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What does everyone else do?

What does everyone else do?

Old Aug 15th 2002, 2:14 pm
  #1  
mmm
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Default What does everyone else do?

We moved to California a year ago and now we have relocated to Dallas. My husband is British on a H1, I'm on a H4.

The isolation and boredom really starts to get to you once you've unpacked and start looking for things to do. I've checked all the volunteer sites and they're all really good except for one thing. I don't drive and can't get to them easily. We've no children and my husband works all day.

The people here are odd, friendly to the point of saying Howdee but it doesn't go much further than that.

Coming from a place where I was constantly in demand in my workplace and had numerous friends that demanded various activities to the complete nothingness that is now my daily life is extremely difficult.

I'd love to hear how other people in this situation cope with it.
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Old Aug 15th 2002, 2:29 pm
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Default Re: What does everyone else do?

Originally posted by mmm:

The isolation and boredom really starts to get to you once you've unpacked and start looking for things to do. I've checked all the volunteer sites and they're all really good except for one thing. I don't drive and can't get to them easily. We've no children and my husband works all day.

<snip>

I'd love to hear how other people in this situation cope with it.
There is a common thread in all the posts where the poster is asking for help to overcome boredom. They don't drive!! In this country where public transport is practically non-existant or not that good, being able to drive is a must. That's what you have to do -- learn to drive. Talk to your husband about buying a second car. Cars are available in prices to suit anyones purse. Then you could start to look for work, if that's what you want to do.
Or do what I did. I started gardening, quilting and sewing. And cooking American. I had never been a seamstress but now I'm hooked. And gardening has become my passion. And I have become an expert cook just by watching the food channel. Throw yourself into what you've always dreamt of doing but never had time for.
I was like you three years ago. I had a full-time job back home and I was happy in my work and loved spending time with friends and family. It took time to make the adjustments -- but I'm finally happy doing the things I love to do. So please take heart and know that there is much you can do, to overcome your situation.
Best wishes,
Ranjini
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Old Aug 15th 2002, 2:41 pm
  #3  
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Default Re: What does everyone else do?

I agree with Ranjini. A dear friend of mine just came to visit with her 14 month old baby girl. She's English and lives in Dallas with her Scottish husband who's got a job there. They've been living there for four years. When she moved from the UK originally, she was miserable. She admitted she'd be more at home in an older east coast city, at least- other Texans I know know even admit Dallas isn't like the rest of Texas.
But the one thing my friend had before moving over was the ability to drive. She ended up taking some paper making classes and such at some arts center down there. For a while she had a job at the British consulate down there (until she bacame pregnant). Now she has a part time job at a "Brit" shop down there.
But since she's had her wee one, she's been able to make lots of friends- other mothers- some expats like herself, some "expats" from the east coast like New Jersey, some local Texans.
She also lives in lower Greenville, a funky part of Dallas that allows her to actually walk to the Whole Foods and some bars and restaurants if she wishes.
Ranjni gave you some great advice- I'll second it- get your liscence, then get a part time job if your H-4 has work allowance. If it doesn't, take some classes and/or take up a hobby like gardening, gourmet cooking, yard saling/thrift shopping, etc...
Its tough, but you'll settle in eventually- my friend did. Good luck.

Originally posted by Ranjini:


There is a common thread in all the posts where the poster is asking for help to overcome boredom. They don't drive!! In this country where public transport is practically non-existant or not that good, being able to drive is a must. That's what you have to do -- learn to drive. Talk to your husband about buying a second car. Cars are available in prices to suit anyones purse. Then you could start to look for work, if that's what you want to do.
Or do what I did. I started gardening, quilting and sewing. And cooking American. I had never been a seamstress but now I'm hooked. And gardening has become my passion. And I have become an expert cook just by watching the food channel. Throw yourself into what you've always dreamt of doing but never had time for.
I was like you three years ago. I had a full-time job back home and I was happy in my work and loved spending time with friends and family. It took time to make the adjustments -- but I'm finally happy doing the things I love to do. So please take heart and know that there is much you can do, to overcome your situation.
Best wishes,
Ranjini
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Old Aug 15th 2002, 6:35 pm
  #4  
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Default Re: What does everyone else do?

