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-   -   What do we do? I'm sure I don't know! (https://britishexpats.com/forum/usa-57/what-do-we-do-im-sure-i-dont-know-602759/)

Lazzza Apr 9th 2009 7:47 pm

What do we do? I'm sure I don't know!
 
Well, how do I start? I am 37, married with 4 kids. My eldest is 17 and going to Uni in September this year. The next is 16, the next 7 and my wee one is 2. I am a lawyer (eek!) but I am actually a nice person! Honestly!

My hubbie has a job which means he works a great deal in Houston. It is bery likely he wil have to move there eventually, probably in the next year. My question is, what do I do? Can anyone help? I am at a loss!

I am excited by the fact that we have to embrace a new culture. I am worried by the fact I would be leaving my oldest child at home (at Uni). I am elated by the fact I would be leaving my job behind. I am worried by the fact I may be useless over the pond. I am excited by challenge. I have sleepless nights about the challenge. I know I am a well travelled, well educated, worldly person. I know I am from the north of Scotland, which is often far removed from civilisation! Oh God will I fit in?

I am totally positive but any suggestions would be most welcome. My view is that this is where we are supposed to be. But your input would be most welcome!

caleyjag Apr 9th 2009 7:58 pm

Re: What do we do? I'm sure I don't know!
 
Don't worry, I am also from the north of Scotland and fit in quite well across the pond. Loads of ex-pats in Houston too.

In fact I think yanks understand our accent quite a lot easier than folks from Dundee, Aberdeen or Glasgow so that's a bonus. I have no trouble.

You are happy to leave your job behind.... sounds like you are all set!

And don't worry about your eldest..... I'm sure he'll find the student union to his liking. What uni is he going to?

Noorah101 Apr 9th 2009 8:08 pm

Re: What do we do? I'm sure I don't know!
 
I moved this thread to the USA forum, since it's more to do with "fitting in" rather than what visa is needed. Hopefully hubby's company sorts out the correct visa for him.

Rene
Moderator

Bluegrass Lass Apr 9th 2009 8:13 pm

Re: What do we do? I'm sure I don't know!
 
Well, not to be too technical, but you need to sort out the visa your husband could be immigrating on. Depending on the visa type, it could work out just fine for you, or it could be a nightmare.

Is he going to simply do an international transfer? If that's the case, his employer is likely to apply for an L visa on his behalf, which means you will get an L derivative visa. You will be eligible to work on that visa. If he's expecting to get a job here, then he would likely need to get an H1-B visa. His prospective US employer would have to sponsor that visa. Unfortunately, if the H1-B is his visa route, then you will likely have an H4, and you will not be eligible to work on that visa. This may or may not be a problem for you. There are several other drawbacks to the H1-B, which I'll let others that have been thru the process explain.

Once the visa is sorted, then you need to start worrying bout all those other little niggling details you've mentioned!

Lazzza Apr 9th 2009 8:22 pm

Re: What do we do? I'm sure I don't know!
 
Strathclyde Uni (Mechanical Engineeering MEng). There are apparently like 5 levels of fun to be had there! God that's a lot to worry about, never mind Houston!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1:D

caleyjag Apr 9th 2009 8:28 pm

Re: What do we do? I'm sure I don't know!
 

Originally Posted by Lazzza (Post 7467323)
Strathclyde Uni (Mechanical Engineeering MEng). There are apparently like 5 levels of fun to be had there! God that's a lot to worry about, never mind Houston!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1:D

Yes the Stathclyde union is excellent.

However it's The Garage you really need to be worried about!!! Hope mum has educated him properly on the birds and the bees....

Glasgow's student life is excellent. You won't need to worry about him. He'll be far too busy. Also the engineering program at Strathclyde is quite good so he will be very busy with school.

Lazzza Apr 9th 2009 8:31 pm

Re: What do we do? I'm sure I don't know!
 
CaleyJag? That must be Caley Thistle??

ChocolateBabz Apr 9th 2009 8:32 pm

Re: What do we do? I'm sure I don't know!
 
You'll be fine fitting in over here - we are from Aberdeen and loving it. After all every American is a distant cousin - all claiming to be either Scottish or Irish ;). We figured if we didn't take this opportunty now it might not come up again and neither of us was getting any younger - OK so it's jumping in at the deep end but I am an NBW (Natural Born Worrier) so if I can do this anyone can.

Elvira Apr 9th 2009 8:34 pm

Re: What do we do? I'm sure I don't know!
 

Originally Posted by Lazzza (Post 7467227)
Well, how do I start? I am 37, married with 4 kids. My eldest is 17 and going to Uni in September this year. The next is 16, the next 7 and my wee one is 2. .......... I am totally positive but any suggestions would be most welcome. My view is that this is where we are supposed to be. But your input would be most welcome!

My suggestion: don't do it...

Moving with teenagers is a minefield. I could write a book. We moved with 3 teenagers, they never settled, and cannot wait to get back - but the older they get, the more difficult this gets because of all the education issues. I blame myself every day for having messed up their lives.

