Valhalla

Hi all,
I am a "trailing wife" delightful term! arrived in Cary NC nearly 6 weeks ago, first thing we did was drag ourselves to urgent care with raging strep throat as they call it here. Things are hard, my daughter isn't finding making friends at school very easy and is for the most part ignored. And me? Well I have not spoken to another human (other than family) in conversation for fun in ohhhhh 3 weeks.

Just getting a car and driving licence and social security sorted has been like a climb up Everest. We will get there I know. I am feeling blue after being fairly social in the UK with a voluntary job in the Mental Health sector to being fairly housebound. Nobody walks here? Everything is done in the car and so there seems no opportunity to meet people. And why oh why do they shut the schools when it's a bit cold? Haha. I have given up with the bread here and make my own, I know what is it in and it tastes great.

Anybody else in the Cary and surrounding areas?

Sally Redux

Hi again.

I'm not in your area but it can all be a huge shock, especially the car culture.

How old is your daughter?

Valhalla

My daughter is 13, I have another daughter in the UK still doing her exams and I really hope she will join us for Uni here.

Sally Redux

Hard age to move - they seem to have these very defined cliques in school. Is she sporty? That seems to help (my son wasn't, but eventually found his way).

MarylandNed

It can be tough. Hang in there.

It looks like your daughter is the new kid in school part way through the school year so she's trying to break into an already established situation. That's more difficult than starting school at the beginning of the school year.

School closures are more often about snow and ice rather than just cold temperatures (unless the school heating is also out). Sometimes the schools will delay opening to alleviate rush hour traffic in bad weather. Other times they will close completely e.g. if road conditions are too hazardous or they haven't had time to clear snow from the parking lots.

As for walking, it depends on where you are. In high density areas (e.g. inner cities) where there are a lot of amenities/attractions, you'll see plenty of people walking. If you're part of the typical American urban sprawl, you'll see fewer people walking and more people in their cars e.g. as they travel from mall to mall.

You'll have to face the fact that you're going to have to make an effort to get out and meet people. You could get involved with the school Parent Teacher Association (PTA). You could sign up for something like classes, activities, etc somewhere. Getting your daughter involved in some extracurricular activity (e.g. a sport) is another way to meet other parents and an opportunity for your daughter to make friends.

Good luck!

MarylandNed

If she doesn't meet the requirements for "in state" tuition, university in the US can be very expensive.

Sally Redux

and has she applied for US colleges?

Hotscot

Missus H makes bread fresh every week. The no knead method.

We haven't bought a loaf in 6 years.

Sorry about your blues. I know when I came I intended it to be a quick six months for some job experience but that was 15 years ago and counting.

Valhalla

No she's going her GCSE's at the moment, she lives with her Dad in the UK. Who knows what the future holds for her as she will probably not want to leave her UK friends and whatever boyfriend is in flavour at the time .

My youngest rides horses a lot and competes so we have already got her set up with a stables in Raleigh where she is joining a competing team. Some other sports are problematic due to physical limitations we both have with a genetic disorder.

I think going from a small private UK school into a large public school was a shock too. I do hope the kids there start accepting her.

Valhalla

Yep breadmaker with timer equals nummy bread every morning

Sally Redux

The riding will be a good start. Give it time

Valhalla

I'm confused also as I have an L2 visa and social security number. The SS office said I could work but our lawyers say no need a work visa.

Pulaski

I was in Cary yesterday, visited the Barnes & Noble with little Miss P. Cary seems like a nice area.

Sally Redux

I think you just need authorization.

Pulaski

You need an EAD. (Employment Authorization Document).