Celtic_Angel

so now Halloween is outta the way we lucky expats in the good ol' U.S get to celebrate Thanksgiving before Xmas rolls along

Do you have any memorable Thanksgiving stories you want to share? , any cheesey jokes or favorite recipes? Lemmie know what you're gonna do this turkey day.....

actually last year because i didn't want to endure yet again another turkey dinner by the time Xmas came along we actually had duckl'orange for Thanksgiving!! hehe don't tell my american friends

here's a funny to get us started

HOW TO COOK A TURKEY

Step 1: Go buy a turkey
Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey, scotch, or JD
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens
Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
Step 7: Turn oven the on
Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky
Step 9: Turk the bastey
Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey
Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 15: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 16: Floor the turkey up off the pick
Step 17: Turk the carvey
Step 18: Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 19: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
Step 20: Bless the saying, pass and eat out

Bob

Duck would be great
Though we end up with stupidly huge turkeys, it's a thanks giving and x-mas bonus the FIL get's from the boss as the boss knows some one that runs a turkey place or somin', but either way, there monster big ones *l*
Do miss the decent stuffings outta the box though, and it's weird having the mondo roast with mashed potatoes, can't quite get used to that I don''t think *l*

Just Jenney

The "How to Cook a Turkey" bit was hysterical -- thanks for the laugh!!

I have a turkey tip for everyone -- it might sound really gross, but believe me, it makes the turkey taste SOOO good!!

1) With your hands, gently separate the turkey skin from the meat. You'll want to keep it as intact as possible, just separating it enough to get your hands in between the two. There will be a few tendons here and there holding the skin on. Then wash your hands.

2) Take a whole bunch of margarine -- I mean A LOT, like one of the small tubs you get at the supermarket. (You can use butter but margarine's a bit less fattening.) Put it in a bowl and put some spices in it -- I usually put salt, pepper, oregano, poultry seasoning, and cumin, but you can put pretty much anything you like.

3) With your hands, smush all the spices and margarine together until it's thoroughly mixed. You can try using a spoon but you'll find using your hands is easier!

4) A little bit at a time and using your hands, layer the margarine mix between the turkey skin and the meat. Don't be stingy with it -- you'll want a hefty layer, at least a 1/4 inches thick. When you're done covering the entire turkey with the margarine mix (under the skin, that is), then lightly smooth down the skin so there are no loose flaps or anything.

5) Cook the turkey as you normally would, basting it, etc.

The end result is that the margarine has melted down into the turkey meat, making it exceptionally moist, and the spices have seasoned the turkey on the inside of the skin.

I got this tip from a slacker friend from college who learned it watching Julia Child on tv -- but only because he was too lazy to look for the remote to change the channel!


I also have a funny Thanksgiving story -- well, memorable, anyway! It was when my first hubby, Ian, and I were living in Santiago, Chile -- our first Thanksgiving away from home. Our problems stemmed from our Chilean-style oven.

The oven was a gas oven, which neither of us had experienced in the States before. The stovetop burners were easy enough to figure out -- but the oven didn't have a thermostat. The dials for the oven settings consisted of little illustrations of flames -- one flame, two flames, three flames and four flames. So it wasn't like we could just set the dial to bake something at 350 degrees!

The gasline to the oven also lighted the stovetop burners. We rarely used the oven, only really used the stovetop for cooking. For safety, whenever we stopped cooking something on the stovetop, we'd turned the gasline off. If we had to cook something on the stovetop again, we'd turn it back on.

And this was how it went on Thanksgiving, since we were cooking various things at different times on the stovetop -- green beans, gravy, etc. The problem was that we TOTALLY forgot that we were also cooking the turkey in the oven!

Ian eventually checked on the turkey and saw that the oven had no flames in it. That's because when we turned off the gasline, it cut the flames in the oven. But within a few minutes we had turned the gasline back on (to cook something else on the stovetop) -- but didn't relight the oven. Instead the oven filled up with gas for about 45 minutes!

After leaving the oven door open for about 2 minutes, Ian thought it was safe to relight the oven. I pleaded with him not to, but he's a stubborn guy and insisted it would be ok. So he lit a match and leaned into the oven. There was a small *pop!* which caused Ian to pull back a bit, and then a louder *BOOM!* -- I literally saw a fireball shoot out of the oven!

Because it was summertime, Ian had shorts on. He lost a bunch of hair on his left leg, but otherwise was unscathed. No burns or anything. It scared the shit out of me, though!! We managed to finish cooking the turkey (with the above turkey tip ) and it was delicious!

As if that wasn't weird enough, when we talked to Ian's mom later that night, we found out the same exact thing had happened to HER when their family lived in Brazil years earlier. She wasn't as lucky as Ian, though -- she lost her eyebrows AND her eyelashes! Ouch!

~ Jenney

doctor scrumpy

The ONLY method of cooking turkey is as follows.

1) Let the Memsahib do all work

2) Sit back with alcohol & watch sport on tv.

It is optional whether one shoves free hand down front of trousers / shorts.

Celtic_Angel

PMSL!!!! Aww Jen i almost choked on my coffee with that story...hilarious!!! Sounds like something from Mr Bean lol!!

Glad he wasn't hurt though....and you still salvaged the turkey!!

CaliforniaBride

Our turkey recipe is to soak it for 24 hours in apple brine. Put it in a bin liner with the juice tie it up and sit it in a cooler with loads of ice packed around. Then chuck it on the barbeque. Delicious!

Apple Brine Recipe:
Bring 2 quarts apple juice, 1lb brown sugar and 1 cup kosher salt to the boil until dissolved. Skim any foam and let cool.

Mix with 3 quarts of water, 3 oranges quartered, 4oz fresh ginger, thinly sliced, 15 whole cloves of garlic, 6 bay leaves and 6 large cloves of garlic crushed.

The meat is incredibly moist and smokey. But non of the individual flavours stand out. First time we did it I was amazed. We make it for family when they visit. Besides the taste the best bit is showing rels how to cook a whole turkey on a barbeque.