared about the move....
Originally Posted by andrewb
Ok, this is our update at nearly 6 months in.........
I am the partner of the member Scared who has posted on here when we moved and I wanted to update things so people know what it is like to move over here when you do have serious doubts. For those who want to know how bad it got, just do a search for posts by "scared" and you will see it has not been easy. http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=348535
We moved out here right at the end of December and my OH was worried before we moved so much so that we were having doubts before we moved about whether we should even do the move. We both had jobs to come to but I started at the start of Jan and Scared started as a teacher at the end of January. Scared found it REALLY hard so much so that we were at the point of booking flights back to the UK and ship the pets back until I could get back with the furniture at the end of my job on the Commonwealth Games.
In the end we worked through it and she did agree that we would leave it until the end of the year and see what happens. She did go through the doctor route and found a fab doctor who prescribed anti-depressants and talked to her that "it was all normal" and to give it time. We both knew that I have enjoyed most of it from the start which has made it quite difficult but we both agreed that we would do what we needed to do and if that involved going back to the UK then I would do it.
We use Skype and Messenger every week and have arranged time to talk to people who are important to us in the UK. Scared has not been able to talk to some people but we are slowly getting through everyone. We have wrote and emailed everyone to say it has been hard and we will talk to them in the end but that we are OK. For those who are leaving kids behind in the UK, they will be OK if you are totally honest with them, things can be OK. We talk on Messenger every week to my kids and send things to them every month. Birthdays are hard but we do all we can to make them special with parcels of things that they can't get in the UK.
The biggest thing we have found is to talk about things, don't bottle it up, finding it hard is NORMAL and just see what happens. If you decide you like it, you can stay, if you don't like it you can always go back but at least you have done it.
We have made sure we have been out and about and seen everything we can, we have been to the Tennis, Commonwealth Games, yarra valley, Great Ocean Road, Sydney, Brisbane etc so we have tried to see the sights and enjoy what we have.
Well, where are we up to and are we going to stay.....
Well things have got loads better, Scared is off the tablets and has been signed off by the doc. She was very worried about seeing the doc as she felt she had failed but it just helped her (and us) through a very hard time but now we have agreed that we are going to give it a go and we are now looking for a house to buy.
Are we going to stay forever.... I have to say it has been one of the hardest 6 months of our relationship but we have tried hard to keep it together and have come out of it stronger but will we stay well we don't know but at least if we don't we will have tried and decided it is not for us.
Sorry for a rambling post but if in doubt, try it and you might just like it. If it helps anyone who is not sure then I have succeeded!!
If anyone has doubts, just PM us and we will be as honest as we can.
I am the partner of the member Scared who has posted on here when we moved and I wanted to update things so people know what it is like to move over here when you do have serious doubts. For those who want to know how bad it got, just do a search for posts by "scared" and you will see it has not been easy. http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=348535
We moved out here right at the end of December and my OH was worried before we moved so much so that we were having doubts before we moved about whether we should even do the move. We both had jobs to come to but I started at the start of Jan and Scared started as a teacher at the end of January. Scared found it REALLY hard so much so that we were at the point of booking flights back to the UK and ship the pets back until I could get back with the furniture at the end of my job on the Commonwealth Games.
In the end we worked through it and she did agree that we would leave it until the end of the year and see what happens. She did go through the doctor route and found a fab doctor who prescribed anti-depressants and talked to her that "it was all normal" and to give it time. We both knew that I have enjoyed most of it from the start which has made it quite difficult but we both agreed that we would do what we needed to do and if that involved going back to the UK then I would do it.
We use Skype and Messenger every week and have arranged time to talk to people who are important to us in the UK. Scared has not been able to talk to some people but we are slowly getting through everyone. We have wrote and emailed everyone to say it has been hard and we will talk to them in the end but that we are OK. For those who are leaving kids behind in the UK, they will be OK if you are totally honest with them, things can be OK. We talk on Messenger every week to my kids and send things to them every month. Birthdays are hard but we do all we can to make them special with parcels of things that they can't get in the UK.
The biggest thing we have found is to talk about things, don't bottle it up, finding it hard is NORMAL and just see what happens. If you decide you like it, you can stay, if you don't like it you can always go back but at least you have done it.
We have made sure we have been out and about and seen everything we can, we have been to the Tennis, Commonwealth Games, yarra valley, Great Ocean Road, Sydney, Brisbane etc so we have tried to see the sights and enjoy what we have.
Well, where are we up to and are we going to stay.....
Well things have got loads better, Scared is off the tablets and has been signed off by the doc. She was very worried about seeing the doc as she felt she had failed but it just helped her (and us) through a very hard time but now we have agreed that we are going to give it a go and we are now looking for a house to buy.
Are we going to stay forever.... I have to say it has been one of the hardest 6 months of our relationship but we have tried hard to keep it together and have come out of it stronger but will we stay well we don't know but at least if we don't we will have tried and decided it is not for us.
Sorry for a rambling post but if in doubt, try it and you might just like it. If it helps anyone who is not sure then I have succeeded!!
If anyone has doubts, just PM us and we will be as honest as we can.
All the best,
JDT
Jun 19th 2006, 7:54 am
#11
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2005
Location: Poole, Dorset
Posts: 1,217
Re: For those who are scared about the move....
Thanks for a great post.
I hope it works out well for you both.
I hope it works out well for you both.