Originally posted by mmm:
We moved to California a year ago and now we have relocated to Dallas. My husband is British on a H1, I'm on a H4.

The isolation and boredom really starts to get to you once you've unpacked and start looking for things to do. I've checked all the volunteer sites and they're all really good except for one thing. I don't drive and can't get to them easily. We've no children and my husband works all day.

The people here are odd, friendly to the point of saying Howdee but it doesn't go much further than that.

Coming from a place where I was constantly in demand in my workplace and had numerous friends that demanded various activities to the complete nothingness that is now my daily life is extremely difficult.

I'd love to hear how other people in this situation cope with it.
My situation is that my husband (American) and I (UK citizen) moved to the US in May. I have a permanent resident visa but don't work yet.

Why? Well, I lived in London prior to moving and I had no great need to get a full licence (I had provisional licence and had had a number of driving lessons).

Living in the Triangle area of NC (Durham, Chapel Hill, Raleigh) I immediately realised the necessity to drive. So, I've had a dozen lessons so far and am practising with hubby in the car.

Like it or not (even if you live in a bigger city with public transport), you're going to find you'll need a driving licence to get around.

Not having a licence or a car yet has meant I haven't had as much contact with other people as I'd like. However, once you have a licence and a car, you'll have the opportunity to meet others.

Like the original poster, I don't have children either (or pets for that matter).

I intend to restart some long lost interests such as sewing. I've been trying to look for table runners for the coffee table. The kind of thing you see in the UK doesn't really exist in the US. Table runner means something else in the US (used on dining tables. Ends are pointed.)

I would attempt to grow veggies if I had a garden. I may end up having to make my own clothes unless I can get machine washable cotton clothes in a bigger city (NY or Atlanta comes to mind).

So, yes, mmm, I empathise with your situation.

You know, I nearly ended up moving to Texas...
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Old Aug 15th 2002, 6:55 pm
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Default Re: What does everyone else do?

What does table runner mean in the UK?
The "used on dining tables, pointed ends" ones are available here at Pier 1 Imports, Bed Bath and Beyond, Linens and Things and most department stores...
But sewing your own is more fun anyway- and what the hell make some curtains to match!

And good on you penquin on the drving lessons. Remember, if you lived in Outback Australia or someplace you'd need to drive as well...
Hang in there gals
Beth

Originally posted by NC Penguin:


I intend to restart some long lost interests such as sewing. I've been trying to look for table runners for the coffee table. The kind of thing you see in the UK doesn't really exist in the US. Table runner means something else in the US (used on dining tables. Ends are pointed.)
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Old Aug 15th 2002, 7:09 pm
  #6  
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Default Re: What does everyone else do?

That's pretty cool, learning to drive.. Keep it up.

That's not really my problem, I used to own a provissional too, I think it may be out of date now, but because of my visa status H4 I can't work so we only have one income coming into the house so two cars would be a bit excessive.

I've looked into some courses too but again, with my visa status the fees for tuition etc are phenomenol.

Sewing is fun, I agree but I've been here a year (California first and now Dallas) already and there's only so much sewing, crosstitching, knitting and cooking a girl can do. I don't have any pets either.

I'm reading over this and I sound like a whiney old so and so but I'm just looking for fresh new ideas honestly!! I appreciate the ideas already entered.

Tina


Originally posted by NC Penguin:


My situation is that my husband (American) and I (UK citizen) moved to the US in May. I have a permanent resident visa but don't work yet.

Why? Well, I lived in London prior to moving and I had no great need to get a full licence (I had provisional licence and had had a number of driving lessons).

Living in the Triangle area of NC (Durham, Chapel Hill, Raleigh) I immediately realised the necessity to drive. So, I've had a dozen lessons so far and am practising with hubby in the car.

Like it or not (even if you live in a bigger city with public transport), you're going to find you'll need a driving licence to get around.

Not having a licence or a car yet has meant I haven't had as much contact with other people as I'd like. However, once you have a licence and a car, you'll have the opportunity to meet others.

Like the original poster, I don't have children either (or pets for that matter).

I intend to restart some long lost interests such as sewing. I've been trying to look for table runners for the coffee table. The kind of thing you see in the UK doesn't really exist in the US. Table runner means something else in the US (used on dining tables. Ends are pointed.)

