MISCONDIA

Hello all

I've not yet moved to US. Am in a relationship with a US citizen and hope to eventually move over there (California) with my two children sometime in the beginning of next year. As well as all of the other concerns about moving/uprooting the children from the UK to the US, I'm worrying about how it will affect my children's (mainly my 13 year old daughter's) education. Is the transition from the UK education system to US education system difficult? Will she be at the same educational level as other children in her age group or lower or higher? Will she hate me for me ruining her life?!

I'd really appreciate input/information/advice from anyone who has experienced this with their own children.

Ta muchly,

Misco

loopylorns

Oh gosh!

really difficult question to answer and I suggest you do a few searches within the forum.

For us it was not a good move to bring our girls here ages 14, 13, 10, 3

with it being the worst for the 14 and 13 year old but I really believe alot depends on the area and weather you will be staying here etc.

As I said check out the other threads on this as there have been alot as of late.

different experiences all round from members.

Good luck xx

Elvira

Unless your kids are 100% on board with moving to the US, have HIM move to the UK.

As for the education bit - depends entirely on where you are moving to. Could be total crap, could be fantastic.

Mallory

First thing, would be to check with the father of your children, to see if he will give permission for you to take them to USA. Some dads don't want them to leave the country.

MISCONDIA

Loopy, thanks - what are the reasons for it not being good for your 14 and 13 year old?

I've tried to search the forum to see if there are any similar threads...and either haven't put in the right keyword - or I get sidetracked by reading other threads which aren't relevant at all!

Elvira - I wish it were that simple and he could move to UK - but he is also divorced and has 3 children and he would lose access to them if he moved out of the state let alone the country. Hoping to move to Thousand Oaks area in Ventura County - one of his daughters is the same age as my daughter and so they will be going to the same school and so I have no worries about whether it's a good or not - it appears to be a very very good school - but my concern is about the 'gap' between UK and US education (if any). I hope to visit there in May and will do my own research on the schools etc...but in the meantime...I thought I'd put myself through the wringer and worry (perhaps unnecessarily)...as I do!

MISCONDIA

mmm...yeh, I have to make sure that I'm going to actually move to the US before I discuss this with my ex husband. I have to research and make sure that it's the best move for my children regardless of what I want. If it's not right for my children then it won't happen. So, no point bringing it up with the ex until I'm 100% certain that I'm moving.

Elvira

Are you saying you've never been there before? Have you children been? How do they feel about moving? Are they just excited about moving to California, or do they - and you - actually know what this might entail?

How well do you know the US and how very different it is to the UK?

You must do plenty of homework on all this - not just the education bit. You can probably find a good school, but that's only the start. Our sons went to an excellent school here in California, but they still found it VERY difficult to settle. The oldest ended up going back on his own, one of his brothers is just biding his time until he finishes uni, and # 3 son - the only one who likes it here - won't be able to stay here long-term because he has a serious chronic condition which would make healthcare a life-long nightmare for him once he has to come off our insurance.

I can understand that you want to be with your man, but you must be totally confident about what you are doing and whether it is worth fundamentally disrupting your children's lives for the sake of your happiness. Not saying it could not work - but you have to go into this fully aware of all the potential implications.

Deedee13

My kids 13 and 14 totally love it here, but different circumstances to a lot of others. I know a whole mix of people some love it and some hate it. Its not all like the tv portrays it to be and they have to be made aware of that. Are they in the knowledge that u are contemplating moving over? Dont just spring it on them. It all sounds like a great adventure at first but believe me it isnt. Many families split up before, or even after arriving. I think i was one of the lucky ones with my kids. However and something we have noticed, and that is the restrictions. You have to drive everywhere, its not a case of mom i am out this afternoon i will be home by 7. That doesnt happen anymore. They used to have a bike and the ability to just go swimming and go to the park and go down town. That is not the case here!!! They are dependant on me and will be for a lot longer.

Jerseygirl

I don't know if that's such a bad thing...at least you then know where they are...who they are with and what they are doing.

One thing that's not been mentioned is the exorbitant cost of university education.

loopylorns

Oh dear youve asked the fatal question!

Please bear in mind this is just my experience and view.


Ok well we came on an H1B visa and as others will say its a bit of a dodgy visa in that if job ends you leave country so we had to bear this in mind making our decision.

We came Oct o6 so girls had missed 6 weeks school here in the USA.

Our eldest went into high school as a freshman but because her classes were not scheduled before term start they were full and could only offer her maths, biology, history and english no other subjects.

They could not give her a full schedule until Sept 07 by which time she would of missed alot of education.

To leave school at 18 here we wanted our girls to be no worse off than they would be in the Uk so she needed to do AP courses here but they could not put her into these without enough marks but as they could not give her enough classes this could not work either. They also could not convert marks from England.

Without the AP's she would have left at 18 with a basic diploma which when equated up with the UK admissions department at the UEA was only worth 5 GCSE's at C+.

This might not sound too bad but bearing in mind she was due to sit 11 GCSE's in England at 16 having 5 at 18 was not right.

This would mean she would have to go to college and do A levels to enable her to go to uni in the Uk putting her 2 years behind.

As we have a daughter in the year below her and another just turning 11 we worked out that to get them all through highschool without moving half way through we would need to be here 8 years.

Also this is all taking into account that you keep the visa which as my husband company have turned out to be unreliable I was not prepared to gamble my kids future.

In the end my eldest returned in Feb to live with my mum and is now coming up to the end of her first year of gcse subjects, she caught up no problems and took on a second foreign language too, we atre returning in June, the 13 year old gcse subjects are picked and all well.


My advice to you is to look into it well but please dont just take our thoughts on it as there are people on here that find it ok.

Good luck x

Deedee13

i agree jersey, but they used to have a little more freedom... nice small village, everyone knew everyone. They are getting used to it. Hubby is worse tho , he wont let them go to peoples houses unless he has been too. Actually in this day and age... better safe than sorry.

Deedee13

this is something that always confuses me. If education is so pathetic in the USA why do so many people want to come here and study in Universities???? I have noticed that some here are dumber than dumb. Infact they probably cant spell it . When someone gets a calculater out to do 10% then i just lose it!! But why do they all seem to want to come here to learn??????????????? any answers because it boggles me! All educations in most countries are going down the hole if u ask me....... not like it used to be at all!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jerseygirl

I would never move without doing a reckie first. Life portrayed in US films and TV programs is not at all typical of life in the US.

Jerseygirl

One thing to check when your children are going to their friends' homes is.....do they have any firearms on the premises.

This was a big issue at the school my daughter went to....they always recommended you check it out first.

Elvira

A *reckie*, Jersey dear??? You been spending too much time in the Barbie again then...

Anyway, we did plenty of reckies - must have spent a total of 2 years in the US over the years, half of that in Cali, and half of that again in the place we eventually moved to. And it still went tits up. Some things you just can't plan for, but if you are at least aware of what might happen, you might be able to guide your decisions. (NB: using generic 'you' obviously)