paranoidandroid

I'm looking towards sometime next year, I'm not 100% sure yet though.

Cardienscarf

Hope it goes the way you want. I just arrived back in the UK yesterday after 22 years in the US. Sometimes I liked it there, sometimes I didn't. The older I got, the more homesick I seemed to be. Going back to the States after a holiday visiting friends and family got harder and harder. I started to miss my siblings and wanted to spend more time with them. Like many others, I have one child in each country which makes me wish I'd brought them back here before they were old enough to make those decisions for themselves.

paranoidandroid

Cheers, it'll work out eventually, just maybe not quite as soon as I'd like.
I know what you mean about coming back, every time it seems less and less appealing.
Congratulations on being home.

Sally Redux

Congrats Cardie.

goldenstate31

I think you get to a point where people and family are the only things that matter! Everything else is superficial

goldenstate31

Thats what the americans say to me when they ask if im here on 'vacation' when I say 'no I live here' they respond with 'oh congratulations'

Sally Redux

I don't think I've heard that

goldenstate31

Yeah my husband is bemused when they say it

Sally Redux

Ooh just belatedly noticed, Happy Birthday!

paranoidandroid

Thankfully they don't say that to me, maybe because I usually say "unfortunately not" when they ask if I'm on vacation.

NiHao

Clare31,

I think it would be a mistake to move back to the UK just because you feel guilty about being far from your parents. As others have suggested I would focus on how to minimize those feelings by creating more time together, use skype, phonecalls, FB, photos, video, etc. and set up a budget for visiting at least once every year, more if possible (even if you go without your husband sometimes if he can't get the vacation time).

We all have to accept that we can not have it all. Either you live in the US which you love but have to deal with some guilt regarding your parents OR you live in the UK without that guilt but not a life style that you enjoy.

If you uproot yourself and family just to live near your parents you are going to end up resentful and regretting it. Your parents won't be here forever and if you move back to the UK you may not have the opportunity to move back to the US when they are gone.

If you missed the UK that would be different but from what you say you don't miss it at all and you really enjoy living in the US.

With some effort you can do a lot of things to be very present in your parents life despite the distance. I'm sure that even though they'd love to have you live close they also get a lot of pleasure from knowing that you love the life you are building in the US and that things are going so well. They wouldn't want the guilt of you coming back only because of them.

On a more general note you had asked why some people don't return to the UK if they want to. There are lots of reasons, some have already been given such as being married to an American who doesn't want to be uprooted. Another is that the price of property in the UK increases at a much faster rate than in most parts of the US so once you've been off the UK property ladder for a few years it can be impossible to get back on. Once children are involved (and the older they are) it can be hard because America is their home not the UK. Employment is another huge issue, many people can not gamble on moving without securing employment beforehand and its not always easy.

tnguy

Have to say, been here in the US for 12 years now. It's a fact that there's some things I miss about England but every time I go back for a visit, it's not long before I know that I'm not going to be choosing to move back.

Probably the ideal thing would be to be able to pick up the occasional six month contract over there that would give me time to really catch up on some of the goodness I miss before I get sick of all the rubbish that's going on. That or the countrymen I left behind need to kick out everyone on both (all three?) sides of the aisle and get some proper public servants in the commons.

Xebedee

It is so easy to confuse the locals isn't it?
When a checkout clerk asks if there is anything else I want? / Can I get you anything else?
Try the reply "yes, I think I'd like to pay for these....."

Redwing

I realise that I am late on the scene, but whenever I read posts like this, I usually recommend that people read Sugarmooma's blog.

paranoidandroid

Very easy to confuse them around here.
What I should try saying is" If I was going to go on vacation somewhere, don't you think I'd probably have picked somewhere a little more glamorous than this?"
A lot of them would probably agree.