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Urgent question about wife who bailed out

Urgent question about wife who bailed out

Old Sep 20th 2016, 3:06 pm
  #91  
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Default Re: Urgent question about wife who bailed out

Once again, sorry you and your children and her family are going through this but glad that she returned and that everyone now sees for themselves that everything that she has done is true.

Don't understand how you are to help her, unless it is to give her money to return to Houston even though the ex-con appears to want to distance himself from her.

Glad your safeguards in place and will continue to for you and the kiddies. At one point she is going to want to see them. Another opportunity to show your strength of conviction and love for your children. Stay strong.
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Old Sep 20th 2016, 3:16 pm
  #92  
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Default Re: Urgent question about wife who bailed out

Thats why I think she has a mental illness. She never has shown much in the way of empathy, and now she shows zero remorse and twists it around like all her problems are someone elses fault. She has some weird notion she has done little wrong and just had a much needed holiday and expected to slither back in like nothing happened.

She committed adultery, she looks ill - like she has lived in a cave for three weeks (not sunny Texas), the letters, the wish to take the kids over there. She confirmed all what we thought is indeed true including sleeping with him etc.

And despite the sudden "I'm sorry......." she is still speaking with him on whatsapp!!!

Whether she's hoping I'll be easier going on her and she can stay here instead of her own family, while planning to return to Texas!

I just shake my head in disbelief.
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Old Sep 20th 2016, 4:13 pm
  #93  
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Default Re: Urgent question about wife who bailed out

Originally Posted by lansbury
I have just seen this post and the misinformation posted in it. Getting a prohibited steps order is one of the biggest mistakes solicitors make. It is a civil order and contains no powers on which police can act. Indeed I have watched children taken from the country where a solicitor has made such a mistake. The ONLY 2 things that will give a police officer at a port power to act is a criminal allegation of Sec 1 Child Abduction, or an order from The High Court. A High Court judge will normally back their order with a power of arrest, or if they forget the Tipstaff will have that power added very quickly.

Maintaining the nation child abduction warning list was part of my job for a good few years. While is isn't foolproof the writer of that advice clearly has no knowledge of how it is used or circulated, something which isn't publicly disclosed to make it hard to circumvent. There are strict criteria to having a child put on the list, which makes it current, accurate and hence useful.
That's quite concerning especially that the person that wrote the article is a Barrister who I tend to respect more than a solicitor.

Do you think the prohibited steps order in combination with the restraining orders would be effective?
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Old Sep 20th 2016, 5:08 pm
  #94  
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Default Re: Urgent question about wife who bailed out

Originally Posted by maritimesbob
I suggested to her family she needs professional help and not to be shut away. But my focus is myself and the kids, not what is going on up there.

No, in my eyes what has happened is unforgivable. I can't trust her after all this.
I think your focus is correct. You and the kids must come first. Yes she probably does need professional help, let her family concentrate on that.
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Old Sep 20th 2016, 8:27 pm
  #95  
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Default Re: Urgent question about wife who bailed out

It's like a letter from Dear Deadrie!

Originally Posted by maritimesbob
Thats why I think she has a mental illness. She never has shown much in the way of empathy, and now she shows zero remorse and twists it around like all her problems are someone elses fault. She has some weird notion she has done little wrong and just had a much needed holiday and expected to slither back in like nothing happened.

She committed adultery, she looks ill - like she has lived in a cave for three weeks (not sunny Texas), the letters, the wish to take the kids over there. She confirmed all what we thought is indeed true including sleeping with him etc.

And despite the sudden "I'm sorry......." she is still speaking with him on whatsapp!!!

Whether she's hoping I'll be easier going on her and she can stay here instead of her own family, while planning to return to Texas!

I just shake my head in disbelief.
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Old Sep 20th 2016, 8:36 pm
  #96  
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Default Re: Urgent question about wife who bailed out

She won't be going back. This man has had his five minutes of fun with her. He doesn't want a woman with kids and baggage. He's just got out of prison. He wants nights on the town with the lads, casual sex (and lots of it), boys toys, a truck, a life of wine, women and song. He doesn't want to be daddy to someone else's kids, have to take them to school and medical appointments, have to get rid of his truck for a family estate car, having to be clean and sober and come straight him from work to responsibilities and domestic chores while his mates are out on the lash. She was good while it lasted. No doubt she then started talking about bringing the children over and that's when it was "game over" for him.

Meanwhile she's still clinging onto the fantasy that her American bad boy lover still wants her because she can't face the fact that she made a mistake (hence everything is always someone else's fault). He's already moved on. It's time she did too.

Meanwhile you are doing a fantastic job of holding it together for your children and I take my hat off to you.
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Old Sep 20th 2016, 9:29 pm
  #97  
 
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Default Re: Urgent question about wife who bailed out

Originally Posted by mrken30
That's quite concerning especially that the person that wrote the article is a Barrister who I tend to respect more than a solicitor.

Do you think the prohibited steps order in combination with the restraining orders would be effective?
If someone wants to go stand at a port, assuming they know which one, and enforce the Prohibitive Steps Order, it could be effective. Otherwise to a police officer trying to prevent a child leaving the jurisdiction of the English courts it is no use at all.

Only a person with parental responsibility, by law, needs to give consent for the child to leave the UK. A prohibitive steps order does not establish if that has or has not been done. Breaching a prohibitive steps order is a civil matter not a criminal one.

A person should attend a police station and make an allegation of Child Abduction. A police officer will then determine if the complainant has parental responsibility, and if there is a real and imminent danger of the child being removed from the UK. It is quicker than seeing a solicitor and is free, which is a lot cheaper than a solicitor. If you want the gold plated cost no object approach go the High Court route. But that was usually a case before the High Court anyway.

