retzie

I only advise time off for PhD students if (a) you have decided to quit; (b) you have an issue of physical health (not stress-related); or, (c) have responsibilities to attend to elsewhere. It sounds like (c) is out, so we're left with (a) or (b). I'm going to be very presumptuous and guess you have stress-related health issues and do intend to return eventually. Do not take time off! You will lose touch with whatever it was you loved about your work in the first place (if you never did, quit now!!). In my experience, dealing with stress issues arising from work or location only becomes more difficult if you remove yourself from the situation - yes, you feel better, but you are not developing any mechanisms for coping when you go back. So everything just goes back to awful when you return. There is also the issue of losing touch with your project/current research - you can say you'll study day and night 'til the cows come home, but nothing compares to being in your group and having access/being accountable to your advisor.

If you would actually otherwise quit, that's when you take a leave of absence, as a kind of cooling off period. Once the acute issues settle down, you will be in a better position to decide what you want in the longterm. I took 6 months off before starting my PhD and went off travelling, with zero intention of returning to start it. While I was away, I got a chance to decompress from a very difficult family situation and decided it was what I actually wanted to do. If you take time off with the intention of returning, I feel like you end up under all this pressure to feel better about everything just because you are away from it. You can't really force something like that, so (IMO) you just add another layer of guilt about not really using your time off to feel better.

Sorry, I'm banging on a bit - as well as suffering through a very difficult postdoc I have numerous friends who have struggled/are struggling with difficult PhD scenarios and I have spent a lot of time talking through coping strategies. As a result, I may be reading between lines that are not there in your situation.

Anyway - I am a foreign (Australian) female in the sciences (math), with bitter experience of the midwest in my 20s (arrived at 26). Happy to discuss more if you feel like it would help

Bad choice of words: time off from teaching. Even if you are tethered to a lab, summer let's you get back to the work that captivated you in the first place. Sure, you never get as much done as you'd like, but you generally get a rest from everyone pulling you in seven different directions, and finally a chance for blessed focus. (Until you get too senior - then administration wants a piece of you too!)

Sally Redux

That has got unbelievably ridiculous now.

MMcD

Doesn't sound like taking "time off" is OP's decision to make.

In fact, she says it was her "boss's suggestion" and that she will "have to do it".

"Suggestion" may well be her euphemism for "order".

AdobePinon

Not sure what the motivation is, but I agree with many of the points above. Watch your visa status, especially if you're taken off payroll / class registration. And don't burn practical training for this unless you're on the way out.

If you're looking for somewhere cheaper, and much, much smaller than Portland OR, you might look at Eugene OR. Good summer climate, walkable with a semi-decent bus service, and home of the University of Oregon. I spent my grad school years there without a car and did fine. UofO libraries will lend to the public too.

Edit to add: Excellent beer available too.

Sally Redux

I agree she should be careful about what she decides to do. "Journey of self-discovery"/find a place I don't hate to prove to myself that America can be okay sounds like a stress/homesickness problem. Sorry to speculate.

MMcD

Eenie, Meeney, Miney, Moe

Fifty states, but where to go?

Seems you crave a taste of home

And for that you'll have to roam

Fifty states compound the choice

Therefore, heed your inner voice

Heart has spoken clear and loud

Spend some time with Boston crowd!

Boston:
Has many elements you miss / The chemistry seems right;

You say you don't drive. Countryside would require a car and so, too, would a small walkable town - because after a few weeks - it might not offer enough within its confines.

Boston seems a no-brainer. I believe there's good public transportation, libraries galore and with it's colonial roots - it's architecturally reminiscent of the UK.

My college roommate was a Boston (Cambridge) native. I always felt I was visiting a foreign country whenever I'd go home with her during school breaks. I was utterly charmed by Boston
Trust your instincts and intuitions.
Beware a plethora of choices. It can becoming paralyzing like when standing at a self-serve buffet unable to decide......

MarylandNed

I assume you left the UK because you were looking for something different. So why would you be looking for somewhere in the US that is most like the UK - if such a place even exists. Actually, I have a question for you - where in the UK do you consider to be most like the UK? Different parts of the UK differ from each other. Even in the same general area of the country, you'll have a different lifestyle depending on how rural/urban your particular area is.

This is true more so in the US where there is much greater diversity in terms of geography and weather. So maybe you just need to try somewhere different in the US without worrying about how much closer it is in lifestyle to the UK. Some people have already suggested the Pacific North West and New England. Good suggestions.

Sally Redux

You'll usually have a town with a recognisable centre, buildings from a range of historical periods, some pubs and public transport. I remember a Russian mum at my kids' school in LA bemoaning the lack of a 'proper town'.

Whether seeking somewhere like this would represent self-discovery is another matter.

AdobePinon

It gets tricky depending on what she thinks 'like the U.K.' means. For example, Santa Fe, where I live, is often said to be one of the more European cities in the US. It has everything you mention above, but I'd argue that while 'European', it's also one of the least like the UK.

Sally Redux

Prob no WH Smith.

MMcD

Indeed.
Santa Fe is a gem - tho it's always struck me as resembling certain Mexican towns - rather than anywhere in Europe - including Spain. And the spectacular countryside around it is unique unto itself.

And then there's that other American treasure - New Orleans......

The OP shouldn't be distracted by talk of these oases - she's got enough on her plate, it seems.

Pulaski

However one of the criteria of the OP was "safe", which is not an adjective that sits easily with New Orleans.

MarylandNed

No kidding. New Orleans is on my list of places that is great for 1 visit without any need to go back to it ever again. I've never felt as unsafe as I did in New Orleans and I used to live in Hulme and Moss Side, Manchester.

MMcD

Hope my post was clear.

In no way was I suggesting New Orleans to the OP

I mentioned it in reply to Adobe Pinon and his reference to what some label as "European", American cities.

That's all....

Moses2013

You'll find European influenced architecture anywhere in the US. I just find that for a country so big, you'd think there would be more choices.