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Urgent question about wife who bailed out

Urgent question about wife who bailed out

Old Sep 9th 2016, 9:41 pm
  #1  
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Default Urgent question about wife who bailed out

I have an awkward situation, not sure where else to ask but it's one heck of a story.

My wife has been writing to a prisoner in Texas for the last years, unknown to she has lied and decieved me and my children. Two weeks ago she flew out to Texas to meet this prisoner who was released on parole.

I have since discovered letters from him saying this will live together, take my children over there and have a new life. I have letters from this prisoner to my daughters claiming he is their daddy, their real daddy and soon they will be together.

My wife entered the US on her UK passport, obviously lied on entry. Has changed her return date from September 4th to September 18th, and is now saying she has no intention to return.

She has left me with the children, screwed up my job as I cannot work and be a childminder and will likely lose our house, and everything that goes with it.

She has breached the immigration rules there, intent to stay is an offence in the States surely?

All the other stuff is immoral and possibly an offence?

How can I proceed so that she is forced to return, deported, or whatever? She needs to face her responsibilies and not live a fantasy life with a former criminal and live in the US illegally.

Hope someone can advise as I am pulling my hair out!

Thanks.
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Old Sep 9th 2016, 9:50 pm
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Default Re: Urgent question about wife who bailed out

'How can I proceed so that she is forced to return, deported, or whatever?'

Just to be clear...is this your urgent question? I don't think anyone here can possibly answer that or get directly involved in a marital dispute.
Perhaps you should see a lawyer.

Do you have anyone to support you?

Last edited by Hotscot; Sep 9th 2016 at 9:55 pm.
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Old Sep 9th 2016, 9:52 pm
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Default Re: Urgent question about wife who bailed out

There is little or no chance of you "ratting her out" and forcing her to be deported, and I am not at all sure, objectively speaking, you want that anyway, as she will be bitter and angry, file for divorce, and try to take your children.

What you do have on your side is that she cannot remove your children from the UK without your permission, but she could try to get a court order. I would suggest you contact a solicitor experienced in family law immediately and dig in for the coming battle - documenting what she has done, and have everything prepared for court - that she abandoned her family, entered the US apparently illegally, and is shacked up with an ex-con.

Meanwhile, don't despair of your circumstances - contact social services and get some advice on held with childcare - there are plenty of good resources that help many single parents hold down a job and still look after their children.
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Old Sep 9th 2016, 10:00 pm
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Default Re: Urgent question about wife who bailed out

Thank you all, just frustrating she can hide away in the States with intention to remain while I'm left in the mess.

Looks like fun times ahead!
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Old Sep 9th 2016, 10:30 pm
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Default Re: Urgent question about wife who bailed out

Originally Posted by maritimesbob View Post
I have an awkward situation, not sure where else to ask but it's one heck of a story.

My wife has been writing to a prisoner in Texas for the last years, unknown to she has lied and decieved me and my children. Two weeks ago she flew out to Texas to meet this prisoner who was released on parole.

I have since discovered letters from him saying this will live together, take my children over there and have a new life. I have letters from this prisoner to my daughters claiming he is their daddy, their real daddy and soon they will be together.

My wife entered the US on her UK passport, obviously lied on entry. Has changed her return date from September 4th to September 18th, and is now saying she has no intention to return.

She has left me with the children, screwed up my job as I cannot work and be a childminder and will likely lose our house, and everything that goes with it.

.
I honestly don't intend to sound flippant, but it is the kind of story that the UK newspapers love to run with -- which may result in offers of assistance for you. Good luck.
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Old Sep 9th 2016, 11:31 pm
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Default Re: Urgent question about wife who bailed out

Contrary to concentrating on trying to get your wife reported to the authorities and/or deported (which you won't be successful at anyway), you should be focusing on keeping your job and getting child care for the children. Keeping your job also means keeping your house.

From earlier posts you have an 8 year old and a 5 year old?

Ignore the letters. She can't remove the children; and she can't dictate what happens from the US. Actually, unless she left with all your savings, she's going to find herself in a pretty dire situation shortly, and you'll be the one dictating terms.

Haven't you got parents who could step in to pick up the children from school, can you work flexible hours? Plenty of single dads out there who manage to cope.
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Old Sep 9th 2016, 11:42 pm
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Default Re: Urgent question about wife who bailed out

Originally Posted by maritimesbob View Post
Two weeks ago she flew out to Texas to meet this prisoner who was released on parole.
If you're looking for some sort of revenge and if you know his name, you should be able to find out and contact his parole officer. The guy is not allowed to engage in illegal activities while on parole - and, while this may do nothing, it could alert the parole officer to possible future activities. Then again, he was in prison - so perhaps your wife will get what you feel is coming to her anyway!

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Old Sep 9th 2016, 11:45 pm
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Default Re: Urgent question about wife who bailed out

Why did she obviously lie on entry, sounds like she entered as a visitor.

