Brat1

Thanks everyone for yor support. It has helped make me feel better today. I suppose I'm going to get days like this

Jerseygirl

Yes you will and there's always someone around here to listen.

Lazzza

Oh my God, this is so much like the situation I am going through and we are not even in the US yet! My daughter is aged 16 (17 soon). I also have an 18year old son at Uni plus an 8 year old son and a 3 year old daughter.

My 16 year old daughter had a hissy fit when she found out about Houston. She decided to involve my mother (her maternal grandmother) and my older sister in the situation. We had a huge fight and the sad thing is that I no longer have any contact with either my mother or sister any more.

Since then, my daughter has acted out. She continuously pushes the boundaries. And I mean seriously. She has come home drunk, shouting and swearing at me etc.... I have tried to understand her behaviour and I do sympathise that she is leavinng her home and friends behind. So am I!

Anyway, I am really worried about the way she will be when we finally arrive in the US (early June). I suspect that as soon as things don't suit her, she will do the very same thing. It's a nightmare.

Undefeckable

You've never been to bishopbriggs, have you?

Sorry, only kidding. bad joke from an ex-paisley man....

Giantaxe

Well, she can be insured until age 26 on her parents' heath insurance now

You raise a good question though. With the cost of college and the cost of health insurance, it's not at all clear to me that young people will have "a better life" here: those are two huge obstacles that have to overcome to establish oneself as a young adult here. And I suspect this is likely exacerbated by moving a child over at age 16, where the cultural differences have a significant impact on their lives. Personally I wouldn't want to move a child in either direction at that age; it's just a really tough thing to do.

Brat1

Have only been to Paisley once and that was in a hearse

Brat1

I think everyone' situation is different but after weighing up the pro's and con's before we came here, and believe me, it has taken a long time to get here, my kids won't have a worse way of life, and anything that I can give them that I couldn't before, whether that's monetary or me just being here for once, must be better. But I do agree that either way, this may have a significant impact on her, which is why I'm trying to decide what the best thing for her at the moment is going to be.

hobbes79

Ah, the puppy sale technique... "buy the puppy, and if you don't like it bring it back"

No one ever brings back the puppy

Octang Frye

This.

Bob

Not read the thread yet, I'll get there...

But it's almost the end of the school year, so no point in doing anything hasty...tell her to stick it out till at least the summer hols and see if things improve.

And tell the OH to sort himself out, crunch hours on a daily basis is a mugs game that they take the piss out of, you didn't move half way around the world to be someone nonces slave.

Bob

So no one else mention something wrong with the 13-14 hour work day?

Giantaxe

It certainly forms an interesting juxtaposition with this comment by the OP:

Sally Redux

Ah well, 'better' is something the philosophers have been discussing for millenia.

Oregon4now

Teenagers...Ugh !
I went through pretty much the same drama with my then 15 year old son when we had to move to Las Vegas NV from Sherman oaks CA, You would have thought that the world was ending by all the carrying on he did, I suppose from his point of view , the world indeed was ending. But we stuck to our guns and told him under no uncertain terms that he had no choice in the matter as he was underage and did not HOLD A FULL TIME JOB in order to support his living. He was miserable for the first 6-8 weeks and wasted no time letting us know about it. I had told him that during vacations he was free to stay with his mates back in California ( a 4 hour drive BTW..LOL ) and vice versa, but that basically we are going to be living in Las Vegas and he could either make the best of it and get over it, or stay in his room and sulk, the choice was entirely his own.
Needless to say that after his second day at school he started making friends and within 2 weeks he was completely in his comfort zone and discovering the wonders of Las Vegas with his new found friends. After 6 months he was so completely wrapped up in his new life and activities I do not think he ever gave his old life back in Cali a second thought other then having some of his old friends come out for a visit so he could show them the wonders of Vegas.
Teenagers are a fickle bunch, but the worst mistake I think one can make is to accommodate them and disregard the entire family unit. Moving is stressful on everybody, but to come down to brass tacks, she is underage and better she learn now that the whole world does not revolve around her and her whims. She has 2 more years of school and after she has completed her courses, if she still does not like it here, buy her a ticket and send her on her way back to the U.K.... Do not give in to her tantrums or disrespect, remind her she is still a kid and you and DH are still in charge of the family... I know this sounds a bit harsh, but I am tired of teenagers and their attitude.. shut the hell up and deal with the lot you have been given... Life can be so much worse, it is up to them to make the best out of the situation... and BTW my son is now 31 and his best friends to this day are the ones he made in Las Vegas.... Good luck and God bless.
Gregg

kins

Yeah I thought much the same as you.

I also wonder how the daughter feels about dad never being around? Just a thought. I know when I was a teenager it didn't help that right around the same time as we moved to an area I hated my mum also turned her attention entirely from her children to her college course.

Other than that I agree with those who say give it a while. It takes a good year or two to settle properly in a country. It's a very valuable experience to do it, open your eyes, broaden your horizons, and realise that you can survive out of your comfort zone.