jerseylndr

We're considering a move to North Jersey in the near future (for a commute to NYC) but we're in love with our SW London lifestyle and location. We've come here to see if anyone else had similar concerns and/or has done a similar move from SW London to North Jersey. We can't plan an in person exploration until travel bans are lifted and even so, are finding it a bit difficult to plan which towns to visit based on online reviews and photos. Any input is very much appreciated!!!

For a bit more context, what we're sad to leave behind is a 10 minute walk from our gym, 10 minute walk from the shop, 20-30 minute ride from riverside parks and shopping areas in Kingston Upon Thames, Richmond Upon Thames and Putney. I'm almost convincing myself not to leave just writing this out but the next chapter of our life points to NJ for various reasons.

Our biggest concern is finding somewhere that's walkable and doesn't just have a dead or otherwise dinky downtown - somewhere with the bustling yet chilled feel of Kingston Upon Thames and Richmond Upon Thames. One of us grew up elsewhere in NJ and can't think of anywhere similar, apart from by the beach (during the on season), and the other grew up in London and isn't ready for a Suburbanfeel. Expecting a lot of compromise ahead!

steph0scope

Is it a permanent or limited-time move? What are the circumstances? One wonders why you would consider moving if you are so happy with your current lifestyle and location? Obviously if you are being sent away on government orders such as the military or foreign office you don't have much choice and it's part and parcel of the job. But if this is voluntary?

Olly_

Maplewood, Millburn, South Orange, Montclair, Summit spring to mind especially if you need to be able to commute into NYC by train.

carcajou

What visa are you on, or are either of you US citizens? I think you will get better replies from people, if it is clear that this move can actually happen. Plenty of people post on here questions like yours but don't actually have any realistic chance of getting a visa.

I have never lived in Northern New Jersey, but I can speak to its reputation, which is that it doesn't appeal to most Americans. Some parts are considered to be some of the roughest neighbourhoods in the country. Most Americans consider it a mix of industrial and cookie-cutter strip mall suburbia - "Levittowns" (look up what that is) were big in Northern New Jersey. But I do know people who thought suburbs like Montclair were nice.

A lot of younger Americans, move to New York City for the "lifestyle" and stay in Brooklyn, Queens etc, and then when they get a bit older and become willing to trade lifestyle for home ownership or better family-friendly accommodation, look to Northern New Jersey or (if they have money) southern Connecticut - or increasingly, leave New York City entirely for a smaller big city with lower expenses like Boston or Philadelphia.

I have quite a few good friends who went that route when they graduated uni. One moved to Queens, then after a long run there of about 10 years, was going to move to Northern New Jersey to settle but then that got aborted and he is back in Queens. Another lived in various spots in Manhattan, got tired of the expenses and traffic (again, after about 10 years) and moved to Boston. I don't think he loves it there, but his wife is from there, and he does own a house and has settled. Another one lived in Manhattan briefly (3 years or so) then went to Connecticut and commutes into New York every day, but loves it and that's been going on about a decade now.

That is all just a broad profile though. I would say if you are targeting Northern New Jersey, don't even think about making any firm commitments until you can actually scout out the cities and townships in person.

Concur with the others who said you may be better off staying put - or looking more around London.

jerseylndr

Good question! It'd be permanent, we want a different environment and the support group that would be available to us in NJ (family) for raising children.

jerseylndr

Thank you!! This is useful, only one of these are on my list right now. I'll have a look at the rest!

jerseylndr

Good point - we're married and one of us is a U.S. born citizen and one is a UK born citizen. We've investigated this thoroughly on a number of occasions over the past 10 years and have already gone through the process to get UK citizenship for the American half of us so we have an idea of what we're in for.

You're spot on. Industrial surroundings and cookie-cutter strip mall suburbias are exactly what we'd want to avoid - plus downtown 'strips' that have about 30 storefronts before the sidewalk disappears. The American half of us grew up elsewhere in NJ and has been cringing at the idea of moving to North Jersey for that exact reason but NYC is a necessary evil for one of our jobs and we've read some great reviews and comments of communities in North Jersey. We're past the young city dweller's renting lifestyle and want to own and look toward having a family. Connecticut looks Beautiful, but it's further from the NJ family support group so not ideal for raising the potential kids.

It's interesting to hear the variety between your friends - one stayed in NY, one gone to Boston, and one moved to Connecticut but still commuting to NYC. There are certainly options to consider at least.

carcajou

Your comment of South Orange, made me think of Piscataway. Living near a major university like Seton Hall or Rutgers would provide a lot of funky cheap eateries, entertainment etc. Piscataway also made Money Magazine's top 100 places to live list last year.

Pulaski

We were very similar - Anglo-US couple, living in SW20. We relocated to Westchester, so a similar commute into Manhattan. We arrived in November 2001, but it was horrrible, not at all what we wanted. My wife (the USC) couldn't find steady work, we couldn't find a house we liked, and my job wasn't tolerable - my manager was an a-hole (and British, so I am not impugning any New Yorkers ). I resigned after eight months, and we packed everything we had into a rental truck, and left.

We have never regretted leaving, not for a minute. We took some time to unwind, then I was offered a "dream" job in NC, and my wife got a great job soon after. We're still here 17 years later.

devoted2him3

Your post title caught my eye as we used to live in Kingston upon Thames! We're now in Texas so not very helpful in terms of advice for moving to NJ. However, having recently made the move (2ish years ago) from the area you're now, I deeply regret it. My thoughts about the grass being greener overtook me when planning our move and I admit I wasn't as logical about such a big move as I should have been. I am a dual citizen but US born, husband is UK born, nearly ready to apply for US citizenship.

I miss everything about our life in Kingston - the convenience of public transportation and being able to walk places, the number of pubs and interesting restaurants (I'm in South Texas remember), the NHS, quality of education (our young son is well ahead of his peers here), proximity to central London and all it offers, being very close to the river and of course dear friends and family. I failed to take stock of all of this until it was too late and the wheels were in motion for us to go. I've made it my mission to advise others to think carefully about what they want.

It's wonderful that you'll have family in NJ, that alone will make a huge difference! And if you're going back to where one of you has previously lived, that will help a lot too. Best of luck to you in all your plans!