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That was the year that was, 2005

That was the year that was, 2005

Old Dec 24th 2005, 5:57 pm
  #1  
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Default That was the year that was, 2005

The Headlines

Billions given to Tsunami relief, now there is nothing left in reserve just in case something happens in the USA, like lets say a Hurricane hits New Orleans or something

Bush sworn in for a second term, the third sign of the Apocalypse

Patriots win Second Super Bowl in a row, no tits at half time, Justin Timberlake watches from home

Hilary Swank wins 2nd Oscar, she is now the go to girl for being beaten to death

Brain Dead Terry Schiavo dies, brain dead president still alive

Michael Jackson gets off - while visiting St Sebastian’s all boy Catholic School

Ashley Smith uses bible to get Judge Killer Brian Nichols to give himself up, President uses bible as an excuse for invading Iraq and using torture

London awarded Olympics over Paris, France says it will now treat British tourists with contempt

New Orleans is devastated, clean up could be Millions, Ray told not to return with his drinking buddies again

London Bombed, measured response by British Government confuses Americans

Sir Bob Geldof organizes Live 8 in London , George Bush continues with Death 3000 in Iraq

Media frenzy over hot chick that disappears in Aruba, ugly chick disappearances completely ignored by media

England win the Ashes, Satan buys ice skates

Pope John Paul II dies, German Pope elected to make Vatican more efficient

Mr Sulu and the Rock come out, Osama stays where he is

Karl Rove confirmed as White House CIA leak, Rumsfeld confirmed as White House Puppeteer

Iraq ratifies its constitution, it is expected to be ignored like the US one

French Riot over secular policies, Muslims causing death and destruction, who knew

White House denies it uses Torture, and will beat you then stick a hose pipe up your arse and turn it on for 80 hours if you say otherwise

Government Slammed for slow response to Katrina, another president in trouble over a blow job

Jennifer with Vince, Brad with Angelina, Jennifer with Ben, Tom with Katie, Patrick with pistol

Kanye West declares “President Bush hates Black People”, White House says he is a Christian and as such is intolerant of everyone, not just Blacks

George Bush tries to get his non judge friend Harriet Myers in the Supreme Court, He hopes she will do as good a job as his friend Michael Brown did in FEMA

Liverpool come from behind to take European Cup, the Rock comes from behind too

Germany elects first woman Chancellor, the title in German is now “deruberchancelormitdervaginaanddertbigitties”

White Sox win first World Series for almost 80 years, America breaks out into spontaneous apathy

Saddam Hussein trial becomes a farce, only 3 years after the war became one

Robin Lovitt becomes the 1,000th person to be executed in the USA, he gets a set of steak knifes and $50 gift certificate to Outback

England Seeded for world cup draw, see, FIFA do have a sense of Humor

Gay Marriage legalized in both UK and South Africa, GW still working on time machine to take USA back to the dark ages

X-Box 360 is the must have gift Christmas present, because kids need to sit around and vegetate more

Florida Student sues after teacher calls him un-american for not standing for the pledge of Alligiance, Lets play the "its un-american" card, enabling the government to do illegal things since 2001

Rumsfeld announces troop reductions, above and beyond the troop reduction being done by Iraqi Insurgents

GW bugs US citizens, no punch line necessary

Osama Bin Laden's niece poses in underwear for GQ, if that family thinks we are going to start liking them if they get naked, they have another thing coming

EU wide Arrest warrant issued for 25 CIA operatives who kidnapped and tortured EU citizen, phone taps, kidnapping and torture, after three, 1, 2, 3 - "Proud to be an American where at least I can say I'm free......"

Gay Cowboys causes uproar in America, crazy muthafukin Cowboys in White House going largely ignored, bizarrely

Last edited by Patrick; Dec 24th 2005 at 7:52 pm.
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Old Dec 26th 2005, 5:34 pm
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Default Re: That was the year that was, 2005

Fantastic summary of the year...especially the ashes
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Old Dec 26th 2005, 10:49 pm
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Default Re: That was the year that was, 2005

more....

Arnold Schwarzenegger's name removed from Austrian Stadium in protest to his stance on human rights, now if we could only get his name removed from all future voting ballots

World prepares for Bird Flu Pandemic, by saying there is going to be a bird flu pandemic

Frenchman Alexis Lemaire computes first 13th root calculation of a 200-digit number, and gets the Nobel prize for Boring

French Doctors carry out first ever face transplant, it doesn't matter what you do Ray, your still ugly on the inside

Super Jumbo makes first ever flight, Stewardess says Michael Moore was well behaved

Lil Kim Jailed, someone obviously listened to her album then

Lance Armstrong wins 7th straight Tour de France, gives Frenchman Alexis Lemaire a run for his money with the Nobel panel

Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson split, the only people surprised where those who didn’t know Ashley Simpson was lip syncing

I am having trouble with the following Headlines, anyone got any suggestions for punchlines!

Discovery is NASA’s first man space flight since Columbia,

24 hour drinking legal in Britain,

Tony Blair re-elected in General Election

Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles finally Marrie,

Last edited by Patrick; Dec 26th 2005 at 11:08 pm.
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Old Dec 26th 2005, 10:57 pm
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Default Re: That was the year that was, 2005

Originally Posted by Patrick
24 hour drinking legal in Britain,
482,000 expats are moving back
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Old Dec 27th 2005, 12:13 am
  #5  
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Default Re: That was the year that was, 2005

Originally Posted by Patrick
more....

24 hour drinking legal in Britain
...because English people don't drink enough.

...because the government need to start the revenue fund for the next Millenium dome.

Sorry, that's the best I could do, I'm just not that funny!
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Old Dec 27th 2005, 1:53 am
  #6  
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Default Re: That was the year that was, 2005

Discovery is NASA’s first man space flight since Columbia,
look what happened on the last one when a woman drove

24 hour drinking legal in Britain,
24 hour drunken fighting, vomiting and shagging to follow

Tony Blair re-elected in General Election
people disapointed to find they were not electing a general for Iraqi frontlines

Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles finally Marrie,[/QUOTE]
Charles now scouring bingo halls throughout the UK for an older uglier woman to be his mistress.
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