Orangepants

I don't think he said she has a visa, probably used VWP so would have 90 days from entry until she overstays.

maritimesbob

Indeed, if what she told me was the truth, the immigration officer placed a three week stamp in her passport which corresponds with her latest departure date! But then again that could be all bull!

She spoke to them the other night, all be it briefly and all done in a very odd manor because he's around as she claims. It seems the ex-con in question is constantly around her. When she spoke to my children, he suddenly appeared on the phone and tried to speak to them. I grabbed the phone and hung up. She has left them weird voicemail messages because she cannot it seems, call my phone to speak to them as he is around!

I've put a stop to these calls and not communicated with her anymore as it not only messes my head up but confuses those poor children.

All the letters I have read indicate they had planned for her to return to the UK, and then head back to the US for Thanksgiving. It seems it was always planned for her to have a three week stay. She told me, the children and her own family she was gone just for a week.

Totally left me in the crap for childcare, work, school and everything else.

From what I know, he was manufacturing crystal meth, was involved in burglary and gangs too. In a moment of anger when this first kicked off, I want to screw them both over and emailed the parole board in Texas. Today they got back to me and took a great deal of interest, asking for details, copies of these letters where to planned to have my children etc.

I've since cooled off a little and now focusing on myself and the kids, our futures, what to do she does return etc. Less focused on having her deported, him back in prison etc!!

Two days ago, I also had a response from the US embassy in London "fraud prevention unit" who had a great deal of interest in my wife's intention to remain in the US. I have not responded as I'd rather focus on what is happening here. Again, that was in a moment of anger when it all first was exposed.

Some of the letters show she intends to return here, then apply to emigrate to the US to live as a family. I did have a chuckle, if she overstays, not a good start. A future husband who is out on parole, taking my children without permission, no money. Not a good outlook for any potention visa to US!!!

I'm actually a lot more relaxed than I was two weeks ago. I would have done anything for her to be deported, to suffer, him to go back to prison. However I have cooled off considerably, made potential long term plans, protected my children through a port alert, taken their passports. I now feel I am in the driving seat and far far better off than her! I get the last laugh.

His family paid for her flight out and return ticket (or so I was told!!!). Then again, I have no idea what to believe any more.

We're going away this weekend to see family. Have a chat, discuss, make plans and give me a day or two free of the kids to relax while grandparents step in.

I am really tempted to make a clean break for us all. Move closer to family. Finding work is not an issue, family will be around for support etc. Just need to think it through and not be rash.

She's always been a fantastic mother to them, really has. But in the last few months her patience has slowly worn away, she was getting a little more snappy with them. Nothing that showed her future intentions of course.

Orangepants

Considering what you are going through, you are dealing with it very well.

As for the stamp, on VWP they don't stamp you in for a set period of time, they do for visas. The PP is stamped with the day of entry and underneath the words "WB/WT for 90 days. Section 217 of the INA". The officer will circle the WT for tourism. She can change her ticket as many times as she wants but should be out before the 90 days are up. I have what seems like hundreds of these stamps in my PP.

Glad to hear she was a good mother. I'd leave the FPU alone, as it appears she isn't planning on staying out there right now. Where does she think she's going to live when she comes back to UK until her crazy plans come to fruition?

maritimesbob

I have no idea. I and her family seem to think she will come back, create some bulls**t story, blame someone else and hope everything can go back to normal. It was all a mistake, sorry bla bla bla. That sort of thing!

I don't think she is aware of what has been uncovered here with regards to the letters. She has no idea of what is going on here, and I think she seems to think this whole thing has been a "much needed vacation" and we'll believe it all!!

Those letters say otherwise!

She's not right in the head. Personally I think she has mental issues, creates fantasy lives, has probably lied to this ex-con and misled him too.

What she does upon her return I have no idea. She's in for a shock though!!

Yeah I've not responded to the FPU phone call and email. I'll hold back on that one.

mrken30

I'm not sure if she is able to go to Mexico and get a new stamp or does that only happen in the movies?

BritInParis

You can do it but you'll need to go further afield. Mexico and Canada are exempt for that very reason.

Pulaski

Leaving to Canada, Mexico, or any island in the Caribbean and returning, is not effective for resetting the VWP clock.
As is the Caribbean. An former colleague working in visiting DC, took what he thought was a "visa hop" to the Cayman islands after 12 weeks in DC. He arrived back in DC to be told that he "hadn't left the US".

