Vgianninoto

Hi everyone,

Just introducing myself! I'm Victoria, I live in NY and I'm contemplating moving back to the UK. I've been here for the last 12 years with my American husband and we now have 2 kids. Looking to move back so I can teach and maybe save for retirement!!

Rete

Hi Victoria and welcome to BE

So the time has come for you to return to the UK. The Moving Back to the UK forum is just right for you. Lots of returning and returned Brits have made that forum and its sub-forums the place to find out all you need to return to the UK as unscattered as possible. Please have a quick read of the site rules linked on the above beige header before posting here: Moving back to the UK - British Expats

Before you leave the US, I'm assuming your children are dual citizens of the US and the UK. Have you thought about naturalizing before you leave so that if the kids return to the US at some point in their lives, you would have an easier time coming back to live here to be with them and possible grandkids?

Either way, good luck in your return trip.

Vgianninoto

Hi! I am a permanent resident so as long as I keep up with that shouldn't I be ok? One of the huge reasons I'm thinking of returning to the UK is that it is so expensive to live where we live. Another expense would kill me!! LOL

Rete

Nope. A PR status can only be maintained if you continue to live in the US. You are not going to be doing that by returning to live in the UK and obtaining a spousal visa for your husband to live and work there. We don't want to kill you, but those are the rules/laws.

For more information on what constitutes PR continued status in the US, please go to the USA forums.

Vgianninoto

Ahhh ok that makes sense. Well my husband isn't really a fan of my plan so it looks like we're staying put.

Pulaski

Sorry to hear that - I don't suppose he'd move within the US either then? ..... We tried NY but the costs drove us away. I could just barely afford a mortgage on a house, .... but not $1,000/mth property taxes on top. So we left, in 2002, and never looked back.

BTW welcome to BE.

Vgianninoto

We tried PA years ago and it went horribly wrong. We bought a house right before the market crashed and that had devastating consequences. We moved back to NY (Long Island) after that and although we both have good jobs I am sick of the amount in rent we pay and the fact that we can never get ahead. I love it here but I'm scared we're never going to be able to retire or have anything to leave our kids. Medical costs and the fact that vacation time is pretty much non existent really gets me down as I have medical issues so all my time goes to doctors appointments. I may look into trying to get a state job as hat may help in the future. I just feel like I'm not getting ahead.

Pulaski

Sorry, but I think you need a reality check - if you can't afford to buy a home and can't afford to save then you really don't have good jobs.

The cost of living in NY is insane. .... I know, I tried it, (I also had a "good job") and it took me less than six months from stepping off the plane to realize that if we stayed in NY (commuting into Manhattan from Westchester Co), that I would have been condemned to spending the rest of my career spending every waking moment, 5 days a week, either at work, or commuting to and from work, and trying to recover on weekends, and that every penny I had would have to go to our mortgage. After 30 years all I would have (in investments) would be our house.

A short discussion with Mrs P, she agreed, and we said "Enough!" and committed to leaving, and we did, a couple of months later, without jobs to go to. We packed everything we had into a Penske truck, and the back of our Mustang, and left New York. I have never regretted the decision, not for a minute.

Vgianninoto

Thank you for your opinion but we do have good jobs. We have medical bills that we are paying because of my health issues and my sons and we are being responsible. When those bills, rent and are other bills are paid then we have money to pay for groceries and for our kids to each do one extra curricular activity. I was asking for advice not opinions on what we spend our money on or for a reality check. I live with a serious medical condition so I am very much living in reality. We live in ny because my husbands family is here and we like it. Thank you for opinion and I won't be coming back. It's not very friendly here.

Pulaski

Sorry.

Rete

I'm sorry that you have gone or are going away with the impression that we are not a friendly lot. We most definitely are. I don't think the post that was offensive to you was meant to be condescending or offensive but rather just a recounting of what the poster and his spouse went through and what their decision was in regards as to where to live. One needs to remember that not every opinion will sit well and I know that you weren't asking for an opinion.

If you want to connect with other Brits who have made NY their new home away from home, please come back and lurk for a while and get a feel of the place. I am an American who lived all of her life in the suburbs of Manhattan and relocated with my husband to the deep south. I absolutely hate it here but that is life. I always lived most of my life hand to mouth because of being a single parent (thankfully, medical issues were never a problem) so I can sympathize with you wholeheartedly.

Whether you leave or remain, I wish the best to you and your family.

Jerseygirl

Welcome to BE.

I'm sorry you feel that way...our members were trying to help...not offend you. Sometimes the written word can come across differently to how it was meant.

Please stick around and join us in the US and UK forums. This forum is purely a 'Meet and Greet' forum.

Moving back to the UK - British Expats

USA - British Expats

petitefrancaise

Please don't go....
Pulaski really annoyed me on my first couple of posts too. I think he means well (well, most of the time!!). Sometimes he's a sweetheart but don't tell him I said that.

TBH if I had an ongoing serious medical condition then I'd probably want to leave the US too, it must be stressful enough having to cope with the condition without having to worry about all the bills that come with it.

Why not come along to the USA forum and let us see if we can give you good advice there?

Pulaski

.... And I'll stay out of it.