Very low - what should we do ?
May 10th 2011, 10:41 pm
#16
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Re: Very low - what should we do ?
2) I'm a rather left-wing atheist. I thought I would fit-in well with the SF type, but I can see I was living in a bygone 1960s era ! Joining a church of any religion is probably out (not that I will stop anyone else from their particular beliefs). I just feel out-of-place in my views, opinions, etc, etc. I never answer back (that would be rude and disrespectful), but coming here makes you realise how much Europe has become secular over the last few years compared to the US. Or maybe the US has lurched to the right and religion ? It all feels a bit odd !
May 10th 2011, 10:47 pm
#18
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Re: Very low - what should we do ?
2) I'm a rather left-wing atheist. I thought I would fit-in well with the SF type, but I can see I was living in a bygone 1960s era ! Joining a church of any religion is probably out (not that I will stop anyone else from their particular beliefs). I just feel out-of-place in my views, opinions, etc, etc. I never answer back (that would be rude and disrespectful), but coming here makes you realise how much Europe has become secular over the last few years compared to the US. Or maybe the US has lurched to the right and religion ? It all feels a bit odd !
Around my way at least, there's quite a few none church related parent/toddler drop in sessions held at a few churches just because they offer a hall space for free. Some music and dance groups too.
Might also have other state funded "family" networks? Down in MA, we've got http://www.bostoncentral.com/resourc...enters/p43.php
Don't know if you've got something similar in your state, but good place to meet parents or other caregivers for drop in groups, classes, trail walks, toddler dance groups or what not all for free.
May 10th 2011, 11:05 pm
#19
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Re: Very low - what should we do ?
Unitarian Universalist would be your natural home should you wish to take advantage of the social aspect of a religious organization without the fairytale stuff.
Might also have other state funded "family" networks?
We have started to meet a few ex-pats but we really want to get to the heart of the place and be more than just the ex-pats down the road.
Are people saying that you can't really get to know real Americans well ? We have some VERY good friends in France, Netherlands and Germany (locals) that we've met over the years and keep in touch with, so it's not as if we are total weirdos that no-one wants to talk to ..... at least I don't think so !
May 10th 2011, 11:17 pm
#20
Joined: Aug 2004
Location: Eugene, OR
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Re: Very low - what should we do ?
I think it just takes a while, and it can't really be forced. As an adult I've struggled to make meaningful friendships both here and in the UK. I moved around a lot as a kid (let alone emigrating to the UK and then returning!) so I no longer live near any of my old friends.
I think the best way to go is to just be a familiar face out in the community, and eventually friendships will start to form. Of course I am very bad at taking my own advice on this.
I think the best way to go is to just be a familiar face out in the community, and eventually friendships will start to form. Of course I am very bad at taking my own advice on this.
May 10th 2011, 11:34 pm
#21
Joined: Oct 2006
Location: Reno Nevada
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Re: Very low - what should we do ?
Previous poster is right.... I'm sorry about my earlier post reading as a bit grumpy, but really life is what you make it.
I've found making friends hard in California, just becasue they're different kinds of friends than the UK.... once i realized it was ME that was the the problem, it turned round for me...
I volunteer as a CASA, and the parties are always at my house, because if they're not, then they dont' happen.....
California is wonderful but you have to get stuck in to really enjoy it!
I've found making friends hard in California, just becasue they're different kinds of friends than the UK.... once i realized it was ME that was the the problem, it turned round for me...
I volunteer as a CASA, and the parties are always at my house, because if they're not, then they dont' happen.....
California is wonderful but you have to get stuck in to really enjoy it!
May 11th 2011, 12:36 am
#23
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Re: Very low - what should we do ?
May 11th 2011, 1:00 am
#24
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Joined: Nov 2003
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Re: Very low - what should we do ?
Hello all
Well, I've been here nearly 5 months now and have 9 more until the minimum term on the house lease is up (both here and in the UK).
I'm not home-sick for the UK, but underwhelmed by the US and feeling pretty low.
Wife and kids are OK - they are settling in although making friends here seems to be very, very difficult. Compared to the UK, the provision of things to do that aren't educational but are fun seems very poor - we've joined the local YMCA, but there are very few kids of our son's age (9 1/2) that seem to do anything and so little is laid on for them. Cub Scouts is OK, but pretty lame, rather babyish and dis-organised.