MMcD

orangepants was right....I confused the (supposed) 21 days passport entry stamp with having a Visa.

But is she or isn't she (ahem) 'visiting' on Sunday before permanently absconding with the kids?

My concern being...her coming back while you and your children are away, visiting your parents. Can't recall if you've at least changed the house locks? I do remember your saying she doesn't drive and that the nearest airport is hours away. Maybe she's expecting her husband to pick her up at the airport

Anyway....not to focus on her....or to do so strictly in terms of lessening the distress caused by her behaviour to you and the children....which is the reason I raised the issue of her phone calls (keep those voice mails!) in my last post and the issue of her re-appearance on the 18th.......

maritimesbob

Correct, she doesn't drive. She also left her house key here in case a friend up the road who occasionally babysits needs to get in.

I've declared her as a sideshow to the events, me and the kids are priority.

The letters indicate she is returning to UK, then intending to return to US on thanksgiving with the children!! That of course is letters from him to her. She could be misleading him for all I know. Her method of contact with him was through j-pay, which is an electronic mail service for prisoners in the US. She could be conning and misleading everyone, who knows!

I used to sit and watch TV while she was sat on her laptop writing to him, smiling away like being in another world. Now I know why she was smiling, grrrrrrrr!!!! Scheming behind my back, or rather right in front of me!

I feel like I have been part of an epic swindle!

BEVS

Sounds like a load of bad news all round for these children.

So. What actions have you so far taken .

Make a list and tick them off.

1 - Change locks
2 - Remove important documents from the property and place securely elsewhere.
3 - Contact social services or whichever agency needs contacting re child payments and protection
4 - See solicitor.
5 - Monitor and record all contact


anything else?

petitefrancaise

Change locks, take documents to a friend/relative for safe-keeping.
Inform school of issue.
LAWYER!! Before doing anything else because you don't know if you will be jeopardising your case with whatever you plan to do. At the moment she is on holiday, no more. Apart from being a bit of a nutjob as far as I can work out she hasn't actually done anything wrong yet.

I'd probably get a new bank account in my name only and have salary paid into that. If there is an overdraft allowance on joint account then get it stopped. I might get the credit cards stopped too.

Twinkle0927

I wouldn't focus too much on the Texas board of parole and getting him sent back to prison - he will take care of that himself if he is as stupid as he sounds from what we have read so far. He was stupid to go to prison in Texas in the first place. My husband has been in prison (many years ago) and even he says "I may have been stupid but I was never that stupid to commit my crime in Texas."

She can't stay. She could if she were married to him but she's married to you so that can't happen. She can stay 90 days so thus far she may have done a lot of immoral things, she may have done a lot of cruel things (especially to your children) but she's done nothing illegal from an immigration perspective (unless she is working illegally somewhere?).

You are definitely doing the right thing in not letting him to speak to the children. Had she told them she planned to take them with her?

joto

I wouldn't leave any documents with a friend or relative. I would get a strong box at your bank. It would be neutral, whereas a friend or relative might not be. Make an appointment with a family law lawyer if you haven't already done so. I know it maybe hard, but try to limit the time the children speak with their mother, maybe 5 minutes, then take them out for ice cream or something nice, so it becomes something for them to look forward to after speaking with her. Just don't tell them until after they have spoken to her, otherwise they may inadvertently spill the beans that they are having a good time without her.

maritimesbob

I'm not focused on her or loverboy at all now. Totally focused on myself and the kids and providing the best possible futures. Long term, we're all better off without her if this is how she wants her life to be.

I have taken multiple photocopies of documents, evidence, letters, passport information and have them kept at various neautral places. I also have zipped up copies of this files stored in a few places.

I am getting myself into a very strong position, getting myself well prepared for what is to come.

The only thing she told the children was that she was going for a week to meet her "best friend", would miss them and all that bull. She lied to them, myself and her family about her real intentions.

Shirtback

Yeah, this.

And to the OP, I'd add you should already have researched/applied for an emergency custody order (that's not the official legal term anymore, but your solicitor will know what I mean) for the children.

Otherwise, there are a few 'red flags' Glaring at me in this story...