Franklin

Sorry, bit upset. Just heard that someone at my last firm through himself out of his apartment. Not good. :-(

I seem to recall that Member of Parliament Clare Short (former International Development Secretary) sounded off about this problem a while back in blightie. Why do young men do this? *ponders* From memory Ms. Short said young men in the UK are doing themselves in because of loss of identity, not knowing their place in UK society. With loss of factory jobs (outsourced to India, China etc.) and the growing independence of young women (which of course is a good thing), some young men find it harder to cope with life and lose hope and top themselves. Very sad is all I can say. :-(

dunroving

Why does anyone do this? You can say what you like about changing societal conditions, but unless you are talking severe conditions, these are not what cause people to "top themselves", as you put it. Usually it is untreated depression; the other stuff is just the last straw, not the underlying cause.

Franklin

It's just a shock to hear about it. Someone "you worked with" kind of thing. He had family and always seemed happy - yapped with everyone. But he was fired, then his car broke down and he didn't have money to fix it, then his gf quit on him. Also he lived in Skyline, which seemed to me to be an expensive place to live; I asked him about that but he shrugged and said it was "OK". I figured he shared an apartment (but learnt today that he had his own apartment, maybe it was a studio apartment so not too expensive); I guess when the money ran out after losing his job he couldn't pay the rent and then it became too much. He had loads of family; but he was a proud young man and I guess he just couldn't get his head around seeking help from his family. They (his family) must be gutted. Such a stupid waste.

Pigtails

How senseless and very sad that anyone can reach a point in their lives that they feel that desperate. I feel for his family and the people that loved him.

dunroving

Yes, the saddest thing about suicides is that while the person is no longer in whatever pain led them to do it, they leave behind a lot of pain for the people that knew and loved them.

Pigtails

A lady I work with....her 19 year old son committed suicide last year. As a mother, I honestly don't know how she wakes up in the morning and functions, let alone come to work with a good attitude.

cindyabs

Worse yet are the ones who do themselves in AFTER going on a random killing spree.

robskatie

My husbands Uncle killed himself the day after christmas, such a shock, he had moved to Seattle and had a good job, but had split with his girlfriend about 3 months previous and was drinking heavily (we found out after). I guess he had gone out on Christmas day and ended up wrecking his car, his friends took him home and put him to bed, they found him the Tuesday after xmas, he had shot himself in the head, they also found his baptismal video in the player and believed he had watched it just before he died. He was just 26. He had spoken to his family on Christmas day and seemed fine, so the WHY is something we are all left with No note, nothing, just very very sad.

Duncs

I am sorry to hear that about your friend PA. Actually the number of suicides in the UK has been declining. I dont know the numbers here but i suspect the opposite due to the deeping poverty divide in this country but i would need to look it up.

It a pretty complex thing i suppose and no single answer explains every circumstance. I agree with dunroving essentially its the point at which the pain of living is so great that people make a choice to simply stop living. I would not characterise it as just desperation its actually a pretty rational choice. In fact it astounds me how deep the human species tolerance is for the pain of living. On the whole life is more pain than happiness so how the hell does anyone keep going really? but some how we do. But whilst the one person stops their own pain they leave behind a lot for others and thats a great tragedy.

Franklin

Good to hear that the suicide rate is declining in the UK. Has the rate also declined within the young men group? (E.g., under 30 males).

fatbrit

Since there is evidence that after a film or news story on suicide, suicide rates tend to go up, I thought it might be a good idea to link to some help.

If you are feeling suicidal, please go get yourself some help here.

Lothianlad

Please see:

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/050121/325/fass6.html

At last attention is being paid to YOUNG MALES and recognition made of the problems we have and difficulty in expressing them. For too long males have been overlooked on the issue of emotional problems and regarded as if they dind't matter. Everything has been geared to females. From this link you will se that things have changed here now and suicide rates are going down fast.

Bye

Franklin

Very good news - thanks for the link. Karma to you.

Ash UK/US

A family I knew in the UK... their son 16 fell out with his girlfriend and decided he could not go on anymore and killed himself (that was about a year ago) there other son went off the rails a little after that and stole a car with a couple of his friends they ended up crashing it and one of his friends, his best friend, was killed. He ended up in a youth detention center and thought he was being haunted by his brother and friend... they placed him on suicide watch... for the good it did. He hung himself at 16 too.

My heart goes out to their mother... as someone else said... as a mother myself I also cannot imagine how she functions properly... it is so sad that 2 lives were ended that way.

waxwabbit

I never understood how someone could do that to themselves - always seemed ultimately selfiish to leave behind so much pain....

Now though, I do understand.....clinical depression...its fu@#ing horrible and just ruins life and your understanding of it......