What to do???
#106
Re: What to do???
Stay strong Emma and keep pushing through girl!
You really should try contacting your local HUD / Section 8 office and see if you qualify for rental assistance. Me and hubby where eligible (even though I am not a US Cit yet- that doesn't matter). It's means tested so if hubby's wages are low enough then it's possible you will qualify There's often a waiting list (and some states because of the high demand have closed their lists) but it's definitely something you can at least find out about with a quick phone call to the public housing office It does vary from state to state BUT once you are qualified then it is transferable to other states.
Off the top of my head - (if you qualify) - you would get assistance towards the rental of two bedroom property. IIRC me and hubby were given a voucher that contributed approx $238 a month towards the rent. Then it's just a case of finding a landlord that accepts the vouchers as part payment and you are good to go.
You have about 6 months (plus time extensions if you need it) to find somewhere suitable. You don't have to have a place lined up before you apply, the calculations for the amount awarded are done based upon a percentage of the mean average rental costs (can't recall if this is statewide or county - but the public housing office will tell you ). Also there is rule that your part of co-payment cannot leave you with less than a certain amount of remaining income to live off - but again office will explain that all to you. Here in WV, the application was fairly simple and straightforward, and also relatively quick.
Worth checking out to see if you do qualify based upon your income plus of course if the 'inductee' lists are open.
You really should try contacting your local HUD / Section 8 office and see if you qualify for rental assistance. Me and hubby where eligible (even though I am not a US Cit yet- that doesn't matter). It's means tested so if hubby's wages are low enough then it's possible you will qualify There's often a waiting list (and some states because of the high demand have closed their lists) but it's definitely something you can at least find out about with a quick phone call to the public housing office It does vary from state to state BUT once you are qualified then it is transferable to other states.
Off the top of my head - (if you qualify) - you would get assistance towards the rental of two bedroom property. IIRC me and hubby were given a voucher that contributed approx $238 a month towards the rent. Then it's just a case of finding a landlord that accepts the vouchers as part payment and you are good to go.
You have about 6 months (plus time extensions if you need it) to find somewhere suitable. You don't have to have a place lined up before you apply, the calculations for the amount awarded are done based upon a percentage of the mean average rental costs (can't recall if this is statewide or county - but the public housing office will tell you ). Also there is rule that your part of co-payment cannot leave you with less than a certain amount of remaining income to live off - but again office will explain that all to you. Here in WV, the application was fairly simple and straightforward, and also relatively quick.
Worth checking out to see if you do qualify based upon your income plus of course if the 'inductee' lists are open.
Last edited by Songbird; May 9th 2013 at 9:24 pm.
#107
Re: What to do???
Thinking of you, Emma. Sounds like you are making great progress in your new life. Hope you and your husband can get out from under the thumb of those in-laws-from-hell soon!
#108
Re: What to do???
UPDATE: Well it took a little while, but we did it, we got out of there and into our own apartment
We both have good full time jobs now, Phoenix is in daycare, things are going fairly well.
We sort of had to leave their house in the end, things turned very ugly and the deciding moment was when my father in law decided to square up to my son, who was only 2 years old at the time. Ohh no, that's not happening, I can put up with the bs and drama headed my way, but involve my child? There's going to be a whole other type of drama going on!!
So anyway, that's us for now, getting on with it and away from the hell lol.
We both have good full time jobs now, Phoenix is in daycare, things are going fairly well.
We sort of had to leave their house in the end, things turned very ugly and the deciding moment was when my father in law decided to square up to my son, who was only 2 years old at the time. Ohh no, that's not happening, I can put up with the bs and drama headed my way, but involve my child? There's going to be a whole other type of drama going on!!
So anyway, that's us for now, getting on with it and away from the hell lol.
#109
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 41,518
Re: What to do???
Good to see you and hear that things are going well!
#111
Re: What to do???
UPDATE: Well it took a little while, but we did it, we got out of there and into our own apartment
We both have good full time jobs now, Phoenix is in daycare, things are going fairly well.
We sort of had to leave their house in the end, things turned very ugly and the deciding moment was when my father in law decided to square up to my son, who was only 2 years old at the time. Ohh no, that's not happening, I can put up with the bs and drama headed my way, but involve my child? There's going to be a whole other type of drama going on!!