The weather is nice, the food is OK, the TV and radio dire (so we listen to Radio 4 and watch BBC iPlayer !) but we really are not in a "normal" life at all.
Work is horrible - it's been like going back 25+ years to the way we used to work in the UK before we discovered nice buildings and telecommuting.
What to do ? Are we being unlucky, do we need to try harder, or should we just give up and go back to Europe ?
The biggest issues for us right now are:
- School - so much homework. Obsessed with qualifications. Poor sod hardly gets any time to do anything as a "normal" child.
- After school - related to above, no-one appears to get off their backsides and DO anything.
- Dis-organisation - no-one plans ahead for ANYTHING ! Getting responses from people even to meet for a coffee is all so last-minute.
- Don't care attitude. Americans seem very good at marketing their "Great Country" where underneath they know it's a pretty awful and broken place. But they don't try and do anything about it.
- Things to do - other than eat, go to cinema or rammed-down-your-throat educational or cheesily commercial....
Right now it feels like we've moved to a country with a substantially worse standard of living than we left....
Well, I've been here nearly 5 months now and have 9 more until the minimum term on the house lease is up (both here and in the UK).
I'm not home-sick for the UK, but underwhelmed by the US and feeling pretty low.
Wife and kids are OK - they are settling in although making friends here seems to be very, very difficult. Compared to the UK, the provision of things to do that aren't educational but are fun seems very poor - we've joined the local YMCA, but there are very few kids of our son's age (9 1/2) that seem to do anything and so little is laid on for them. Cub Scouts is OK, but pretty lame, rather babyish and dis-organised.
The weather is nice, the food is OK, the TV and radio dire (so we listen to Radio 4 and watch BBC iPlayer !) but we really are not in a "normal" life at all.
Work is horrible - it's been like going back 25+ years to the way we used to work in the UK before we discovered nice buildings and telecommuting.
What to do ? Are we being unlucky, do we need to try harder, or should we just give up and go back to Europe ?
The biggest issues for us right now are:
- School - so much homework. Obsessed with qualifications. Poor sod hardly gets any time to do anything as a "normal" child.
- After school - related to above, no-one appears to get off their backsides and DO anything.
- Dis-organisation - no-one plans ahead for ANYTHING ! Getting responses from people even to meet for a coffee is all so last-minute.
- Don't care attitude. Americans seem very good at marketing their "Great Country" where underneath they know it's a pretty awful and broken place. But they don't try and do anything about it.
- Things to do - other than eat, go to cinema or rammed-down-your-throat educational or cheesily commercial....
Right now it feels like we've moved to a country with a substantially worse standard of living than we left....
http://sadtrombone.com/
May 11th 2011, 1:41 am
#25
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Re: Very low - what should we do ?
The TV can be awesome
I've got iPlayer working to our telly, but it is news and current affairs coverage that just doesn't seem to exist here other than sensationalist programs on Fox and CNN. BBC News at 10 (or any other hour) isn't on iPlayer :-(
Local news channels seem to focus on the Bay Area and bugger all else - even Bin Laden had to be linked to a "local" angle. We stopped watching altogether when the headline was "Rainbow spotted over City" - I kid you not. Don't these people know anything about the world outside ?
Local interviews even though the state is in a state don't seem to be doing a Paxman on the politicians - more like shining their shoes with their tounges.
We'd love to know what is REALLY going on - where do you find the Panorama/Newnights/Question Time equivalents for the US ???
Our local PBS station is more like the OU on BBC2 was 25+ years ago - they even try to turn Miss Marple into an educational "show." It's all a bit earnest....
Never liked the reality/sitcom/police format on either UK or US TV - just not my cup-of-tea. Seen some reasonable Nova documentaries though.
May 11th 2011, 1:47 am
#26
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 35,082
Re: Very low - what should we do ?
You are clearly too sophisticated for 'these people'. Either conquer and prove your superiority or go back to where the gettin's good.
I can't see the things you're complaining about changing for you. It's not even worth bothering to explain why it is the way it is. It just is.
I think I agree with Sarah's post.
I can't see the things you're complaining about changing for you. It's not even worth bothering to explain why it is the way it is. It just is.
I think I agree with Sarah's post.