Jun 19th 2006, 12:42 pm
#12
Oiiii.. You slaggg!
Joined: Feb 2004
Location: Brisbaneshire
Posts: 5,209
Re: For those who are scared about the move....
Originally Posted by andrewb
Ok, this is our update at nearly 6 months in.........
I am the partner of the member Scared who has posted on here when we moved and I wanted to update things so people know what it is like to move over here when you do have serious doubts. For those who want to know how bad it got, just do a search for posts by "scared" and you will see it has not been easy. http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=348535
We moved out here right at the end of December and my OH was worried before we moved so much so that we were having doubts before we moved about whether we should even do the move. We both had jobs to come to but I started at the start of Jan and Scared started as a teacher at the end of January. Scared found it REALLY hard so much so that we were at the point of booking flights back to the UK and ship the pets back until I could get back with the furniture at the end of my job on the Commonwealth Games.
In the end we worked through it and she did agree that we would leave it until the end of the year and see what happens. She did go through the doctor route and found a fab doctor who prescribed anti-depressants and talked to her that "it was all normal" and to give it time. We both knew that I have enjoyed most of it from the start which has made it quite difficult but we both agreed that we would do what we needed to do and if that involved going back to the UK then I would do it.
We use Skype and Messenger every week and have arranged time to talk to people who are important to us in the UK. Scared has not been able to talk to some people but we are slowly getting through everyone. We have wrote and emailed everyone to say it has been hard and we will talk to them in the end but that we are OK. For those who are leaving kids behind in the UK, they will be OK if you are totally honest with them, things can be OK. We talk on Messenger every week to my kids and send things to them every month. Birthdays are hard but we do all we can to make them special with parcels of things that they can't get in the UK.
The biggest thing we have found is to talk about things, don't bottle it up, finding it hard is NORMAL and just see what happens. If you decide you like it, you can stay, if you don't like it you can always go back but at least you have done it.
We have made sure we have been out and about and seen everything we can, we have been to the Tennis, Commonwealth Games, yarra valley, Great Ocean Road, Sydney, Brisbane etc so we have tried to see the sights and enjoy what we have.
Well, where are we up to and are we going to stay.....
Well things have got loads better, Scared is off the tablets and has been signed off by the doc. She was very worried about seeing the doc as she felt she had failed but it just helped her (and us) through a very hard time but now we have agreed that we are going to give it a go and we are now looking for a house to buy.
Are we going to stay forever.... I have to say it has been one of the hardest 6 months of our relationship but we have tried hard to keep it together and have come out of it stronger but will we stay well we don't know but at least if we don't we will have tried and decided it is not for us.
Sorry for a rambling post but if in doubt, try it and you might just like it. If it helps anyone who is not sure then I have succeeded!!
If anyone has doubts, just PM us and we will be as honest as we can.
I am the partner of the member Scared who has posted on here when we moved and I wanted to update things so people know what it is like to move over here when you do have serious doubts. For those who want to know how bad it got, just do a search for posts by "scared" and you will see it has not been easy. http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=348535
We moved out here right at the end of December and my OH was worried before we moved so much so that we were having doubts before we moved about whether we should even do the move. We both had jobs to come to but I started at the start of Jan and Scared started as a teacher at the end of January. Scared found it REALLY hard so much so that we were at the point of booking flights back to the UK and ship the pets back until I could get back with the furniture at the end of my job on the Commonwealth Games.
In the end we worked through it and she did agree that we would leave it until the end of the year and see what happens. She did go through the doctor route and found a fab doctor who prescribed anti-depressants and talked to her that "it was all normal" and to give it time. We both knew that I have enjoyed most of it from the start which has made it quite difficult but we both agreed that we would do what we needed to do and if that involved going back to the UK then I would do it.
We use Skype and Messenger every week and have arranged time to talk to people who are important to us in the UK. Scared has not been able to talk to some people but we are slowly getting through everyone. We have wrote and emailed everyone to say it has been hard and we will talk to them in the end but that we are OK. For those who are leaving kids behind in the UK, they will be OK if you are totally honest with them, things can be OK. We talk on Messenger every week to my kids and send things to them every month. Birthdays are hard but we do all we can to make them special with parcels of things that they can't get in the UK.
The biggest thing we have found is to talk about things, don't bottle it up, finding it hard is NORMAL and just see what happens. If you decide you like it, you can stay, if you don't like it you can always go back but at least you have done it.
We have made sure we have been out and about and seen everything we can, we have been to the Tennis, Commonwealth Games, yarra valley, Great Ocean Road, Sydney, Brisbane etc so we have tried to see the sights and enjoy what we have.
Well, where are we up to and are we going to stay.....
Well things have got loads better, Scared is off the tablets and has been signed off by the doc. She was very worried about seeing the doc as she felt she had failed but it just helped her (and us) through a very hard time but now we have agreed that we are going to give it a go and we are now looking for a house to buy.
Are we going to stay forever.... I have to say it has been one of the hardest 6 months of our relationship but we have tried hard to keep it together and have come out of it stronger but will we stay well we don't know but at least if we don't we will have tried and decided it is not for us.
Sorry for a rambling post but if in doubt, try it and you might just like it. If it helps anyone who is not sure then I have succeeded!!
If anyone has doubts, just PM us and we will be as honest as we can.
I'm glad that you've got through the hardest times. It can only get better I suppose?
Good luck.
