Englishmum

Ever since I met my spouse he's always travelled with his job, mainly overseas. When we were in Singapore he was away on regional travel in Asia about 60% - 70% of the time but most of the other expat 'trailing' spouses were in the same boat.

The weekends are the worst - at least in Africa, Middle East and Asia most expats are enrolled in a country club by their employers so there were always plenty of other 'home alone' wives and children to meet up with if they were left on their own at the weekends.

My husband flew to London last night. I really feel at a loss over here when he's away, the country clubs are very expensive, exclusive and low turnover of members so they're very cliquey I guess. We don't get membership anyway in the US.

I don't feel like imposing on my married friends as the weekends are really considered 'family time' and I don't feel that I could ask to tag along if they're doing an activity or going out as a couple on a 'date night' to a restaurant, theatre or movie. My teenage son now has a car and has his own social life.

I guess I'll be watching a DVD or reading a book tonight (when I'm not on here LOL!) but weekends 'home alone' really drag and really suck. It's when I really wish we had extended family living nearby.

cutina

well, i'm not married yet, but i can definately sympathise.... my boyfriend and i have been dating for 5 years, one of them in different countries, and one in different states.
love's a bitch

i have some married friends who invite me for dinner... it just makes me feel more abandoned! we see each other every 3-4 weeks at weekends. It's rubbish but better than nothing
got through piles of DVDs myself!

chin up sweetie
sending a big hug your way
xxx

elfman

It's not always a huge amount of fun for the one that does the travelling - I used to work in the oil industry and I spent about 50% of my time on drilling ships in less than salubrious parts of the world (and as for the ships themselves, well we're not talking about the Queen Mary 2 here). Generally speaking we would be sent off at short notice (less than a week) for periods of seven weeks or so (on average) out of sight of land and basically out of touch with the rest of civilisation because use of the ship's satellite communications equipment was usually heavily restricted. The whole thing played hell with your social and love life and the money wasn't even that good.

Barely a day goes by without my Mrs saying "I'm SO glad you don't do that job anymore".

fatbrit

I'm in the same boat these days: wife is 30 days away, 10 home. But for the first 5 years of our married life, we both worked together in our own company, so I suppose we've had both sides of the equation.

I actually find it quite refreshing. Try taking up a new hobby, e.g. more education, flying lessons, political activism, really whatever takes your fancy. Gives you something fresh to talk about when they're home.

Jerseygirl

As you know I am in the same position as you, although my hubby is not away as often now. The week before we were married mine was working in Sweden. Spent his stag party with the English football team who were out there at the time, still got all their signatures and wishes that they wrote on beer mats. Late on Friday night, less than 12 hrs before we were to get married, he called me from Heathrow. Just landed and missed the last shuttle to Manchester, so was going to go to Euston and try to get the last train to Lime Street, Liverpool. I drove from Chester to Liverpool to collect him at about 4.00 am. By the time we got back to our new house, we just had time to eat breakfast, shower and get ready. We had to leave the car with the car park attendant to park as we were running late for the registry office. A week later he was back in Sweden again.

After a few months he went to work in Amsterdam for a year. I stayed home and used to fly out Friday afternoon and back early Monday for work.
That is what most of our married life has been like. It can be lonely at times, but I always have had my dogs to keep me company. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and welcomings can be wonderful!! Not to mention the gifts and duty free!!

cutina

very very true

NC Penguin

40 days in a month?


NC Penguin

fatbrit

She leaves on an assignment for 30 days (plus or minus a few days), then returns home and is relatively free (except for an hour or so a day stuck on her Blackberry!) for the next 10 (plus or minus a few days). Then she's out on another 30-day assignment...

Jerseygirl

Are you on something tonight or wot?? I cannot see any mention in FatBrit's post of a month, just 30 days and 10 days. I read another strange post by you earlier about eating plastic in the 'what would you miss' thread. There was nothing in the title of that particular thread that said it had to be something to eat.

cutina

funny i was thinking the same thing!
don't worry NC we all have those days

joto

Hubby did a lot of travelling when we were in the UK . He used to go sometimes 1-2 week trips about every 2-3 months, and shorter ones in between those. It's not much fun when you are bringing up kids when you have to be mother and father to them, and even less fun when they are teenagers and trying to pull a fast one one you. Just before we moved over here, he was away for approx 9 months and we only saw him about 3 times in all.

britvic

You lot already know I'm a Navy wife it's hard, his home Tuesday after 5 weeks, only two night's though back out again for a week I can cope with that, it's the big one end of April 6 months :scared: dreading it, how the f**k will I get through it, email is our only contact, not even hearing his voice is a killer. He comes out next year we need our Daddy home with us.

Ray

Is this the masturbation thread .....

britvic

LOL I can tell you mines well & truly off with him gone I'm reborn when he's home.

Maggs

Hi

I also find it difficult when my husband travels although I do seem to be lucky in comparison to others. He is only away 2 maybe 3 nights a week and rarely on weekends. It's not so bad in the school vacation times as my son is home from college and is a really big help. I think I find it particularly difficult some days, as we now have custody of my husbands three children and their mom doesn't see them that often, so I feel a heavy burden of responsibility when he isn't at home. I also wish I had extended family here as there is no-one else to turn to when I need help or just want some company. I couldn't wish for better step-children and we all get along very well but, kids will be kids so you know how that goes!

Maggie