Part 2
When I woke up after spending 21 days in an induced coma during I didn’t know why, what, where or who, but I had a massive scar running from my throat to halfway down my stomach. I couldn’t talk as there was a tube in my throat and I was totally disorientated. I had bandages like boxing gloves on my hands and people were around my bed. I recognised Angie and the kids and my sister. My brother and two of my sisters had gone back home to Scotland and I never even saw them. There were celtic magazines and books by my bedside, which was the evidence that they had actually been in Aus. My memory was shot to bits and for some reason I thought I drove a big black 4x4 when it was actually a gold wagon. I couldn’t remember names in my phone and would get ratty when Angie tried to convince me that I knew these people.

Why did my bandages resemble boxing gloves? Well I was prone to pulling out my tubes, which wasn't very clever as the alarms would go off and a crash team would rush into my room to put the tubes back in. This happened on numerous occasions so the staff decided to put these on and tape me to the bed. However being a determined soul I slid down the bed, loosened the tape with my teeth, pulled off the gloves and pulled out the tubes. After that they decided to wheel my bed into the corridor so they could keep their eyes on me. So there I was, lying in the corridor with a sitter beside me for 24 hours a day.

It's around this time that I begin to realise what is actually going on and my memory slowly begins to return. I recite a phone number and realise its not an 0141 number (Glasgow) and its at this point that Angie tells me we are in Australia. The memory returns slowly but I'm still very ill. My mind is returning but the body is not up to much. A nurse asks me one day if I can shower unaided. Of course I can says I. What do you think I am? I move my legs out the bed and stand, only for my legs to give way and land me right on my arse.  I was totally embarrassed and managed to drag myself to the bathroom where I hugged the toilet bowl sweating. My first thought was "shit. I'm paralyzed" and at this point I recall being scared.

It was all about getting better but god it was a long road. Every day Angie brought the kids to the hospital. They would go to a small school within the hospital to get some sense of normality and then come and see me in the afternoon. I was given an etch-o-sketch to communicate with and eventually I was moved out of the "sick" ward and downstairs to the rehab ward.

One night when Angie was wheeling me around the hospital, we passed a drinks machine. "I've to get one of they drinks, it’s okay as long as it’s an isotonic drink" I told her. "No chance" says Angie. "Honest." says I. "I'll kill you if you’re lying" she says and buys me a berry drink. When I say nectar, I'm not telling a lie. I drank this with no side effects and repeated this event the next night guzzling the lime version. Did I get shit from the dieticians on the Monday. Back to the puree for me and x-rays to check where the juice had gone. Bloody self importance if you ask me which was a sign I was on the road back as I know best as opposed to professionals who have trained for years in their field. This time the gamble paid off and I was correct. Lucky, Angie called it but anyway it was immaterial.

I look like a bag of bones and I'm now desperate to get home to Mackay. I've started my rehab, but up and down a gym hall and I'm jiggered. A psychology student visits me and gets the sharp end of my tongue for trying to treat me like an imbecile. She wanted me to try out her simple (really easy) memory test and I refused telling her I wasn’t some performing seal. Her boss visits me and asks to do IQ tests but sets the bar higher because I have a degree. "That’s cheating" says I, and proceed to get an average score. I'm pulling all sorts of excuses out of the hat and manage to scrape by. Considering at this stage, I still don’t know if its New Year or New York, I think I'm doing well. Basically she needs to give me the nod before I can get home so the charm is turned on and again, it works.