So anyway, that's us for now, getting on with it and away from the hell lol.
We both have good full time jobs now, Phoenix is in daycare, things are going fairly well.
We sort of had to leave their house in the end, things turned very ugly and the deciding moment was when my father in law decided to square up to my son, who was only 2 years old at the time. Ohh no, that's not happening, I can put up with the bs and drama headed my way, but involve my child? There's going to be a whole other type of drama going on!!
So anyway, that's us for now, getting on with it and away from the hell lol.
#112
Re: What to do???
Congratulations. Hopefully you are now a fully licensed expert driver (according to US standards) and can be more independent.
#113
Forum Regular
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 214
Re: What to do???
So glad to hear you managed to make the move.
#114
Re: What to do???
Not yet - I've developed a phobia, put me behind the wheel and I freak. I need to drive, it's just not easy to work through a phobia But I'll work on it!
#115
Re: What to do???
Once you get your driver's license, it will make all the difference in the world so don't put it on the back burner.
Or if you know how to ride a bike, get a used scooter with saddle bags (if driver's license isn't required) and at least you'll be able to maybe go shopping by yourself at local markets using back streets and get used to traffic. Then once you start feeling confident, then you can try driving a car.
Last edited by Michael; Oct 6th 2013 at 12:10 am.
#116
Re: What to do???
Michael's idea of a community college parking lot on the weekend is good. I taught myself to drive a manual in empty carparks in the early mornings--it took months, but I did a little driving every few days till I could feel less panicky and more comfortable behind the wheel.
Is there a mall near you? They have huge carparks that are empty some times of the day or evening. (Your family could shop while you lurch around an empty part of the lot. I remember I did SO much lurching when teaching myself to drive the manual.... )
#118
Re: What to do???
UPDATE: Well it took a little while, but we did it, we got out of there and into our own apartment
We both have good full time jobs now, Phoenix is in daycare, things are going fairly well.
We sort of had to leave their house in the end, things turned very ugly and the deciding moment was when my father in law decided to square up to my son, who was only 2 years old at the time. Ohh no, that's not happening, I can put up with the bs and drama headed my way, but involve my child? There's going to be a whole other type of drama going on!!
So anyway, that's us for now, getting on with it and away from the hell lol.
We both have good full time jobs now, Phoenix is in daycare, things are going fairly well.
We sort of had to leave their house in the end, things turned very ugly and the deciding moment was when my father in law decided to square up to my son, who was only 2 years old at the time. Ohh no, that's not happening, I can put up with the bs and drama headed my way, but involve my child? There's going to be a whole other type of drama going on!!
So anyway, that's us for now, getting on with it and away from the hell lol.
Good luck with the driving, I'm sure you are determined enough to get there in the end.
#119
Re: What to do???
UPDATE: Well it took a little while, but we did it, we got out of there and into our own apartment
We both have good full time jobs now, Phoenix is in daycare, things are going fairly well.
We sort of had to leave their house in the end, things turned very ugly and the deciding moment was when my father in law decided to square up to my son, who was only 2 years old at the time. Ohh no, that's not happening, I can put up with the bs and drama headed my way, but involve my child? There's going to be a whole other type of drama going on!!
So anyway, that's us for now, getting on with it and away from the hell lol.
We both have good full time jobs now, Phoenix is in daycare, things are going fairly well.
We sort of had to leave their house in the end, things turned very ugly and the deciding moment was when my father in law decided to square up to my son, who was only 2 years old at the time. Ohh no, that's not happening, I can put up with the bs and drama headed my way, but involve my child? There's going to be a whole other type of drama going on!!
So anyway, that's us for now, getting on with it and away from the hell lol.
Well done for finally getting out of your awful situation. It reads very similar to the 3 months of hell my wife and I went through when I first moved here. My how people can change . Your independence is the worst thing that can happen to these control-freaks. But why stop there? Neither ask them for any help if you are struggling in the future, nor offer it when the time comes that they need it - and they will need it, particularly as they age. If cutting them off completely isn't practical, then the cold shoulder at family gatherings usually gets the point across. Been doing it for over a decade now