Re: Very low - what should we do ?
 

I'm not sure that I can be of much help because I guess that it just doesn't feel like "coping" to me - I have been in California for almost 25 years and overall I like the way that things are out here.

This sounds more like a personality thing - I have friends who just naturally want to plan things in advance - I don't - if I have something planned for 6 weeks in the future I always feels that I am tied down - what if I want to do something else that week? (and I am not going to know that until a day or two before ...)

No they don't! I rarely book flights more than about 10 days in advance - in fact I just got back from a 2 week trip to Europe - I bought the tickets on May 8th and left on May 14th - a month ago I didn't have any more than the vaguest idea that I would probably make the trip sometime withing the next few months.

Re: Very low - what should we do ?
 

I agree to get a decent price you need to book ahead for international travel during summer, but thats 2 weeks of the year.

We also book main vacation time in advance, parents who are visiting us talk to us about it 3-6 months before. So that blocks out maybe another 3 weeks.

If we want to go away around National Holidays we tend to plan that 1-2 months before, that's another weekend gone.

So out of 52 weeks in the year, we maybe have 7-8 weekends where we are booked. What do you need to cram the other 44 weekends for?

Why couldn't you go to San Diego with 2 weeks notice? We've got home on a Friday night before now and said, 'no plans for the weekend, shall we go to San Diego' and got in the car and gone.

And, who exactly are you waiting to ask you around for dinner? Other than the scouts you like to spend your weekends walking around malls, who are you going to meet there? You've arranged your kids birthday party in England, again missing the chance to mix with parents who you might connect with and continuing to live in the past. Have you invited anyone over to your house? How about your kids friends, why not send their parents an email inviting them to a BBQ on Sunday. You can't just sit and wait for it all to happen for you, you have to do it yourself.

Re: Very low - what should we do ?
 

Yes - we could, apart from it's an 8 hour drive from here, so hardly local and personally, I would never dream of subjecting anyone to that kind of discomfort for such a short break. We could fly, but that is outrageously expensive for a weekend away and not what we could afford to do unless it was a "big" holiday. We've been on several 2-week holidays to San Diego in the past from the UK and enjoyed it hugely every time.

We could do that for more local (sub 2-hour) drives and are investigating those options. Also, I took advice of this group and got my son into a Saturday morning soccer group locally - that means that we can't leave for anywhere until after that and homework is done.

We want to keep the links for when we return. No long-term plans to stay here - it was never an option. Plus his birthday just happens to be in the three weeks we are back in the UK this year and most of his school friends are back in their home country/state over the summer. We are also going to hold a party as part of a Cub Pack meeting here when that starts back in August. We are also back for 4 weeks at Christmas as there are a heap of family birthdays around Christmas - some quite significant this year.

As to inviting people, yes we have sent emails and had responses saying "yes" but as Sally Redux (I think) said in one of her responses, you get to the day before, and people cancel. After a few attempts, you give up and just arrange things for yourself. This weekend, we are going to see Kung Fu Panda 2 on Sunday after swimming in the morning, soccer practice Saturday morning and then a special match at Earthquakes with KidzLoveSoccer on Saturday evening. Next weekend is a picnic and a trip to whale watching in Monterey on Sunday. We're doing stuff, but the only people we're meeting are fellow local ex-pats......

Not sure about your maths with free weekends - this year alone we have my wife's parents are visiting for 4 weeks, mine for 3, three weeks in the summer in the UK, 4 at Christmas (we have family all over the UK and some in Belgium and France that we will want to see including some very elderly relatives). Plus we like to get away most holiday weekends somewhere.... Both sets of parents are already planning NEXT years holidays with us (there was talk of 6 weeks from one lot....). That leaves 12 weekends, one of which is Labor Day, another Thanksgiving, two more already planned. I have three business trips which will take-up weekends, and two more possibles before October.

We are trying very, very hard. Our nature (maybe wrong for here) is to organise ahead, have things planned. We are both control freaks so you may wish to mark us a C-. We'll try harder - promise.

Re: Very low - what should we do ?
 

For "local (sub 2-hour) drives" you don't "investigate the options" you just get in the car, drive to wherever it is and see if you like it ...

Re: Very low - what should we do ?
 

I'm not really sure what you are looking for. You started your first post saying there was nothing to do here, and your last post indicates you don't have time to do anything.