I would attempt to grow veggies if I had a garden. I may end up having to make my own clothes unless I can get machine washable cotton clothes in a bigger city (NY or Atlanta comes to mind).

So, yes, mmm, I empathise with your situation.

You know, I nearly ended up moving to Texas...
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Old Aug 15th 2002, 7:12 pm
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Default Re: What does everyone else do?

Originally posted by ms_bhon:
What does table runner mean in the UK?
The "used on dining tables, pointed ends" ones are available here at Pier 1 Imports, Bed Bath and Beyond, Linens and Things and most department stores...
But sewing your own is more fun anyway- and what the hell make some curtains to match!

And good on you penquin on the drving lessons. Remember, if you lived in Outback Australia or someplace you'd need to drive as well...
Hang in there gals
Beth
The runners with pointed ends are NOT the kind I want. I've seen the pointy end runners in dept. stores and the like. The kind I want for the coffee table is either rectangular in shape or is rectangular with rounded ends. It would not drape over the ends of the table (hazardous). The size is almost the same as the surface of the coffee table, perhaps an inch less per side.

I have to admit that I actually bought my Mum a table runner like the one I want myself when I visited NY back in 97. However, I bought it in a "green flea" market and it was described as "antique" (it was about 40 years old). So, the US used to use table runners identical to the ones found in the UK.

Sadly, I can't make curtains 'cos I live in a rented apt that has those pesky venetian blinds (UK term?).
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Old Aug 15th 2002, 7:16 pm
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Default Re: What does everyone else do?

This probably sounds silly but have you tried any second hand/thrift shops for what you're after?




Originally posted by NC Penguin:


The runners with pointed ends are NOT the kind I want. I've seen the pointy end runners in dept. stores and the like. The kind I want for the coffee table is either rectangular in shape or is rectangular with rounded ends. It would not drape over the ends of the table (hazardous). The size is almost the same as the surface of the coffee table, perhaps an inch less per side.

I have to admit that I actually bought my Mum a table runner like the one I want myself when I visited NY back in 97. However, I bought it in a "green flea" market and it was described as "antique" (it was about 40 years old). So, the US used to use table runners identical to the ones found in the UK.

Sadly, I can't make curtains 'cos I live in a rented apt that has those pesky venetian blinds (UK term?).
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Old Aug 15th 2002, 7:53 pm
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Default Re: What does everyone else do?

On Thu, 15 Aug 2002 14:14:24 +0000, mmm <[email protected]> wrote:

    >We moved to California a year ago and now we have relocated to Dallas. My husband is
    >British on a H1, I'm on a H4.
    >The isolation and boredom really starts to get to you once you've unpacked and start
    >looking for things to do. I've checked all the volunteer sites and they're all
    >really good except for one thing. I don't drive and can't get to them easily. We've
    >no children and my husband works all day.
    >The people here are odd, friendly to the point of saying Howdee but it doesn't go
    >much further than that.
    >Coming from a place where I was constantly in demand in my workplace and had
    >numerous friends that demanded various activities to the complete nothingness that
    >is now my daily life is extremely difficult.
    >I'd love to hear how other people in this situation cope with it.

Along with all the ideas about getting a car and whatever for companionship you may
consider a pet...I don't think it will solve all the problems and you should also
look into a class or hobby where you meet people, but pets can add joy to your life
also. Karryl
 
Old Aug 15th 2002, 7:54 pm
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Default Re: What does everyone else do?

Hi Tina,

I too am in the US on a H-4.

I've got a child so it's not quite so bad for me but at the end of our first year here he started school and I really felt at a loss. It is extremely hard not being able to get a job but it was something my husband and I discussed at length before we came. However, talking about it and actually being in the position are two different things.

I go out and volunteer 3 times a week. I've met loads of new people and it certainly keeps me busy and the days fly by. It is difficult only having the one car, the US is definitely a car society. My husband would drive to work, park the car and it would stay there in the car park until it was time to come home again. So for the first few years we were here I would drive him to work and then pick him up again at the end of the day. If your husband doesn't use the car for his job then perhaps when you have learnt to drive you could use the car in the day time. Failing that you could always get a cheap run around like I did.

