Songbird

Stay strong Emma and keep pushing through girl!

You really should try contacting your local HUD / Section 8 office and see if you qualify for rental assistance. Me and hubby where eligible (even though I am not a US Cit yet- that doesn't matter). It's means tested so if hubby's wages are low enough then it's possible you will qualify There's often a waiting list (and some states because of the high demand have closed their lists) but it's definitely something you can at least find out about with a quick phone call to the public housing office It does vary from state to state BUT once you are qualified then it is transferable to other states.

Off the top of my head - (if you qualify) - you would get assistance towards the rental of two bedroom property. IIRC me and hubby were given a voucher that contributed approx $238 a month towards the rent. Then it's just a case of finding a landlord that accepts the vouchers as part payment and you are good to go.

You have about 6 months (plus time extensions if you need it) to find somewhere suitable. You don't have to have a place lined up before you apply, the calculations for the amount awarded are done based upon a percentage of the mean average rental costs (can't recall if this is statewide or county - but the public housing office will tell you ). Also there is rule that your part of co-payment cannot leave you with less than a certain amount of remaining income to live off - but again office will explain that all to you. Here in WV, the application was fairly simple and straightforward, and also relatively quick.

Worth checking out to see if you do qualify based upon your income plus of course if the 'inductee' lists are open.

WEBlue

Thinking of you, Emma. Sounds like you are making great progress in your new life. Hope you and your husband can get out from under the thumb of those in-laws-from-hell soon!

Emma M

UPDATE: Well it took a little while, but we did it, we got out of there and into our own apartment
We both have good full time jobs now, Phoenix is in daycare, things are going fairly well.
We sort of had to leave their house in the end, things turned very ugly and the deciding moment was when my father in law decided to square up to my son, who was only 2 years old at the time. Ohh no, that's not happening, I can put up with the bs and drama headed my way, but involve my child? There's going to be a whole other type of drama going on!!
So anyway, that's us for now, getting on with it and away from the hell lol.

Sally Redux

Good to see you and hear that things are going well!

Nutmegger

Good for you! Hope that things continue to improve and you all enjoy life.

Trixie_b

Congrats on the move and on the jobs!

Michael

Congratulations. Hopefully you are now a fully licensed expert driver (according to US standards) and can be more independent.

Lbjen

So glad to hear you managed to make the move.

Emma M

Not yet - I've developed a phobia, put me behind the wheel and I freak. I need to drive, it's just not easy to work through a phobia But I'll work on it!

Michael

One idea is to go to some community college parking lot on the weekends and drive around it. Usually at community colleges, very few people are there on the weekends. I used to live next to a community college that had about 10 parking lots (some were next to each other and some were a few hundred feet away). I never used it to teach someone to drive but did use it to teach my ex g/f how to ride a bike since she couldn't go straight enough to use a road.

Once you get your driver's license, it will make all the difference in the world so don't put it on the back burner.

Or if you know how to ride a bike, get a used scooter with saddle bags (if driver's license isn't required) and at least you'll be able to maybe go shopping by yourself at local markets using back streets and get used to traffic. Then once you start feeling confident, then you can try driving a car.

WEBlue

Well, take life one step at a time. Don't give up on the driving completely.

Michael's idea of a community college parking lot on the weekend is good. I taught myself to drive a manual in empty carparks in the early mornings--it took months, but I did a little driving every few days till I could feel less panicky and more comfortable behind the wheel.

Is there a mall near you? They have huge carparks that are empty some times of the day or evening. (Your family could shop while you lurch around an empty part of the lot. I remember I did SO much lurching when teaching myself to drive the manual.... )

Cardienscarf

Good news! Glad things are going well.

lizzyq

Great to hear you are in your own space at last. Grandfather treating the kid like that is just not on.

Good luck with the driving, I'm sure you are determined enough to get there in the end.

Scott33

I had to go back and read this thread from the beginning because I missed it first time around.

Well done for finally getting out of your awful situation. It reads very similar to the 3 months of hell my wife and I went through when I first moved here. My how people can change . Your independence is the worst thing that can happen to these control-freaks. But why stop there? Neither ask them for any help if you are struggling in the future, nor offer it when the time comes that they need it - and they will need it, particularly as they age. If cutting them off completely isn't practical, then the cold shoulder at family gatherings usually gets the point across. Been doing it for over a decade now