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Worried we might be lonely.

Worried we might be lonely.

Old May 7th 2011, 4:41 pm
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Default Re: Worried we might be lonely.

Originally Posted by dunroving View Post
I felt a lot more welcome where I lived in the States than I have done living here. Over 4 years now and I still only know people relatively superficially. Mind you, Glaswegians are a bit dour, and I have a lot less free time here.

I've been looking for a job in the US for over 2 years now (in fact I've had two interviews).
Maybe one of the reason I feel so comfortable when I visit Scotland is because I am part Scottish (my mum was Scottish) and I have many relatives there. I do realize that the Scots can be a little mean-spirited regarding the English. Hope you find your US job - though it's not all wonderful here either - horrible economy and housing market. Maybe if you had more free time on your hands you would make more friends. That's one of the things I hate most about the US - less free time and the work work work mentality and much less vacation time. At the same time, I am very thankful to have a job! Good luck in your job search!
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Old May 7th 2011, 4:47 pm
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Default Re: Worried we might be lonely.

Originally Posted by Derrygal View Post
Maybe one of the reason I feel so comfortable when I visit Scotland is because I am part Scottish (my mum was Scottish) and I have many relatives there. I do realize that the Scots can be a little mean-spirited regarding the English. Hope you find your US job - though it's not all wonderful here either - horrible economy and housing market. Maybe if you had more free time on your hands you would make more friends. That's one of the things I hate most about the US - less free time and the work work work mentality and much less vacation time. At the same time, I am very thankful to have a job! Good luck in your job search!
Just with all things, location makes a difference...some parts of Scotland will be great, others not so...Scotland is no unique snowflake in that regard.
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Old May 9th 2011, 12:22 am
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Default Re: Worried we might be lonely.

Wow. My 2nd post to the entire forum was a question which only really required a simple answer (which one person did answer - thank you).

Instead I've had my intentions, feeling and moral fibre been called into question. I've even been called obnoxious.

I hadn't expected that. Perhaps I should have looked around and read some threads before registering and attempting to contribute to the community. Certainly, if I'd known so many people were going to be so negative I'd have not bothered.

Baby steps from now on methinks. Shame really.
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Old May 9th 2011, 1:05 am
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Default Re: Worried we might be lonely.

Originally Posted by AndyP11 View Post
Perhaps I should have looked around and read some threads before registering and attempting to contribute to the community.
This is a public forum... you get what you get. I suggest a Zen-like approach to the responses you receive: take what is useful.

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Old May 9th 2011, 7:30 am
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Default Re: Worried we might be lonely.

Hehe... ok, first post since I've moved to the US - 5 days ago (finally got internet working).

Yes I understand the need to seek out expat communities, I am already looking forward to seeing my first Brit here in California just to hear a voice that sounds familiar. I don't exactly hold much affection for Britain, in fact I am very glad to be away from home but I can totally understand the OP's worries.

Although American's are indeed extremely nice people - I also married one - it can be a bit daunting to be sitting in a restaurant, say, and totally not being able to understand what anyone's talking about. I don't mean that I can't understand their accents, but the things they talk about (esp when sports come up) are obviously going to be unfamiliar half the time.

I am lucky that my wife has primed me over the last two years in Blighty on American language, ways and customs; but I certainly feel like an outsider here and it's going to be some time before I feel like I 'fit in'. I don't feel like the OP should be criticised for seeking out an expat community, seems just like a natural thing to do given their 100% British origins.

Anyway, in case anyones interested, I got a car lease on day 3, and am moving into my rental town house on day 7. Bloody piece of piss so far, but it helps that my wife's parents both work for a Honda dealership! If anyone's moving to Santa Cruz and needs a car, maybe we could help!

Lastly, thanks for all the help I've received from the folk here with the move. It has been invaluable so far!
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Old May 9th 2011, 10:14 am
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Default Re: Worried we might be lonely.

Originally Posted by AndyP11 View Post
Wow. My 2nd post to the entire forum was a question which only really required a simple answer (which one person did answer - thank you).

Instead I've had my intentions, feeling and moral fibre been called into question. I've even been called obnoxious.
It's a public forum with a wide range of opinions. Some people need the comfort zone of having Brits around; others want to distance themselves; most are probably somewhere in between. But I very much doubt you'd be lonely, unless you locked yourself inside all day. If you're in an area with very few Brits then you'd probably be a novelty and people will go out of their way to be friends with you.