On the volunteer front, another option may be volunteering one evening a week. Your husband could drive you there and back. One of my volunteer jobs is in the evening. Check out Volunteer Match at www.volunteermatch.org they have literally thousands of volunteer positions.

Keep your chin up

Sue.

Originally posted by mmm:
We moved to California a year ago and now we have relocated to Dallas. My husband is British on a H1, I'm on a H4.

The isolation and boredom really starts to get to you once you've unpacked and start looking for things to do. I've checked all the volunteer sites and they're all really good except for one thing. I don't drive and can't get to them easily. We've no children and my husband works all day.

The people here are odd, friendly to the point of saying Howdee but it doesn't go much further than that.

Coming from a place where I was constantly in demand in my workplace and had numerous friends that demanded various activities to the complete nothingness that is now my daily life is extremely difficult.

I'd love to hear how other people in this situation cope with it.
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Old Aug 20th 2002, 7:36 pm
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Default Re: What does everyone else do?

"Ranjini" <[email protected]> wrote:

    > There is a common thread in all the posts where the poster is asking for help to
    > overcome boredom. They don't drive!! In this country where public transport is
    > practically non-existant or not that good, being able to drive is a must. That's
    > what you have to do -- learn to drive. Talk to your husband about buying a second
    > car. Cars are available in prices to suit anyones purse. Then you could start to
    > look for work, if that's what you want to do.

Volunteer work for an H-4er.

Andy.

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Old Aug 20th 2002, 8:15 pm
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Default Re: What does everyone else do?

I take it you have vertical blinds not mini-blinds. I hate those too. But you can do up nice jabots or topper window treatments for them to offset the verticals.

As for the runner what you are looking for use to be called doilies here in the States. Many people crochet them. I have for use on the headrest and arms of hubby's favorite chair. You can also find them on e-bay and in many antique and second hand shops.

Rete
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Old Aug 20th 2002, 8:24 pm
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Default Re: What does everyone else do?

Originally posted by Rete:
I take it you have vertical blinds not mini-blinds. I hate those too. But you can do up nice jabots or topper window treatments for them to offset the verticals.

As for the runner what you are looking for use to be called doilies here in the States. Many people crochet them. I have for use on the headrest and arms of hubby's favorite chair. You can also find them on e-bay and in many antique and second hand shops.

Rete
My pet peeve are blinds. The blinds in the apartment are mini blinds I think. They're horizontal and each piece is about an inch thick. I also detest roller blinds too.

The mini blinds in question are crappy 'cos they don't stop light coming in, even when closed as fully as possible. Also, they're a drag to open and close all the time, keeping them fully horizontal.

So, US English used doillies to refer to table runners as well as round "doillies". I believe doillies is the term used for round mats (usually crocheted) in British English.

I want to check round the local secondhand and "antique" stores for a suitable table runner. It's a definite "no" to pointed ends and especially to tasselled ends. This is for a coffee table, you know!
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Old Aug 20th 2002, 11:20 pm
  #14  
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Default Re: What does everyone else do?

I just have to ask...... Why don't you get a license? My wife in RU is taking the
classes and had completed some of the tests. None of her family has ever driven
before and it was something she wanted to do. When you spoke about driving......you
didn't say you wanted or not. If you stuck at home .....why not get a license? You
have plenty of time for it. Then at least you can go to groups and make friends. This
will make all the world of difference for you, ( the friends)
 
Old Aug 21st 2002, 4:48 pm
  #15  
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Default Re: What does everyone else do?

mmm <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:<[email protected]>...
    > The isolation and boredom really starts to get to you once you've unpacked and
    > start looking for things to do. I've checked all the volunteer sites and they're
    > all really good except for one thing. I don't drive and can't get to them easily.
    > We've no children and my husband works all day.
    > Coming from a place where I was constantly in demand in my workplace and had
    > numerous friends that demanded various activities to the complete nothingness that
    > is now my daily life is extremely difficult.
    > I'd love to hear how other people in this situation cope with it.

Ian's been doing things around the house. He gardens, reorganizes the laundry, plays
with the cats.. he's also taken up home decorating (our bathroom has never looked
better). He also plays the guitar and has taken up a workout routine.

And there's always the computer.
 

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