May 11th 2011, 1:53 am
#27
Joined: Oct 2006
Location: Reno Nevada
Posts: 15,917
Re: Very low - what should we do ?
Well, we've spent hours channel surfing and so far Nada. Radio is just terrible - NPR is a joke (constantly repeating itself, no depth to "political" interviews, stuffed full of adverts hidden as sponsorship). The only saving grace(s) are "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me", "Car Talk" and "Prairie Home Companion." Everything else is simply awful compared to the usual fare on Radio 4. BBC World Service is OK - we have streaming Internet radio which has helped. Radio 3 streams beautifully as well in HD. Possibly better than in the UK on DAB.
I've got iPlayer working to our telly, but it is news and current affairs coverage that just doesn't seem to exist here other than sensationalist programs on Fox and CNN. BBC News at 10 (or any other hour) isn't on iPlayer :-(
Local news channels seem to focus on the Bay Area and bugger all else - even Bin Laden had to be linked to a "local" angle. We stopped watching altogether when the headline was "Rainbow spotted over City" - I kid you not. Don't these people know anything about the world outside ?
Local interviews even though the state is in a state don't seem to be doing a Paxman on the politicians - more like shining their shoes with their tounges.
We'd love to know what is REALLY going on - where do you find the Panorama/Newnights/Question Time equivalents for the US ???
Our local PBS station is more like the OU on BBC2 was 25+ years ago - they even try to turn Miss Marple into an educational "show." It's all a bit earnest....
Never liked the reality/sitcom/police format on either UK or US TV - just not my cup-of-tea. Seen some reasonable Nova documentaries though.
I've got iPlayer working to our telly, but it is news and current affairs coverage that just doesn't seem to exist here other than sensationalist programs on Fox and CNN. BBC News at 10 (or any other hour) isn't on iPlayer :-(
Local news channels seem to focus on the Bay Area and bugger all else - even Bin Laden had to be linked to a "local" angle. We stopped watching altogether when the headline was "Rainbow spotted over City" - I kid you not. Don't these people know anything about the world outside ?
Local interviews even though the state is in a state don't seem to be doing a Paxman on the politicians - more like shining their shoes with their tounges.
We'd love to know what is REALLY going on - where do you find the Panorama/Newnights/Question Time equivalents for the US ???
Our local PBS station is more like the OU on BBC2 was 25+ years ago - they even try to turn Miss Marple into an educational "show." It's all a bit earnest....
Never liked the reality/sitcom/police format on either UK or US TV - just not my cup-of-tea. Seen some reasonable Nova documentaries though.
..go to meetup.com find some other activitys outside of the BBC and World radio ...look forward not back!! 
Last edited by Poppy girl; May 11th 2011 at 2:29 am.
May 11th 2011, 2:40 am
#28
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Re: Very low - what should we do ?
man have you even tried to live an American way or life
We've never planned on being here permanently - this is a brief (one or two year) posting. We're just finding it all so very different compared to other countries we've lived in (UK, France, Germany, Belgium, NL) - it's just a bit of a shock, that's all.
We want to know what makes Americans tick - maybe it just isn't for us, but at the moment, we're not really finding out.....
May 11th 2011, 2:49 am
#29
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Re: Very low - what should we do ?
You are clearly too sophisticated for 'these people'
Think I'm rapidly reaching my own conclusion here now....... It's us that don't fit into a way of life that we don't understand.
May 11th 2011, 2:50 am
#30
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Re: Very low - what should we do ?
But what is that ? SF is a wonderful city with a great attitude, great people, excellent arts and entertainment for all types and we are spending more and more time there. I was expecting the whole of the Bay Area to be more like that I suppose, and it plainly isn't.
We've never planned on being here permanently - this is a brief (one or two year) posting. We're just finding it all so very different compared to other countries we've lived in (UK, France, Germany, Belgium, NL) - it's just a bit of a shock, that's all.
We want to know what makes Americans tick - maybe it just isn't for us, but at the moment, we're not really finding out.....
We've never planned on being here permanently - this is a brief (one or two year) posting. We're just finding it all so very different compared to other countries we've lived in (UK, France, Germany, Belgium, NL) - it's just a bit of a shock, that's all.
We want to know what makes Americans tick - maybe it just isn't for us, but at the moment, we're not really finding out.....
Last edited by Englishman43; May 11th 2011 at 2:52 am.