This all only refers to England and Wales of course.
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Old Sep 20th 2016, 11:18 pm
  #98  
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Default Re: Urgent question about wife who bailed out

Well the shit hit the fan tonight.

My wife called the police while she was staying with her mother up north. Accusing her of holding her against her will and preventing her from seeing her children.

The police agreed with my wife, collected the children and my wife and took them to a friend of my wife with whom the police will not disclose the location.

She is not in fit state of mind and clearly is unwell. I have an appointment with the local police again here at 10am. It appears my wife in her madness is determined to get documents to take herself and the children to Texas.

Right now no one is sure where she or my children are. I called the local social services here who said those police officers made the wrong call.

It's very distressing. But the police officer who is working with me down here in the southwest called and told me it's best I stay with a friend for a few days in case my wife returns as she could try to incriminate or wind me up. She is already making various accusations of bullying and other crazy things about her family.

She is totally and utterly focused on this ex-con and nothing will stop her.

I have the childrens passports, their birth certificates. I will not be divorcing her as I feel that will only help her in her quest.

I feel being suggested to leave the home, I am being punished for being a good dad but I can understand the logic.

Mean while my job will likely go down the pan and my children are out of school.

What a mess.
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Old Sep 21st 2016, 12:03 am
  #99  
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Default Re: Urgent question about wife who bailed out

Originally Posted by maritimesbob
Well the shit hit the fan tonight.

My wife called the police while she was staying with her mother up north. Accusing her of holding her against her will and preventing her from seeing her children.

The police agreed with my wife, collected the children and my wife and took them to a friend of my wife with whom the police will not disclose the location.

She is not in fit state of mind and clearly is unwell. I have an appointment with the local police again here at 10am. It appears my wife in her madness is determined to get documents to take herself and the children to Texas.

Right now no one is sure where she or my children are. I called the local social services here who said those police officers made the wrong call.

It's very distressing. But the police officer who is working with me down here in the southwest called and told me it's best I stay with a friend for a few days in case my wife returns as she could try to incriminate or wind me up. She is already making various accusations of bullying and other crazy things about her family.

She is totally and utterly focused on this ex-con and nothing will stop her.

I have the childrens passports, their birth certificates. I will not be divorcing her as I feel that will only help her in her quest.

I feel being suggested to leave the home, I am being punished for being a good dad but I can understand the logic.

Mean while my job will likely go down the pan and my children are out of school.

What a mess.
Where were the children if the police could just barge in and take them? That doesn't sound right. I thought your wife was not in same town as you and the children?
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Old Sep 21st 2016, 12:08 am
  #100  
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Default Re: Urgent question about wife who bailed out

You were not home when she came and got the kids?

Rene
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Old Sep 21st 2016, 2:40 am
  #101  
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Default Re: Urgent question about wife who bailed out

Originally Posted by maritimesbob
My wife called the police while she was staying with her mother up north. Accusing her of holding her against her will and preventing her from seeing her children.

The police agreed with my wife, collected the children and my wife and took them to a friend of my wife with whom the police will not disclose the location.
How is that possible without Social Services/Courts being involved? Considering all the discussions/paperwork you have with everyone you've spoken to over the past few weeks, how did they end up agreeing with your wife? Makes no sense to me at all. And presumably if you don't know where they are, now you're being prevented from seeing your distressed, confused children? That's all sorts of ****ed up!
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Old Sep 21st 2016, 5:51 am
  #102  
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Default Re: Urgent question about wife who bailed out

The children were staying with one set of grandparents a few miles from the other grandparents where my wife was bunking out. I had to return home alone to sort out work and school without the children and other mess at the house and then I was going back to collect children.

Her family hoped her staying with one set of parents they could get some answers, help her etc. It obviously failed big time.

Never in my mind did I think my wife was capable of pulling this off and manipulate and lie yet again to the local police.

So the local police collected my wife, the police then drove over to where the children were staying and took them all off to a safe location.

The local social services where I live were horrified and said those police officers made a made a bad call and obviously the social services in the area also should have assessed this properly and failed.

The police officer also told my father inlaw we cannot stop my wife taking them out of the country. Then made a threat to arrest him.

It seems like a mother has so many more rights, whether she is in a terrible mental condition, a drunk, junkie, she seems well protected and can manipulate the law.

In the mean time the officer down here looking into this called me to come to the police station at 10am, advised me to be out of the house if/when she returns. He believes she will likely try to antagonise me and have me arrested.

I'm just so shocked I married such a lunatic. I have found lies and deceipt trailing back years, not just relating to this prisoner.

Last edited by maritimesbob; Sep 21st 2016 at 5:54 am.
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Old Sep 21st 2016, 6:20 am
  #103  
 
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Default Re: Urgent question about wife who bailed out

Originally Posted by maritimesbob

The police officer also told my father inlaw we cannot stop my wife taking them out of the country. Then made a threat to arrest him.
A grand parent cannot stop the children leaving the country, unless they have parental responsibility. Nothing you have said suggests that is the case.

The fact your father in law was threatened with arrest suggests the situation got rather heated and I wonder if what the officer actually said has been reported to you properly.
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Old Sep 21st 2016, 9:17 am
  #104  
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Default Re: Urgent question about wife who bailed out

Ok guys.

As you know I am in NZ so late here.

I am temp closing this thread for now as it has morphed to way beyond the original query & I am not comfortable with some aspects.

I know it reads draconian however I will review in the morning. In any case, this is a UK based topic . not the USA.
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