Originally Posted by Infowarrior View Post
If anyone's moving to Santa Cruz and needs a car, maybe we could help!
Your cards have been marked!
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Old May 9th 2011, 11:26 am
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Default Re: Worried we might be lonely.

Originally Posted by GeoffM View Post
Your cards have been marked!
He should be OK, his location says that he's still in Central England
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Old May 9th 2011, 12:19 pm
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Default Re: Worried we might be lonely.

Originally Posted by GeoffM View Post
If you're in an area with very few Brits then you'd probably be a novelty and people will go out of their way to be friends with you.
I don't know about you but this 'novelty' thing makes me feel more lonely than anything else.

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Old May 9th 2011, 3:41 pm
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Default Re: Worried we might be lonely.

Originally Posted by AndyP11 View Post
Wow. My 2nd post to the entire forum was a question which only really required a simple answer (which one person did answer - thank you).

Instead I've had my intentions, feeling and moral fibre been called into question. I've even been called obnoxious.

I hadn't expected that. Perhaps I should have looked around and read some threads before registering and attempting to contribute to the community. Certainly, if I'd known so many people were going to be so negative I'd have not bothered.

Baby steps from now on methinks. Shame really.

I said the concept was potentially obnoxious, not you personally, you plonker.
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Old May 9th 2011, 3:56 pm
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Default Re: Worried we might be lonely.

Originally Posted by gradboy View Post
I don't know about you but this 'novelty' thing makes me feel more lonely than anything else.
Odd. I've had people in bars, shopping centres etc come over and talk when they hear the accent which is usually a good thing in my opinion. Once, onboard Amtrak I had dinner with a mother and her two girls (probably elementary and junior/high school age) - community dining there - and by the end of the meal they had invited me to stay with them in rural Wisconsin. Possibly slightly foolish of them but friendly nonetheless.
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Old May 9th 2011, 4:12 pm
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Default Re: Worried we might be lonely.

Originally Posted by GeoffM View Post
... and by the end of the meal they had invited me to stay with them in rural Wisconsin. Possibly slightly foolish of them but friendly nonetheless.
well you don't know who they might have tied up in their basement
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Old May 9th 2011, 4:28 pm
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Default Re: Worried we might be lonely.

If you want to meet people and make friends here, you will. It's as simple as that.

We live in a very culturally diverse place (suburb of Houston) and we have had no trouble at all making friends - good ones. Our neighbours are great. We socialise a lot with people from Colorado, Texas, India, Tennesse, Mexico, Venezuela, Lebanon, Scotland, England, Ireland Wales and so on and so on.

There is a HUGE ex pat community here with the oil and gas industry and to be honest we did shun them a bit (the Brits I mean) when we first arrived. This was deliberate on our part - so that we would meet and make friends with our neighbours and co-workers.

However, after some time, we found ourselves meeting more people from the UK by natural progression and we really do enjoy their company. The result is that we have made several American friends and also friends from other parts of the world, including the UK.

In our experience, Americans are really very friendly and sociable. They host great parties and really know how to do a buffet or BBQ. The onus is very much on you to try and integrate. You are, after all, the ones coming into the place. I just wanted you to know that we have found this experience very easy indeed.
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Old May 9th 2011, 6:11 pm
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Default Re: Worried we might be lonely.

Originally Posted by GeoffM View Post
Odd. I've had people in bars, shopping centres etc come over and talk when they hear the accent which is usually a good thing in my opinion. Once, onboard Amtrak I had dinner with a mother and her two girls (probably elementary and junior/high school age) - community dining there - and by the end of the meal they had invited me to stay with them in rural Wisconsin. Possibly slightly foolish of them but friendly nonetheless.
I don't like this sort of thing, tbh. It just reminds me that I'm a perpetual foreigner as soon as I open my mouth, no matter how long I live in the US.
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Old May 9th 2011, 6:15 pm
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Default Re: Worried we might be lonely.

Originally Posted by gradboy View Post
I don't like this sort of thing, tbh. It just reminds me that I'm a perpetual foreigner as soon as I open my mouth, no matter how long I live in the US.
But maybe that is not the negative you seem to think it is... almost everyone in the US is from somewhere else.
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Old May 9th 2011, 6:17 pm
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Default Re: Worried we might be lonely.

Originally Posted by meauxna View Post
But maybe that is not the negative you seem to think it is... almost everyone in the US is from somewhere else.
No they're not. What percentage of US citizens and residents are foreign-born?
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