Twisted Nursery Rhymes
I'm trying to remember so of the old 'alternate' rhymes from my younger days. Here's some of the ones I came up with can anyone remember any more?
Hickory Dickory Dock, Three Mice Ran Up The Clock, The Clock Struck One, The Other Two Got Away With Minor Injuries. Ding Dong Bell, Pussies In The Well, But Now We've Put Some Dettol Dow, We Won't Mind The Smell. Mary Had A Little Lamb, With Whom She Used To Sleep, That Little Lamb It Was A Ram, And Now She's Having Sheep. Jack And Jill Went Up The Hill, To Fetch A Pail Of Water, I Don't Know What They Did Up There, But Now They Have A Daughter. |
Re: Twisted Nursery Rhymes
Mary had a little lamb
she tied it to a pylon it sent 10,000 volts up it's arse and turned it into nylon |
Re: Twisted Nursery Rhymes
Mary had a little lamb
And it was always bleating She tied it to a 5-bar gate And kicked its little ****** in |
Re: Twisted Nursery Rhymes
Spider, Spider on the wall
you think your smart but you know f**k all, thats the wall thats just been plastered now your stuck you stupid b**tard I know... its not a nursery rhyme... but it is cute. |
Re: Twisted Nursery Rhymes
The boy stood on the burning deck
Picking his nose like fury Rolling it up in little balls And flicking it at the jury. The boy stood on the burning deck, his body all a quiver. He gave a cough, his leg flew off and floated down the river. |
Re: Twisted Nursery Rhymes
Mary had a little lamb
she milked it with a spanner. Milk came out in shilling tins, an small uns at a tanner. Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to fetch the postman a letter But when she got there the cupboard was bare so they had it without and was better. |
Re: Twisted Nursery Rhymes
The boy stood on the burning deck
Playing a game of cricket The ball rolled up his trouser leg And stumped his middle wicket |
Re: Twisted Nursery Rhymes
Jack be nimble
Jack be quick Jack jumped over the candle stick Silly boy he should have jumped higher Goodness gracious, great balls of fire |
Re: Twisted Nursery Rhymes
Little miss muffet
Sat on a tuffet Knickers all tattered and torn It wasn't a spider that sat down beside her But little boy blue with the horn |
Re: Twisted Nursery Rhymes
Little Bo Peep Has lost her sheep,
and don't know where to find them, leave them alone and they will come home, with torch wielding French farmers behind them. A boy and a girl went out hiking, Of course they were both wearing shorts, They stopped at the old pig & whistle, And there had a couple of ports, When they came home that evening, The neighbours all started to quiz, For he came home wearing her shorts, And she came home wearing his. |
Re: Twisted Nursery Rhymes
Mary had a little lamb
She took it to a wedding She tied it to a lampost and kicked it's ****ing head in. |
Re: Twisted Nursery Rhymes
My friend billy had a 6 ft willy,
he showed to the girl next door, she thought it was a snake, and hit it with a rake, and now its only 5ft 4. |
All times are GMT. The time now is 7:01 am. |
Powered by vBulletin: ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.