EnglishRose15

Just posting this, as I know many of you have had experience of this.

The situation is this, we are in Australia and have been here for 14 years. The truth is I have never been truely happy here, as all my family are in the UK, and came here with my husband who does have a daughter and other family members here. Last year we decided to go back to the UK to give living there a go, so we packed up, rented out our house and shipped our pets back. My husband got a leave of absence from his job. We settled in quite well into a rented cottage, the main issue was jobs, we were both unable to find permanent jobs and could not live on temp wages, so at the end of six months moved back here where we felt we would be more secure. I got a well paid job within 1 week of being back, so we thought that was the right decision.

Now for the question, at the time we were in the UK my sister had been having treatment for melanoma, but she was doing well, now we have been back 12 months and she has to have some serious surgery and I am worried sick about her. I just want to be there, no matter what our personal situation. I realise we cannot go back just because someone is ill, but in truth, my heart has never left, it was my head which overruled me into coming back, but now I feel empty. We live in a nice house, but even after all this time, have few friends and feel numb.

Sorry to ramble, just wanted to see if anyone else has a similar story.
Thanks,

quoll

Aw, have some {{{hugs}}}

I have no idea what the answer is for you only to say it is very hard to live without a heart and if yours isnt here after 14 years, it isnt going to be. This is a rotten time for anyone moving in either direction so you didnt really have the best of options when you moved - I dont know that things are that much better for what you would need to be employed in. It is a sad thing though that money is important in life and nothing feeds depression quite like poverty.

If it were me, and I had a husband who would go, I would be back like a shot - you only get one set of people, you can always work harder, save up and have nicer houses and bigger cars but once the people have gone they wont be back and are irreplaceable. Is there any chance of a leave of absence from work for you to spend a few months there?

Good luck!

Sally Simpson

I really feel for you as you must feel very torn at the moment.
As Quoll says, can you take some leave to go back & see your sister through this? Surely it does not necessarily need to be a permanent return to the UK unless that is what you both really want.
Has the job situation changed in the UK & does it really matter?
If you need to be seeing your sister through this, there really is only one answer though.
Very best of luck with your decision & a big cyber hug too!

livinginreality

I understand how you feel about this.I left my Mum and siblings in Oz when I returned to the UK 10 years ago.In that time my Mum's health has declined,and a brother and sister have suffered with skin cancer.I have often felt like upping sticks and heading back there.Its so difficult because we have a fab life here.There's no easy answer I'm afraid.As other posters have suggested what about taking some time out to spend with your sister?Something I have thought about lately for myself is this,(can't use Mum as an example because she is too old to relocate)If god forbid I became ill would any of my siblings leave their homes,jobs,lifestyles to live over here for me?In a nutshell,no they would'nt.I know that sounds harsh but thats the way I look at my own circumstances.Best of luck honey,as I said its not easy!Big hug too xx

EnglishRose15

Thanks you guys,

What you say makes perfect sense, it is good to hear it from others though, most of it I have told myself a hundred times.

I am thinking very carefully about everything, and will keep you posted.

Cheers.