ellen1008

Hi I have been married for over 20 yrs but unhappily for the last 10.
I suffer from depression and have found it hard to find the courage to end the relationship.Anyhow I am feeling that this relationship is part of my problem and want to leave.
We have been in Australia for 7 years and are citizens.However for the last 2 years here in QLD I havent worked so am wondering how hard it will be to find a rental and make ends meet etc.My kids are older at 14 and 19.
I do have some savings to start with and if we ever sell our house will have enough to pay rent for a few years.Hopefully I will also be able to find work too

Has anyone else left their partner and wasnt working? how did you keep going,support yourself and did you find somewhere to rent etc

I have no friends or family to help at all.So will have to do this alone

quoll

You will probably find a Women's Information and Referral Centre somewhere close to you. They. Will be able to put you on track for courses to help you retrain or at least get back on the employment track and they can also help you out with any benefits you may be able to access.

Sorry your relationship has gone pear shaped and you are facing this alone!

dave99

Sorry to hear things are rough. I have been in a similar situation, I seperated from my partner of 16 years and it was very very tough on many levels. It hadnt been a good relationship for many years and neither of us knew how to fix it. So we tried a seperation and have just stayed apart since then. We still keep in touch and things are amicable enough. But it is really hard when you have spent so much of your life with someone. Its taken me a long time to just become my own individual person again, to remember who I was before I became a 'us' or 'we'. I have floundered all over the place, moving back to the uk first, then back to perth and now to melbourne. Finding work has been difficult each time. I am hoping this will be the last move and I can finally settle, but I have a feeling melbourne is still not right for me.

Regarding finding a rental, you wont have any problems as long as you can show you have savings to pay the deposit and cover the rent for a few months. They really dont mind if your working or not, they only care about the money.

I can give you answers to the more practical questions, finding a rental will be the easyest part, a job will depend on your experience and location, start looking on Seek.com.

I dont have all the answers as I havent got to a good place yet myself , but if your not happy and you feel its not working then you have to change something.
Its going to be a tough time, but you can and you will get through it, then eventually hopefully things will work out for the better for you.

spouse of scouse

Hi Ellen, I'm sorry that you're unhappy right now, but I'm also happy for you that you have a plan to get that happiness back - good for you

I think it would be a good idea for you to have a look at what income support you'll be eligible for from Centrelink while you're looking for work. You'll be eligible for some additional support for your 14 year old if he/she is moving with you. Similarly if your 19 year old is coming with you and is studying full time - if not hopefully they are working and can chip in for expenses, or if they're looking for work claim an income support payment in their own right. Once you have an idea of what you'll have to live on till your get a job, other decisions will be easier.

I'm in a slightly different situation to you, in that I was married for 32 years and had a good job when I left my husband. The job made it a bit easier, but it was still bloody hard. But although I still have the physical scars, I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life. Met the scouser quite by accident 6 years ago, have been married to him for 18 months, and life is bloody wonderful! As it will be for you too Ellen. You have my best wishes.

sasbear

Hi ellen,

I wanted to just add that this is a hard decision but hopefully it is what will work out for the best. I wanted to wish you luck and say you have courage and all you need is determination.

I too have been there but I was lucky enough to have a good job at the time.

Hang in there and go online or to Centrelink - lots of information on couples that are splitting up.

Sarah xx

ellen1008

Thankyou soo much to all who have replied

It means a great deal to know others have been through it too and some very helpful advice too.