And now wants to stay illegally.

But if this is the case why change at cost no doubt her return ticket?
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Old Sep 9th 2016, 11:47 pm
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Default Re: Urgent question about wife who bailed out

Maybe contact your bank and cancel credit cards, or at least tell them to block overseas transactions.

There is an anonymous tip line but realistically unless a felony is involved little is likely to happen.

https://www.ice.gov/tipline
https://www.ice.gov/webform/hsi-tip-form

Last edited by sir_eccles; Sep 9th 2016 at 11:50 pm.
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Old Sep 10th 2016, 2:58 am
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Default Re: Urgent question about wife who bailed out

Originally Posted by maritimesbob View Post
Thank you all, just frustrating she can hide away in the States with intention to remain while I'm left in the mess.

Looks like fun times ahead!
I'm sorry for your troubles. I fully understand you are upset, but I have to ask: "What mess?" It appears that the mess has left you.

You have a home, children and employment. As Pulaski stated, get help with childcare immediately from government resources if you don't have family or friends that can help. Go to work each and every day so that you can maintain your standard of living.

File, if possible, immediately for abandonment and get legal assistance in ensuring that your children cannot be spirited away from the UK if she returns to do just that.

As for contacting US authorities, your wife is not in an overstay situation and there is nothing for you to report. She is free to stay within the US for 90 days from her date of arrival legally. She becomes illegal on day 91 but the authorities don't care and won't do anything. They have bigger fish to fry.

If all you say is truth, then protect your children and yourself from a delusional partner.
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Old Sep 10th 2016, 8:17 am
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Default Re: Urgent question about wife who bailed out

Thank you all, I do need to step back and calm down, think rationally. I'm just very angry, but remaining angry is only adding to my stress and not helping myself or the kids.

She'll be worse off than, I have to remember that. Her fantasy life out there will no doubt crash to reality eventually. I can't imagine it will be long before he snaps at her or something. I already heard his family bizarrely started beating on him one night breaking his nose.

I was tempted to contact Texas parole board as I have all his details, but I think I'll take a step back and focus on the priorities.

She's out there spending the child tax credits and family allowance, that would have been nice to help pay for childcare costs.

Thing is, she told everyone she was going for a week. It does now appear her intention was to always go for three weeks. She also told people here she could change her ticket without a problem (and I am assuming at no cost).

She texted me when she arrived at Newark airport to say, her passport was stamped to give her a three week stay.

Anyway, yes calm down and think positively I think.

Last edited by maritimesbob; Sep 10th 2016 at 8:21 am.
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Old Sep 10th 2016, 12:24 pm
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Default Re: Urgent question about wife who bailed out

Originally Posted by maritimesbob View Post
Thing is, she told everyone she was going for a week. It does now appear her intention was to always go for three weeks. She also told people here she could change her ticket without a problem (and I am assuming at no cost).

She texted me when she arrived at Newark airport to say, her passport was stamped to give her a three week stay.

Anyway, yes calm down and think positively I think.
Tickets that you can change for free are only the most expensive kind (usually double or more the regular discounted fares). Relatively very few people buy these fares.

If entering under the VWP, passports are stamped for 90 days as standard.
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Old Sep 10th 2016, 12:53 pm
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Default Re: Urgent question about wife who bailed out

Originally Posted by maritimesbob View Post
Her fantasy life out there will no doubt crash to reality eventually.
Is your wife bipolar? I ask because...


She texted me when she arrived at Newark airport...
... this is a very bipolar thing to do!

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Old Sep 10th 2016, 12:54 pm
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Default Re: Urgent question about wife who bailed out

Originally Posted by ian-mstm View Post
If you're looking for some sort of revenge and if you know his name, you should be able to find out and contact his parole officer. The guy is not allowed to engage in illegal activities while on parole - and, while this may do nothing, it could alert the parole officer to possible future activities. Then again, he was in prison - so perhaps your wife will get what you feel is coming to her anyway!

Ian
Yeah, he's been in prison since he was 17, now 34 and was released last week! Can't imagine he's the most charming of men!

Once her money runs out, her tax credits etc stop, can't have a job, he breaks parole, gets a hiding or whatever, she might wake up!
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Old Sep 10th 2016, 12:58 pm
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Default Re: Urgent question about wife who bailed out

Originally Posted by ian-mstm View Post
Is your wife bipolar? I ask because...



... this is a very bipolar thing to do!

Ian
Well now that you ask!!!

She was always a little different, but nothing I couldn't cope with lol. She certainly never did extreme things like this.

Suddenly two years ago she started writing to prisoners on death row and serving life sentences. Played the innocent, claimed she just wanted to be their friends etc. I wasn't comfortable about it, but thought what harm can it do.

Never in my life did I imagine she'd take off like this, abandon her kids and decided she's staying there! One heck of a shock.

I'm sure I could have done more to prevent this, but short of taking her passport away I couldn't lock her in the house while I go to work.
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