bored-silly

Sorry you are having such a shitty time. I have absolutely NO experience of this myself other than what has happened to divorced friends but surely she cannot do this to him. She would have to prove that he is a really, really terrible father in court to keep him away.
There seems to be so much in the press in the UK - you may have seen the 'fathers for justice' gang scaling the walls of Buck Palace. I know they have a web site which may help. Also there is a web site www.cafcass.gov.uk which seems to be quite helpful.
Like I said, no personal experience, just feel for you.
Good luck

Taffyles

My opinion FWIW...NO, absolutely not- don't get into any game playing on this. Turning up on the doorstep unnanounced will likely cause a scene ...with the kids watching??? That would only upset them. They are the only innocent victims in all this and should be put first by all. Go through the courts to get what you want, if you aren't satisfied with what your solicitor told you then find another.

Access should have been sorted out before the divorce was finalised. If he was granted access by the judge then there is no way his ex can refuse to let him see them (well she could but he could take her to court for refusing).

If he wasn't granted access then there must have been a reason to deny it (that goes before a judge)..and in that case, the solicitor would be right the mother does call all the shots, if she was granted full custody with no access for the father.

One of my friends tried to stop her ex having access to the children because he was an alcoholic- she couldn't stop the father seeing them but the judge did rule for visitation with supervision. Another friend of mine (in the UK), whose ex left her for another woman and then emigrated to US, was afraid that if she let the kids go out for a hol, he might not send them back. So she asked her lawyer if she could refuse to send them over, and she was told no..and if he kept them, then there'd be a legal fight to get them back but she could not refuse access rights of the father. I know many stories of mothers who would dearly love to be able to stop access but can't. So there must be something that can be done.

If, after exploring all avenues,he's denied access, legally, then he'll just have to accept it, and when the kids are older they can see him whenver they want to. Grandparents have no right to access, unfortunately.

doctor scrumpy

I hate to have to say it, but you have to remember that the ex-wife can easily play the 'he will run off to the US with the kids' card. And what makes it worse is the courts will believe the mother every time it seems. A man has to prove he is a fit parent and the mother is an unfit one in the UK, a woman has to prove she has tits and a hole in the front end of story.

Unless of course you are either Prince Charles or Prince Andrew ! They are the only man I know who won custody of his kids over the mothers.

Sarah

[QUOTE=doctor scrumpy] a woman has to prove she has tits and a hole in the front end of story.

Tits and a hole???? You kiss your wife with that mouth?

Manc

well if you have a spare $7000 I can put you in touch with Mad MeatCleaver Mick.

doctor scrumpy

[QUOTE=SarahUK]
Funnily enough I type with my fingers not my mouth.

Englishmum

I was just having a feeling of 'deja-vu'.....and then realised that this very same thread (with different replies) is also on the 'Returning to the UK' forum.

At least 'Lady Lisa' over there has some promising news.....

Also - to the original poster....do take a few minutes to look up the website for the UK charity 'Reunite'. It is all about international child abduction. If your spouse learns about the regulations, he may be able to satisfy the UK courts that if the children were to visit the US that there is no question that they will be 'detained' here against the wishes of their mother. The USA and UK are both signatories to the 'Hague Convention', so indeed if he did choose to abduct them (which of course I'm sure he wouldn't!) it is obvious that the courts (UK &/or US) would order that the children are returned to the UK.

This may even be useful to know in any further court cases where your husband wishes to seek access to his children. Perhaps (upon taking legal advice) this information could be shared with their mother so she knows she doesn't have a valid argument re; the children visiting the USA.

There is an e-mail or telephone advice line and a list of FAQs here:

http://www.reunite.org

(Hope this helps somewhat).

Caligirl4ever

So sorry to hear about your prob's with your hubby's ex! How mean and cruel this woman is! Just to let you know you are not alone, my ex-husband won't allow my daughter to have a relationship with me while she is living under his roof! She has to sneak around him to see me and call me on her cell phone. IT'S SICK behavior!

I think both of you should reschedule your trip and make a surprise visit! Time the visit when you think the kids would be home.

Only tell your in-laws but explain to them not to peep a word.

Good Luck to you!

Hugs,
Cali

tony126

Not knowing the facts it does not appear to me that he had a good Solicitor.When I divorced my wife she had custody of my youngest Son but it was agreed she could not take him out of the country without my permission. She was not allowed to change schools without my permission not that either of these became an issue. He was told a pack of lies about me which I did not discuss with him. My stance was that time would prove who was right. He now has nothing to do with his mother even though he has 3 wonderful kids. She ended up being the loser, big time. Love and time will tell.