Cami123

I am in research and come from a clinical background (not nursing, I come from medicine, but same difference) - depending on your field of research it might be much easier to find a research nursing job in your phd field and see if you can use data for your phd at home than to transfer your phd program over to UPenn. I found that finding a research job for a clinical person was insanely easy - like 1 email, 1 phone call easy. I came highly recommended which helped but my job is at a Top 3 University where I thought I had no hope in hell.

My wife applied to many postdoc programs in the area and eventually was offered 2, but that took much much longer (and a lot more heartache, due to not getting answers or getting half offers that ended up meaning nothing).

I know you guys are still playing around with ideas - but before you consider transferring your phd, talk to your phd supervisor and find out if you could make it part of your home phd (often PIs will have contacts), rather than trying to put a square peg into a round hole by transferring into a very different phd scheme.

RollingStones

This is great advise Cami123.
Thank you. Really sensible.

Well done on your position. You must have been really chuffed!

Now involved in another thread about the kids schooling and it's scaring the beejesus out of me. If it's not one thing, it's another...

SanDiegogirl

From your posts you appear to be considering a short term move (2 to 3 years).

With all that is going on in your lives (children, schooling and your career) are you sure this all worth while for such a short time?

RollingStones

I'm beginning to wonder that myself SanDiegogirl.

I'm never one to shy away from an adventure but not at the risk of screwing up the kids.

SanDiegogirl

Apart from the children what will you do about accommodation? Renting out your current home? (don't expect it to be the same after two years of rental), renting in the US? purchasing furniture (or are you shipping?).

What is the company offering you as a "package" for this move? Is it covering all your costs?

Don't underestimate just the physical effort of moving your life to another continent.

Personally, and I don't have children, I would not do it for just a two year stint; and if I remember correctly, you are not even going over for a quick look at hubby's place of work or where you might live!

RollingStones

This is a fair point but only because our life is jam packed already right up until September. We haven't discounted it though, it's just we'd have to make room for it.

Hubby said he didn't know if we could go over beforehand but I think I'm going to have to insist, as I'm asking more questions than he is. His team is so excited by this possibility it's rubbing off on him, now I'm finding I'm wobbling.

We don't own our home SanDiegogirl, so that's a non issue for us - thank goodness.

Hubby is actually a New Zealander, he came here when after we met in Auckland, now he's a naturalised UK citizen - but that's another romantic story. Essentially he has no ties here besides us, and he's been given a very good career opportunity.

kodokan

Ahhh... so you're both free from property ties, and he's already moved countries once, and you guys met in Auckland - were you living there, or holidaying? Are you the live overseas type too?

Is there a chance of this becoming a more permanent move; is there scope to develop his career over there instead of the UK?

That would make a big difference to the move advisability, and you sound like a family that could resiliently cope with intercultural challenges.

RollingStones

We're totally free from property ties, we've always rented where we wanted to live and enjoyed the flexibility. Much to the chagrin of my family and bemusement of our friends. We've filled the house though so it's to be decided whether we take our stuff or store it.

I was in NZ on a working visa when I met my husband. The ability to travel being one of the many privileges of my qualification.

Now with a fantastic career opportunity for him, it's up to me to make it one for me and both of us to make it one for the kids. The children have been pretty sheltered. Hubby is keen for them to get an international perspective particularly given our friendly, but homegenous, community.

My research is telling me that it's not necessarily moving to the States but returning only 2 years later that's likely to flatten the kids.

kodokan

I canvassed my kids for you - one (who tends towards acquaintances rather than soul-deep friendships) almost didn't understand the question and said it would be completely fine socially, why ever not? The other (13, drama queen of the 'nobody understands the troubles I have *deep sigh*' type) said she would spend her time thinking 'pointless being friends, going in 18/12/6 months' but grudgingly conceded she'd be sucked into friendships regardless. American kids are generally super friendly and engaging.

kodokan

And I'd say take your stuff, especially if there's any chance of it being a long term green card deal. It'll be free in the relocation, whereas buying new won't be. And it's settling for the kids, I think; makes it feel like home and provides continuity.

HartleyHare

As we knew we would only go for a couple of years we put all our belongings into storage. We each took a few personal items. Our relocation expenses covered the storage fees and the purchase of furniture from IKEA for our apartment.

When we left the US, we donated the majority of our stuff to goodwill with my husband's work colleagues taking the TV and several items of furniture.

RollingStones

I like that - canvassing your kids for us, kodokan. My daughter doesn't have a single best friend, she has lots of friendship groups, as she puts it.

Talking about it this morning I think the issue is returning our daughter into Year 11. It's quite late into the GCSE journey and, as she's April born, she's nicely placed within her school year. I'm not sure how she'd cope with that in the same school, or even if we'd get in since the school is oversubscribed anyway. I'm trying to arrange a conversation with the headteacher.
Or would, if possible, bringing her back into a private school make things easier for to finish her schooling for GCSE's and A Levels?

Husband is adamant that she's up to it. My Mother in the other hand is devastated, and feels very strongly that we're going to screw her up.

I quite like the idea of storing some stuff and moving essential bits. I understand we'd need to offload all the electronics. I hope that doesn't apply to phones, and laptops?

yellowroom

My mum burst into tears any time anyone asked her about me when I was in the US - you just need to find a way to be kind but firm with her, but don't let her sway you about whatever you decide is best for your family. I didn't have kids so my situation was a lot simpler than yours. I hope you find the right answer for you - there's lots of really good info on this site. Best of luck.

Generally, anything with a power charger/brick is fine for moving between UK and US. Have a look at the charger - most say "110v - 240v", so can cope globally with differing voltage. The rare case it is rated for EU 220-240v only, you can usually source a US version once you're in the US - I seem to remember I did it for my Wii.

Of course, the plug/prongs will be the wrong shape, but you can usually get round that. Depending on the charger shape you could make do with some travel adaptors. If they use a "kettle lead" cable, you can cheaply source US versions. Or, again, just buy some US chargers while you're there - I got a couple of generic mini-USB chargers for phones and kindles. They're not expensive. I also took over one of my UK plug extension boards, plugged that into the travel adaptor and then plugged in my UK chargers. I'm not sure how recommended that is - I didn't plug in anything needing lots of juice and it worked ok temporarily until I sourced enough US cables and stuff.

US customer service can be quite good in cases like this - I have a Bose ipod dock, and due to the shape of the "brick", I didn't want to rely on a travel charger as the weight would pull it out of the socket. I lived near a Bose shop, wandered in and asked about a solution and they gave me a free "prong" section that swapped on the charger with the UK three pin prong bit. A smile and a "hello, I'm new here, can you help?" went a long way in Virginia!

kins

Can you move back when she is due to start year 12 instead?

If she had some idea which A levels she was planning to take, she could try to steer towards those in her US high school.

Just pondering really... It would save moving her halfway through GCSEs.

kins

Socially I'd be less worried. It's the educational stuff I'd worry about.

In a US high school I think she'll be an interesting, slightly glamorous student with her English accent. My 15 year old really wishes she'd kept her English accent now.

The moves might screw her up, or you could screw her up by staying in the UK. You never know. We can only control so much in our kids' lives :-)