fatbrit

anotherlimey

And it's not about Florida/Credit/British Food?

What is wrong with you man?

Elvira

Have a nice day!

Celsius

I think the most popular type of thread can be summed up thus-

Dear:

[ ] Clueless Newbie [ ]Lamer [ ] Flamer
[ ] Loser [ ] Spammer [ ] Troller
[ ] "Me too" er [ ] Pervert [ ] Geek
[ ] Freak [ ] Nerd [ ] Elvis
[ ] Racist [ ] Fed [ ] Homeopath
[ ] Fundamentalist [ ] Satanist [ ] Xenophobe
[ ] Unbearably self-righteous person

I took exception to your recent:

[ ] Email [ ] Post to Britishexpats.com (USA Forum)

[ ] Usernet


It was (check all that apply):

[ ] Lame [ ] Stupid [ ] Abusive
[ ] Clueless [ ] Idiotic [ ] Brain-damaged
[ ] Imbecilic [ ] Arrogant [ ] Malevolent
[ ] Contemptible [ ] Libelous [ ] Ignorant
[ ] Boring [ ] Dim [ ] Cowardly
[ ] Deceitful [ ] Demented [ ] Self-righteous
[ ] Crazy [ ] Weird [ ] Hypocritical
[ ] Loathsome [ ] Satanic [ ] Despicable
[ ] Belligerent [ ] Mind-numbing [ ] Maladroit
[ ] Much longer than any worthwhile thought of which you may be
capable.

Your attention is drawn to the fact that:

[ ] You posted what should have been emailed
[ ] You obviously don't know how to read your newsgroups line
[ ] You are trying to make money on a non-commercial newsgroup
[ ] You self-righteously impose your religious beliefs on others
[ ] You self-righteously impose your racial beliefs on others
[ ] You posted a binary in a non-binaries group
[ ] You don't know which group to post in
[ ] You posted something totally uninteresting, and predictable
[ ] I don't like your tone of voice
[ ] You seem to think you can waltz into Florida

[ ] You think Florida would make a great place to live, without ever having lived there
[ ] You quoted an *entire* post in your reply
[ ] You started a long, stupid thread
[ ] You continued spreading a long stupid thread
[ ] Your post is absurdly off topic for where you posted it
[ ] You posted a followup to crossposted robot-generated spam
[ ] You posted a "test" in a discussion group rather than in alt.test
[ ] You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK" message
[ ] You posted low-IQ flamebait
[ ] You need to do a search for the 50,000 other similar messages like this
[ ] You followed up to a blatantly obvious troll
[ ] You said "me too" to something
[ ] You make no sense
[ ] Your sig/alias is dreadful
[ ] You posted a phone-sex ad
[ ] You posted a stupid pyramid money making scheme
[ ] You claimed a pyramid-scheme/chain letter for money was legal
[ ] Your margin settings (or lack of) make your post unreadable.
Each line just goes on and on, not stopping at 75 characters, making
it hard to read.
[ ] You posted a message written in ALL CAPS
[ ] Your post was FULL of RANDOM CAPS for NO APPARENT REASON
[ ] You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of this newsgroup.
[ ] You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of the Internet.
[ ] You are a loser.
[ ] This has been pointed out to you before.
[ ] You didn't do anything specific, but appear to be so generally
worthless that you are being flamed on general principles.

It is recommended that you:

[ ] Get a clue
[ ] Get a life
[ ] Go away and do some research on how to get a visa
[ ] Grow up
[ ] Never post again, until you understand that there is more to the USA than just Florida
[ ] Read every newsgroup you posted to for a week
[ ] stop reading Usenet news and get a life
[ ] stop sending Email and get a life
[ ] Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it
[ ] Have your medication adjusted
[ ] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor
[ ] find a volcano and throw yourself in
[ ] get a gun and shoot yourself
[ ] Actually post something relevant
[ ] Read the FAQ
[ ] Apologize to everybody in this forum for even remotely thinking you can live here.
[ ] consume excrement
[ ] Visit Florida for without taking the kids to see Mickey Mouse.
[ ] Post your tests to alt.test/misc.test
[ ] Put your home phone number in your ads from now on
[ ] Refrain from posting until you have a vague idea what you're
doing

In Closing, I'd Like to Say:

[ ] You need to seek psychiatric help
[ ] Take your gibberish somewhere else
[ ] *plonk*
[ ] Learn how to post or get off the usernet
[ ] Most of the above
[ ] All of the above
[ ] Some of the above, not including all of the above
[ ] You are so clueless that I didn't even bother filling in this
form.

elfman

quick statistical breakdown by thread type:

Ill-informed dullards wanting to move to Florida 4,594
Where can I get Heinz baked beans in Texas 2,230
George Bush is an idiot/evildoer 1,204
How to get credit/mortgage 756
Americans telling us all to love it or leave it 655
Incredibly specific visa question posted in wrong forum 305
Lifestyle and culture in US 256

Celsius

For those who can't (be bothered to) read-

Toontje

YOU ALL SUCK

Angry White Pyjamas

Only 4594? It seems so much more somehow.

Bob

blimey....a one of those days eh ?