Worried we might be lonely.
#16
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2010
Location: North East Ohio, USA
Posts: 1,933
Re: Worried we might be lonely.
I felt a lot more welcome where I lived in the States than I have done living here. Over 4 years now and I still only know people relatively superficially. Mind you, Glaswegians are a bit dour, and I have a lot less free time here.
I've been looking for a job in the US for over 2 years now (in fact I've had two interviews).
I've been looking for a job in the US for over 2 years now (in fact I've had two interviews).
#17
Re: Worried we might be lonely.
Maybe one of the reason I feel so comfortable when I visit Scotland is because I am part Scottish (my mum was Scottish) and I have many relatives there. I do realize that the Scots can be a little mean-spirited regarding the English. Hope you find your US job - though it's not all wonderful here either - horrible economy and housing market. Maybe if you had more free time on your hands you would make more friends. That's one of the things I hate most about the US - less free time and the work work work mentality and much less vacation time. At the same time, I am very thankful to have a job! Good luck in your job search!
#18
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 6
Re: Worried we might be lonely.
Wow. My 2nd post to the entire forum was a question which only really required a simple answer (which one person did answer - thank you).
Instead I've had my intentions, feeling and moral fibre been called into question. I've even been called obnoxious.
I hadn't expected that. Perhaps I should have looked around and read some threads before registering and attempting to contribute to the community. Certainly, if I'd known so many people were going to be so negative I'd have not bothered.
Baby steps from now on methinks. Shame really.
Instead I've had my intentions, feeling and moral fibre been called into question. I've even been called obnoxious.
I hadn't expected that. Perhaps I should have looked around and read some threads before registering and attempting to contribute to the community. Certainly, if I'd known so many people were going to be so negative I'd have not bothered.
Baby steps from now on methinks. Shame really.
#19
Account Closed
Joined: Aug 2002
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 38,865
Re: Worried we might be lonely.
#20
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2011
Location: Central England
Posts: 58
Re: Worried we might be lonely.
Hehe... ok, first post since I've moved to the US - 5 days ago (finally got internet working).
Yes I understand the need to seek out expat communities, I am already looking forward to seeing my first Brit here in California just to hear a voice that sounds familiar. I don't exactly hold much affection for Britain, in fact I am very glad to be away from home but I can totally understand the OP's worries.
Although American's are indeed extremely nice people - I also married one - it can be a bit daunting to be sitting in a restaurant, say, and totally not being able to understand what anyone's talking about. I don't mean that I can't understand their accents, but the things they talk about (esp when sports come up) are obviously going to be unfamiliar half the time.
I am lucky that my wife has primed me over the last two years in Blighty on American language, ways and customs; but I certainly feel like an outsider here and it's going to be some time before I feel like I 'fit in'. I don't feel like the OP should be criticised for seeking out an expat community, seems just like a natural thing to do given their 100% British origins.
Anyway, in case anyones interested, I got a car lease on day 3, and am moving into my rental town house on day 7. Bloody piece of piss so far, but it helps that my wife's parents both work for a Honda dealership! If anyone's moving to Santa Cruz and needs a car, maybe we could help!
Lastly, thanks for all the help I've received from the folk here with the move. It has been invaluable so far!
Yes I understand the need to seek out expat communities, I am already looking forward to seeing my first Brit here in California just to hear a voice that sounds familiar. I don't exactly hold much affection for Britain, in fact I am very glad to be away from home but I can totally understand the OP's worries.
Although American's are indeed extremely nice people - I also married one - it can be a bit daunting to be sitting in a restaurant, say, and totally not being able to understand what anyone's talking about. I don't mean that I can't understand their accents, but the things they talk about (esp when sports come up) are obviously going to be unfamiliar half the time.
I am lucky that my wife has primed me over the last two years in Blighty on American language, ways and customs; but I certainly feel like an outsider here and it's going to be some time before I feel like I 'fit in'. I don't feel like the OP should be criticised for seeking out an expat community, seems just like a natural thing to do given their 100% British origins.
