edwardoxford

We have lived in Missouri for two years now. My Wife has a senior position in a large company, I am self employed and we have two kids in school.

For the most part we are politely accepted, and often people say how much they love our accent. But there is an underlying, unsaid tone of ‘what do you know, you’re a foreigner!’ Or perhaps we are just being paranoid.

We would be interested to hear others experience, from wherever you are in the States. Do you feel second rate due to not being a National? Have you felt you haven’t got a job due to your nationality? Do you feel tolerated or accepted? If you have kids, do you feel they have great opportunities, or will their nationality be a disadvantage?

SanDiegogirl

Lived in Missoouri for a year when we first arrived in US.
Must say, can't remember ever having this experience of 'what do you know?' (maybe it's a particular subject you are getting this reaction to - i.e American politics?). Found Missourians to be very friendly (more so than Californians actually). Although, in the long run have found that Americans are very attached to family and life long friends and it can be a bit difficult to get integrated with such groups.

Again, never experienced not being able to get job due to not being American..

Winston_the_Great_Dane

Funny you say that. I have the same underlying feeling, and I'm in my 7th year now. Nobody has ever called me out directly, but I am acutely aware that many people were brought up and raised here and who am I to hold a dissenting opinion? But I have to remind myself this is a land of immigrants and most people's families weren't from here either. Just time I guess until you have sufficient residence to be a 'local' - in Norfolk UK, that was about 30 years

Glasgow Girl

I have lived in St. Louis for a long time and have never felt that I was not accepted or treated differently. I lived in Austin for a couple of years prior to that and never had any issues there either. I have met various ex pats from different countries that have a tendency to criticize how things are done over here, without taking the time to understand why, or simply to accept that some things are different and I can see how that would not be welcomed.

karenkaren1

I live in Miami. I dont have this problem as pretty much everyone here is a foreigner!

sid nv

If you want to feel accepted and avoid those unsaid underlying tones, get down to your local biker bar. A few beers and shooting some pool will result in politeness being discarded and some forthright views espoused. I find that this is an agreeable way to come to an inclusion.

Tarkak9

Meh ... I basically have ignored it all over time. There are 2 words I used to say whilst shrugging my shoulders when encountering people with such sentiment over here, and that would be, "Opinions vary" - and I would simply walk off. Fortunately, or otherwise, I am dual citizen and subsequently, dual cultural. It is natural to feel confused in unfamiliar surroundings and lost especially when encountering a tone of "what do you know, you're a foreigner" - however, pause and think for moment; well, what do (they) know? Albeit. Often people with that tone are merely projecting their fear and insecurity on a situation and on someone rather to rationally attempt to view it as an opportunity to learn a different perspective to the wide world from the like of you, or 'us'. (Basically we are living in the cave allegory). Whether in the US or the UK - Stand tall. I have always embraced my dual nationality; I have always thought it as a blessing - one huge asset is the opportunity not to conform - to US or UK ideals as the case may be and see it as an ability to be develop and define an individual identity. As we age, the more, we don't give a f@ck, becomes apparent. I guess its a perk to be able to think that, and I'm sure I am not alone with that thought process. TBH, I don't care if I am tolerated or accepted by others- its their issue, not mine. I am okay with who I am and I certainly don't feel second rate. If the people you are coming across have such attitude towards you as you describe, then those are the very people you don't want to surround yourself in your life!!
As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." With regards to your kids, (and stating this as growing up with similar standings) overall, they have great opportunities ahead of themselves (you and they just don't realize it yet) - its certainly not a disadvantage - for the very reasons I described above. Don't let today inhibit and dictate yourselves in the future - for how are we to even know what we are turning down?? I have never felt ashamed of my (dual) nationality, culture and heritage .... its all about what we can learn from it and hopefully become a better person from it.

civilservant

My usual response to this is '... and that's why I look at things with a neutral view, rather than star-spangled glasses'

Of course now that I am a USC I pretty much have had to abandon that and go full tilt red white and blue, lest I get run out of here by the pitchfork wielding locals.

robtuck

Most people down here are openly confused by my being here and seem genuinely intrigued. I've had some very fruity discussion on subjects such as the NHS with the locals and they seem happy enough to ignore my opinions without closing off the discussion or making me feel unwelcome. If a conversation ever does start to turn, it's usually easy enough to catch them off guard by talking about William and Kate.

TexanScot

I can't say I've ever had that problem here in Texas, although one does have to bear in mind that there are certain subjects that you have to tip toe around unless you're in the company of close friends.

I do generally find that before saying anything vaguely critical, it helps to first state how much you love living here in the Great State of Texas before casually slipping in the "but..."

Maste

Never an issue here either and I'm in St Louis too. In fact, it's almost as if my outsider opinion is hugely welcomed and appreciated in this city!

tht

Not sure if I can comment because I am an American now. And my wife and kids are all USC from birth.

The “english” accent was a big advantage in NYC when I was still single, only had to order a drink to get ladies asking me if I was English… still get people asking if I am from England… got tired explaining I was a German who was schooled in the UK and then “Registered” as a UKC, so now I just say I am English to keep it simple.

I have lived in NYC Metro since moving here so pretty diverse anyway, would say it was worse living in Manchester UK with a southern accent than here with an English one, there I was in actual danger as a student.

BennyBall

As an Expat, now US Citizen … Every single week I receive the complementary, What a wonderful British accent, Don’t ever lose that fabulous accent !
Even if I push the buttons and politely reply … yes, but I am a proud American now, the response is usually, yes we know that, BUT ….!
I can normally walk away and smile in the knowledge that my vote is worth exactly the same as my neighbours.

kimilseung

Yes I had trouble getting a job in the US whereas , in the UK, my CV looked good, if I applied I got an interview, in the US it was very hard to hear back, I assume it was just too much trouble working out what the resume was saying.

Other than that nothing but acceptance, for the most part, better than that, I feel more accepted in the US than I ever did in the UK. My accent is liked, in the UK is wasn't and I can point to one job interview that I didn't get the job, at least in part because of it ( from feedback) and one housing turned down because of it too. Its a World apart in that regards here.

There was one or two incidents, once someone got upset because i was showing them Photoshop using a photo of Obama, they perceived that as me being disrespectful, another time an "Irish-American" had a go at me for being English. Neither incident was a problem, just odd.

hutchison

4 years in the blue ridge around Virginia, and most people think I am Australian (UK), so I go along with it and have fun.
the people around here are quite welcoming, interested, and appeasing, never felt any undertones, just interested people, those times which have been marginally confrontational were just those type of Individuals, and I bite as hard as they do.

The accent around here can be quite thick and difficult to interpret with those indigenous to the blue ridge, and I often have to ask twice, I find it helps a lot to accentuate A's as Americans do, to get by, and to get asked less about nationality!. WAAH-DER and not WOR-TER.

it does feel strange to adjust your accent, but I feel I have to make a little effort to mingle, after all we learn other languages, why not American .
my Wife is insistent she will not change hers and still says steak and chips for tea?, and I respond 'i'll take it with fries or wedges if you have some