You say work is crap but are managing 7 weeks vacation in England, not to mention your time in Vegas and whatever else you have planned. My job isn't great, but i'd shovel shit if they told me I could have 7 weeks off a year and afford to fly back home twice a year.

You aren't trying very hard, you are complaining that people aren't falling at your feet to invite you to some party or other while you plan your leisure time to the nth degree.

Sorry, but you don't seem to know when you have it good.

Re: Very low - what should we do ?
 

Ah.

Re: Very low - what should we do ?
 

I think you've just said it - you are both control freaks!

I like to be able to say on a Thursday night or Friday morning let's go away for the weekend, or even a saturday morning - I like to do things last minute, not everything is or can be planned in advance. I hate being tied to too may pre-planned events unless it's family. I have always been like that , probably my upbringing in the army.

I made a comment in the car the other day about travelling distances and my partner said distance isn't a problem when in the USA, they think of nothing travelling miles for a night out or weekend away. It's what we are used to here in the UK and as some people has previously said we need to change to fit in, it's their country why should they change? It's we as immigrants that need to change and fit in, not the other way round. The US obviously has something to offer otherwise why move there to start with? It has to be more than the 360 odd days of sunshine....lol

Re: Very low - what should we do ?
 

dlake02 : I see exactly what you are saying and found it very confusing when I first got here.
It's so "whatever' here that you have to adopt the same attitude to a degree. I take any invite with a pinch of salt and continue making my own plans then if the invite actually comes to fruition I'll decide then whether or not to attend . Pretty sure I've given all us Brits a reputation of being complete flakes but , Hey whatever - right ? ;)

Re: Very low - what should we do ?
 

Having lived in a number of states, I agree with today's repliers. We seem to get invited to cookouts, etc. and people come to ours, often at short notice, wherever we have lived. But that's the way it is. The ones that are thrown together at the last minute are often the best. I got an email today for 1 this weekend. I am very surprised that the OP has not been invited and welcomed to such get togethers. In our area, folks go out of their way to invite newcomers to their parties, and I am sure it isn't all that different in California. It seems that the OP came here with preconceived ideas that didn't pan out, which may have caused attitude and personality conflicts with those who interact with him. However, if they are shutting him out, that is wrong.

Re: Very low - what should we do ?
 

That reminds me of something I read a while back. A 100 years is a long time ago in the U.S. and a 100 miles is a long way to drive in the U.K. Whenever I got back home, I'm always surprised how short the drives are that I used to think were a long way. London to Oxford seems nothing now.

Re: Very low - what should we do ?
 

Emits the same amount of CO2 in both countries though so should be avoided if at all possible in both.....

Re: Very low - what should we do ?
 

I think you don't realize how argumentative and offputting some of your comments are.
You miss the point that was being made altogether and go off topic with a reply that once again points out why you can't have a good time here, because you'd be killing the CO2 now.

There are some very good suggestions in this thread for you to take a look at.

Re: Very low - what should we do ?
 

Here you don't get driving direction in miles, they tell you how long it takes to get where you are going. Almost 2hrs each way is a day out shopping at the outlet mall. 45 minutes is Walmart or the doctors office.
35 minutes is the high school, or the local hospital. You get used to it and now it doesn't bother me a bit. Gas prices make me cringe, but thats life it costs money.

Re: Very low - what should we do ?
 

I call them "challenging." No - I've taken suggestions up, and I fully agree that some of them have worked (or at least are starting to work).

You read too much into my replies. I hate driving. It is a chore and there are alternatives. Plus it is bad for the environment. So, for the suggestions that have been made, we factor that in as I'm sure most people do these days.

We can walk to our local Safeways/Starbucks/Jamba Juice/School/Swimming Pool. Walking to school in the UK was required - no cars allowed anywhere near as the school had adopted a strong Green policy. It's great that we can continue that here.

Our last three trips to the California Academy of Sciences in SF were by train which is very cheap here. We saw so much more than you would sitting on 101.

We are spreading our wings, and this forum has been very helpful in challenging some of my preconceptions (which I KNOW I have) and not letting them spoil an opportunity.

Re: Very low - what should we do ?
 

You don't do 'indirect', do you. :lol:

I am *telling* you, your method of replying to people may be the reason no one wants to hang with you. I'm American, from San Francisco, so take that as you will.

And please, can't preach to me about all the rest of that; I live in the People's Republic of Portland! :lol:
(we're not even allowed to look at cars)