Anyway, in case anyones interested, I got a car lease on day 3, and am moving into my rental town house on day 7. Bloody piece of piss so far, but it helps that my wife's parents both work for a Honda dealership! If anyone's moving to Santa Cruz and needs a car, maybe we could help!
Lastly, thanks for all the help I've received from the folk here with the move. It has been invaluable so far!
#21
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2010
Location: Temecula, CA
Posts: 4,759
Re: Worried we might be lonely.
Your cards have been marked!
#24
Re: Worried we might be lonely.
Wow. My 2nd post to the entire forum was a question which only really required a simple answer (which one person did answer - thank you).
Instead I've had my intentions, feeling and moral fibre been called into question. I've even been called obnoxious.
I hadn't expected that. Perhaps I should have looked around and read some threads before registering and attempting to contribute to the community. Certainly, if I'd known so many people were going to be so negative I'd have not bothered.
Baby steps from now on methinks. Shame really.
Instead I've had my intentions, feeling and moral fibre been called into question. I've even been called obnoxious.
I hadn't expected that. Perhaps I should have looked around and read some threads before registering and attempting to contribute to the community. Certainly, if I'd known so many people were going to be so negative I'd have not bothered.
Baby steps from now on methinks. Shame really.
I said the concept was potentially obnoxious, not you personally, you plonker.
#25
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2010
Location: Temecula, CA
Posts: 4,759
Re: Worried we might be lonely.
Odd. I've had people in bars, shopping centres etc come over and talk when they hear the accent which is usually a good thing in my opinion. Once, onboard Amtrak I had dinner with a mother and her two girls (probably elementary and junior/high school age) - community dining there - and by the end of the meal they had invited me to stay with them in rural Wisconsin. Possibly slightly foolish of them but friendly nonetheless.
#27
Re: Worried we might be lonely.
If you want to meet people and make friends here, you will. It's as simple as that.
We live in a very culturally diverse place (suburb of Houston) and we have had no trouble at all making friends - good ones. Our neighbours are great. We socialise a lot with people from Colorado, Texas, India, Tennesse, Mexico, Venezuela, Lebanon, Scotland, England, Ireland Wales and so on and so on.
There is a HUGE ex pat community here with the oil and gas industry and to be honest we did shun them a bit (the Brits I mean) when we first arrived. This was deliberate on our part - so that we would meet and make friends with our neighbours and co-workers.
However, after some time, we found ourselves meeting more people from the UK by natural progression and we really do enjoy their company. The result is that we have made several American friends and also friends from other parts of the world, including the UK.
In our experience, Americans are really very friendly and sociable. They host great parties and really know how to do a buffet or BBQ. The onus is very much on you to try and integrate. You are, after all, the ones coming into the place. I just wanted you to know that we have found this experience very easy indeed.
We live in a very culturally diverse place (suburb of Houston) and we have had no trouble at all making friends - good ones. Our neighbours are great. We socialise a lot with people from Colorado, Texas, India, Tennesse, Mexico, Venezuela, Lebanon, Scotland, England, Ireland Wales and so on and so on.
There is a HUGE ex pat community here with the oil and gas industry and to be honest we did shun them a bit (the Brits I mean) when we first arrived. This was deliberate on our part - so that we would meet and make friends with our neighbours and co-workers.
However, after some time, we found ourselves meeting more people from the UK by natural progression and we really do enjoy their company. The result is that we have made several American friends and also friends from other parts of the world, including the UK.
In our experience, Americans are really very friendly and sociable. They host great parties and really know how to do a buffet or BBQ. The onus is very much on you to try and integrate. You are, after all, the ones coming into the place. I just wanted you to know that we have found this experience very easy indeed.
#28
Forum Regular
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 71
Re: Worried we might be lonely.
Odd. I've had people in bars, shopping centres etc come over and talk when they hear the accent which is usually a good thing in my opinion. Once, onboard Amtrak I had dinner with a mother and her two girls (probably elementary and junior/high school age) - community dining there - and by the end of the meal they had invited me to stay with them in rural Wisconsin. Possibly slightly foolish of them but friendly nonetheless.
#29
Re: Worried we might be lonely.
But maybe that is not the negative you seem to think it is... almost everyone in the US is from somewhere else.