Seriously, don't do it.

Plus Houston is a dump.

Bluegrass Lass Apr 9th 2009 8:38 pm

Re: What do we do? I'm sure I don't know!
 

Originally Posted by caleyjag (Post 7467345)
Yes the Stathclyde union is excellent.

However it's The Garage you really need to be worried about!!! Hope mum has educated him properly on the birds and the bees....

Glasgow's student life is excellent. You won't need to worry about him. He'll be far too busy. Also the engineering program at Strathclyde is quite good so he will be very busy with school.

Ha! The Garage! I got lost in there the few times I went, but the alcohol could have added to the confusion. I studied at Univ. of Glasgow for a term (during which I met my OH) and I can vouch for the fun to be had for students. :D

Lazzza Apr 9th 2009 8:51 pm

Re: What do we do? I'm sure I don't know!
 
Do you think? I have been there and the places I went were fantastic. Where is so bad? I'd love to know! All my husbands's co-workers places were amazing as well.

Englishtart Apr 9th 2009 8:55 pm

Re: What do we do? I'm sure I don't know!
 
I would say that only you and your family members know how you feel about moving over here, and are the only ones that can make that decision :)

Having said that, it's going to be a hard move for you, leaving your oldest Son is not going to be easy, but you probably wouldn't see too much of him anyway, with him being at Uni. Your other kids will have to adapt to a totally different educational system, most schools start very early here, my Son leaves home at 6:30am to get the school bus, he is home at 3:10pm. They usually have lots of after school activities, clubs, sports etc, Summer holidays are usually very long almost 3 months! But they don't get a lot of other holidays, usually just 4 day weekends etc, maybe a week here or there.

Houston is very hot in the Summer, not sure about humidity, but when I lived in San Antonio, it was very humid there. My kids were ok with it, but I hated it.

Do you know how long you will be in the US? or is it a permanent move?
maybe it would be better for you to visit Houston, before you make any plans to move there, if you read the 'moving back to the UK' threads, you will see how other people have coped (or not) lots of nightmare stories on there, so I would just add that if you do decide to move, give yourself at least a year there, before you decide that you hate it and want to go home!


Welcome to the board:) and good luck!

Lazzza Apr 9th 2009 8:58 pm

Re: What do we do? I'm sure I don't know!
 

Originally Posted by sunflwrgrl13 (Post 7467370)
Ha! The Garage! I got lost in there the few times I went, but the alcohol could have added to the confusion. I studied at Univ. of Glasgow for a term (during which I met my OH) and I can vouch for the fun to be had for students. :D

That is funny. I love the fact our students have a blast at Uni. I did and hope my son does too!

Lazzza Apr 9th 2009 9:09 pm

Re: What do we do? I'm sure I don't know!
 

Originally Posted by Englishtart (Post 7467421)
I would say that only you and your family members know how you feel about moving over here, and are the only ones that can make that decision :)

Having said that, it's going to be a hard move for you, leaving your oldest Son is not going to be easy, but you probably wouldn't see too much of him anyway, with him being at Uni. Your other kids will have to adapt to a totally different educational system, most schools start very early here, my Son leaves home at 6:30am to get the school bus, he is home at 3:10pm. They usually have lots of after school activities, clubs, sports etc, Summer holidays are usually very long almost 3 months! But they don't get a lot of other holidays, usually just 4 day weekends etc, maybe a week here or there.

Houston is very hot in the Summer, not sure about humidity, but when I lived in San Antonio, it was very humid there. My kids were ok with it, but I hated it.

Do you know how long you will be in the US? or is it a permanent move?
maybe it would be better for you to visit Houston, before you make any plans to move there, if you read the 'moving back to the UK' threads, you will see how other people have coped (or not) lots of nightmare stories on there, so I would just add that if you do decide to move, give yourself at least a year there, before you decide that you hate it and want to go home!


Welcome to the board:) and good luck!

I have already visited Houston. I'd love to know more about the education system for 7 to 8 year olds and 2-3 year olds. My 16-17 I do not worry about so much because she will do her Highers here in Scotland and also study at Uni here. And the one going to Strathclyde, well, he will have the time of his life! It is the younger ones who worry me. Our education system is so good, at least where I live.

Lazzza Apr 9th 2009 9:17 pm

Re: What do we do? I'm sure I don't know!
 

Originally Posted by caleyjag (Post 7467345)
Yes the Stathclyde union is excellent.

However it's The Garage you really need to be worried about!!! Hope mum has educated him properly on the birds and the bees....

Glasgow's student life is excellent. You won't need to worry about him. He'll be far too busy. Also the engineering program at Strathclyde is quite good so he will be very busy with school.

Well you know there is only so much a mum can do viz a vis women!!!!! My view is that he should be left to find his own way. Scary but better. And he plays rugby so he kinda knows about the beer thingy. (the hubby also plays rugby, so ken fit like)


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